Redneck Marine's Letter Home

NVPete

Very Active Member
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1,370
Dear Ma and Pa:
I am well and I hope you are too. Tell brother Walt and brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them they need to join up real quick before all the places are filled.
I was restless at first because you get to stay in bed til nearly 6am, but I am getting so I like to sleep in late now. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot and shine a few things- no hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, or fire to lay-practically nothing.
Men got to shave, but it's not so bad; there's warm, running water. Breakfast is real strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, and toast; but kinda weak on chops,potatoes, ham, steak,fried eggplant, pie and other such regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always set by the city fellers that live on jest coffee. Their food, plus yours, usually holds you til noon when you get fed again. It's no wonder them city fellers can't walk much.
We go on 'route marches' which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it ain't my place to tell him any different, but a 'route march' is about as far as our mailbox at home, 'cept the city fellers usually get purty tired and have sore feet and we all get to ride back in trucks. The sergeant is like our school teacher, he nags a lot. The captain is kinda like the School Board. The majors and colonels just ride around a lot and frown at us, they don't bother you none.
This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep gettin' medals for shootin'. I don't know why; the bull's eye ain't near as small as a squirrel's head, and it don't move none; and it ain't shootin' at you like them dang Higgett boys back home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don't never even need to load your own cartridges, they come all boxed up and ready.
Then they have what they call hand to hand combat training. You get to wrestle with them city fellers. I have to be real careful, though, they break real easy. It ain't nothin' like fightin' with that ol' bull back home. I'm about the best they got at this, 'cept fer that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake. I only beat him once. He joined up about the same time as me, but I'm only 5'6" and 130 pounds, and he's 6'8" and purty near 300 pounds dry.
Be sure and tell Walt and Elmer to hurry up and join before other fellers get onto this set-up and come stampieding in

Your loving daughter,
Alice
 
Yes sir. That sounds about right.

"Vegetarians are cool. All I eat are vegetarians - except for the occasional mountain lion steak."
-Ted Nugent-
 
I was thinking that sounded about right.......until the signature line. LOL!


Within the shadows, go quietly.
 

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