WIFE/HUNTING ...a life long debate.

T

TINEBROTHER

Guest
So I have a pretty good relationship (married 7 yrs), but she usually gets pissed off about hunting around dec. and jan... well after one week achery elk and deer hunting in the uintas and a few days around town she is fuming already.. I am layed off and have plenty of time to hunt but gas money is little short, so why shouldnt I be able to go at least mornings? QUESTION IS... Where do I draw the line?
 
Good luck with that one. Do you like sleeping on the couch? My wife loves to hunt but we have a 2 yr old and that has taken her out of the feild for a while now, and I am paying for it this year. But I was smart before we decided to have our son I made her sign a contract that it would not interfere with my hunting and fishing. DIDN'T WORK!!!!! Women have what all (real men)need :)!!!!! until you can do without or find a replacement you need to walk the thin line that keeps her happy. As far as money times are real tuff for us right now too and I have had to sell some guns and other hunting, fishing, and backpacking stuff to raise gas money for my Arizona bull hunt and my Montana elk&deer hunt. You have a good question and if you find the answer can you let me know.:)
 
You have to decide what you want! Because she'll only get worse. You either push the envolope, when she says your not going, then you have to go. If you ever stay home when she throws a fit, your done. But don't be a dink, help her out at home, be a good provider, a good husband, and expecially a good dad. Have a good talk with her, and if it's her way or the highway, that's a big decision for you too make. My wife knows I love to hunt, and knows I'd be miserable if I didn't go alot.
She don't like living with someone that's not happy. So I try not to over do it, but I go. Good luck, that's a tough one. Hunting is not everything, but we all love it, and they should understand.
 
Good luck, it was never an issue of me going hunting until I had kids. Now, leaving for two weeks is a much bigger issue. But I understand, since it puts more pressure on her and doesn't give her any breaks from the kids. Try your best around home and see if that helps. Pick your battles...
 
"I am layed off and have plenty of time to hunt"

Right here is your problem man... Your statement should be- I am layed off and have plenty of time to search for another job... I'm afraid your priorities are messed up, though you may not think so.
2 years ago, I got laid off 2 days before the muzzy opener. I thought "This is great! I can go the whole hunt with my Dad and uncle now...!" But, my wife didn't think that was wise considering I had just lost my job, and we obviously needed income. So, I passed on the hunt and started looking for another job right away. She was happy, and I was busy. I found a job and I really only lost one hunt with my favorite hunting companions.
Sounds like you've hunted a lot already. I say, listen to her and find a job. You'll BOTH be happy then. And next year she will remember you gave your family priority over hunting, and I'm sure you will be rewarded.

"Therefore, wo be unto him that is at ease in Zion!" 2 Ne. 28: 24
 
Tinebrother I was there! Now I get to hunt whenever I want, apply for tags in every state, and never get yelled at anymore! I drew a hard line and stood by it! Well after e years of court battling my divorce is final! Yes! I'm not saying that its a good option but mine didn't want me hunting period! I went from hunting 10 weeks a year to a couple weekends and still got bitched at! And now me AND my kids hunt all the time and life is great for us! Not saying its the choice for you, but there are some real selfish people out there! And I also agree with a post that said, give her your all, help out around the house, life is all about sacrifices! Some good some bad!


I just call em as I see em!
 
Well I have a good job... I am in the pipefitters union.. So When I get laid off I just wait until they call me for another. Insurance and Pay and retirement remains the same. Best job for a hunter in my opinion. I have enjoyed the comments keep em comin! She has her up and down days... she always tells me she hates hunting season but she drew the book cliffs rifle tag this year and I hope it doesnt make her not want to go.
 
> "I am layed off and
>have plenty of time to
>hunt"
>
> Right here is your problem
>man... Your statement should be-
>I am layed off and
>have plenty of time to
>search for another job... I'm
>afraid your priorities are messed
>up, though you may not
>think so.
> 2 years ago, I got
>laid off 2 days before
>the muzzy opener. I thought
>"This is great! I can
>go the whole hunt with
>my Dad and uncle now...!"
>But, my wife didn't think
>that was wise considering I
>had just lost my job,
>and we obviously needed income.
>So, I passed on the
>hunt and started looking for
>another job right away. She
>was happy, and I was
>busy. I found a job
>and I really only lost
>one hunt with my favorite
>hunting companions.
> Sounds like you've hunted a
>lot already. I say, listen
>to her and find a
>job. You'll BOTH be happy
>then. And next year she
>will remember you gave your
>family priority over hunting, and
>I'm sure you will be
>rewarded.
>
>"Therefore, wo be unto him that
>is at ease in Zion!"
>2 Ne. 28: 24


Listen to the man.
 
I set the foundation while we were dating that from August to December, there is something to hunt (deer, elk, ducks coyotes, whatever). She said oh thats fine. I did have one MAJOR screw up in 1997 when I booked a Dall Sheep hunt in Alaska without telling her about it first and before I was able to tell her, she received my confirmation deposit in the mail for $1850. Needless to say I was in the dog house for awhile and rightfully so.

Well we just celebrated our 20th anniversary and I still go hunting pretty much when I want too. I'm beginning to think she actualluy likes it when I'm not here!!! My dad finally drew his Paunsagaunt rifle tag and I hope to be gone alot in the next few months. Man I love that woman.
 
I had this talk with my wife before we married. She is great and puts up with a lot! Deer season here starts in Sept and runs through Dec. We have two kids now and I don't do near as much stuff as I used to. I just feel selfish about myself, I still love to hunt but feel bad about being gone too much and leaving the wife home with the kids, and I miss them all when I'm gone. I've almost given up fishing and 3D archery and other things I used to do. Pretty much all I do now is hunt. My hope is that as my girls get older (they are 2 and 4 now) I can get them involved in hunting but we'll see, they are girls so if they don't want to hunt I won't be pushy about it. My wife won't hunt, she used to shoot 3D archery shoots with me but now with the kids she doesn't have time for much either. I try help out as much as I can when I'm home too to try to make up for the times when I'm gone.
 
I went through the same thing when I first got married and she came from a family of hunters,in fact I was hunting with most of them.Finally we split up and got the big D.Well 2 years later I come home from a elk hunt and she was moved home and we have been together ever since.I let her go on a moose hunt by herself to NF and don't ##### when she buys something.Spend some time with her before you go and do something she likes.Share your time with your family and it will work out.You will get busier with family as they get older and play sports or have school issue so live it like it's your last.
 
For purposes of identification the first wife hereafter known as "THE #####" always gave me grief about hunting . Sure glad she is no longer an issue.
 
>I had this talk with my
>wife before we married. She
>is great and puts up
>with a lot! Deer season
>here starts in Sept and
>runs through Dec. We have
>two kids now and I
>don't do near as much
>stuff as I used to.
>I just feel selfish about
>myself, I still love to
>hunt but feel bad about
>being gone too much and
>leaving the wife home with
>the kids, and I miss
>them all when I'm gone.
>I've almost given up fishing
>and 3D archery and other
>things I used to do.
>Pretty much all I do
>now is hunt. My hope
>is that as my girls
>get older (they are 2
>and 4 now) I can
>get them involved in hunting
>but we'll see, they are
>girls so if they don't
>want to hunt I won't
>be pushy about it. My
>wife won't hunt, she used
>to shoot 3D archery shoots
>with me but now with
>the kids she doesn't have
>time for much either. I
>try help out as much
>as I can when I'm
>home too to try to
>make up for the times
>when I'm gone.


Your kids , when old enough will be a blessing for your hunting hobbie. My wife will go to all lengths to have me and my kids in the field together. My boat motor has been acting up and she asked me out of the blue, how much a new motor would cost. Damn I love this woman! Funny thing though, Lately Ive had a hell of a time staying away for several nites. Just damn lucky I guess.
 
So compromise: go hunting in the morning and deliver pizzas in the evening to pay for the gas and a little extra. You admit that gas money is short. She has a valid grip. Address it and you can move past it.

txhunter58

venor, ergo sum (I hunt, therefore I am)
 
Decide what makes you feel better. Hunting or having your wife. If your wife is your best friend then I think hunting takes a back seat. I've scaled back my hunting considerably. I got so selfish and tied up in it that I was neglecting my family. Marriage is a two way street and you both have to sacrafice. Once you quit trying the battle is over.

I say listen to your wife and work out some sort of agreement. I would say you two probably don't get along when you are home and that she really wants to feel like you two are best friends. Then when you leave her insecurities creep in and boom she's pissed. Maybe I'm wrong but if you fix all those little issues in the off season and keep your wife as your best friend then come hunting season she is more than happy to let you go hunting because it will make her feel good like shes giving you a present.

Just my two worthless cents




ego participate in Monasteriense muleys proinde ego sum bardus (I participate on monstermuleys therefore I am stupid)
 
+1 stinky.


and thats from a chick who knows.

ego participate in Monasteriense muleys proinde ego sum bardus (I participate on monstermuleys therefore I am stupid)
 
My wife knows that I love the sport of hunting big game. I give my family my all, work long hours, do all the repairs/upgrades around the house and vehicle repairs also.
One thing that will earn you points is toget estimates before you do the repairs and then show her the cost savings after the repair is done. She will see the savings and thank you in more ways than one for doing something she would have had to pay the repairman to do. I have 3 kids, I always do things with my kids individually and together to give my wife her free time. She remembers those times around hunting season....compromise has never failed me nor has unconditional love. We each give alot and know we need our time to ourselves every year. She is my best friend and very understanding of my hobbies as I am of hers. My family is by far the most important thing to me in this world. I would give this sport up in a heartbeat if it ment keeping my family together.
 
I guess I'm lucky. It hasn't always been as easy as it is now, but she's always done her best to be supportive. Today was supposed to be the first day since the bow hunt opened that I didn't make it out to hunt, I was supposed to watch the kids so she could have one of her girl parties. (Still don't understand how inviting your friends over to sell them ##### is a "party", you don't see me inviting over a bunch of buddies to sell them camo) Anyway, I got home from work and started getting the kids their dinner and she said, "you better get going if your going to get any hunting done". She then proceeded to tell me that there was going to be enough women around to help with the kids. By the time I got ready and left, there wasnt enough time to go to any of my good spots, but I got to go regardless.

She's always buying me hunting stuff for holidays, she reminds me about draw dates, etc. and puts in for hunts herself. All of that and we have 4 kids, the oldest being five and a half years old. She came from a non hunting family and was actually borderline tree hugger when we started dating. I hunt from the time the bow hunt opens, till the duck hunt ends. Then, I hunt yote's in the late winter, bears starting in april, and by the time the bear hunt is over its time to start scouting for the bowhunt. The key is to make the time you spend as a family count, involve them in your hunting as much as possible and make her see that she matters to you as much as hunting does. If you don't understand why you hunting is hard on her, then your not seeing the whole picture and your being selfish. If you don't have money for gas, what kind of money does she have to spend while your gone? I have spent most of my marrage being flat ass'd broke, but when I go hunting, I try to make sure she has as much money to spend as I do. That way, instead of having ot make dinner, she can order pizza. Instead of having to be at home with the kids non stop, she can get a babysitter and go to a movie with a girlfriend. You get the picture.
 
"(married 7 yrs)" "Where do I draw the line?"

If you look way back behind you, about eight years ago, that little thing you can barely see... that's where the line was drawn. You're way too late now.


mod2.jpg
 
Ya it's too late now. I got divorced after 20 years and got a new lease on life. Life is too short to be miserable. Now I am extremely defensive. My current girlfriend was given the ground rules up front and accepted them. I accept hers. I'll be burning 2-3 weeks of vacation in November chasing bucks and she knows it. She is welcome to camp and hunt with me, but if not, don't biatch. So she does not. I told her up front if she can't accept it we won't work out. My kids are grown and gone so that is no longer an issue.

I am in zero hurry to change my single status.
 
>Well I have a good job...
>I am in the pipefitters
>union.. So When I get
>laid off I just wait
>until they call me for
>another. Insurance and Pay
>and retirement remains the same.

Well I guess this is where I get lost. Do you still have income when you're laid off? If so let her be pissed. Some of you guys make it sound like he has abandoned his family. My god he just wants to go hunting a couple weeks out of the year just like everyone else on this site. In my mind that's not to much to ask. I'm guessing his wife doesn't go without much. On the other hand if you don't have an income go find yourself a job and put hunting on the back burner for a while. My family comes first there is no doubt. But I'm going to hunt!! As for what stinkystomper said "it's like giving you a gift to go hunting" WHAT???? What about all the gifts given all the other weeks of the year. Making house payments, paying bills, car payments, making sure the kids get to practice, putting food on the table, You know all that other sh@t that is taken for granted. Going hunting a few days is not a gift from your wife it's a gift from yourself for busting your ass all year.
 
As its been said before. . . go get a job first. If you have no income, then hunting shouldnt be at the bottom of your list, it shouldnt even be on your list at all.

Maybe I am just really lucky, but my wife has no qualms with me hunting at all. I even took off for 10 days two weeks after our 2nd kid was born to go hunting. She didnt care at all. Her laid back attitude is partly because of the simple fact that she is an awesome woman, but also because of the way she is treated on a daily basis. Make an effort every day to show her why she married you, and I think you will find that will return the favor when it comes to you enjoying your hobbies. Cant say that works for everyone, but it worked for me.
 
I think woody had the best points. Ya I will have to work on some of that. I have $420 week coming in while I am not working now.. SO ya there is some income. Unfortunately I have to Go back to work tuesday. I will have to work harder in the future to have more money for this... rich mans sport.
 
33 years of marriage and counting.

I would like to offer no solution on YOUR situation!

My thought is this. YOU need to find a balance of what works for YOU and YOUR family.

My hunting has been out of control from time to time and I've spent too much money, at times, on some big outings (sheep hunting costs tons in both time and money). Yet I still have the same wife. I would say I'm one of the lucky ones since my wife is fiercely independent. Good at times, not so good at others but things seem to work for us.

Well bro...... GOOD LUCK!

Zeke
 
Zim, I would imagine your girlfriend is in zero hurry to change your single status also.
 
LAST EDITED ON Sep-02-10 AT 12:34PM (MST)[p]I stated on here that my first wife and I didnt see I 2 I on my hunting, but there were other problems to. Like we were really young, under 20.

Just wanted to say that my 2nd wife and I have been together 33 yrs and she lets me do what I want most of the time with no grief of any kind. Spoils me like a rich kid, and I try to do the same with her. We're pretty good finacally these days but has'nt always been that way . But she never in her life has said one neg. thing about my hunting.

I'm one lucky SOB and damn glad to have her. Yes , I let her know that every single day.
 
LEAVE HER!!! These non-understanding broads need to be put in their place. I personally think being in the feild is better than the companionship of a nagging broad. Easy choice if it were me. Find someone who understands you passion. If not whats it really worth? My girl has her passions and I have mine. Without that understanding the relationship is pointless(to me anyway) because I would never be able to truly be happy.

I understand that this is a fairly harsh stance but its what I believe. I wouldnt have gotten married in the first place if there was any indication that hunting season was her least favorite time of year. Just my $.02
 
> Zim, I would imagine your
>girlfriend is in zero hurry
>to change your single status
>also.

She does not pressure me, but she wants to be Mrs. Zim #2. However it's not happening any time soon. I would have to be 200% sure we were compatible. Her tires are gonna be flat from me kicking them.

Her enjoyment of 3D archery shooting is a step in the right direction.
 
I cant help you out, but when me and my wife started dating and things got serious i told her that if she wants to be with me antler hunting and deer hunting comes 1st and if she ever complaines about me going its over. We have been married 7 years and not once has she ever complained. I might also add our honeymoon was spent deer hunting 8 miles into the wilderness at 10,000 feet and she took her 1st deer so she enjoys hunting to.
 
What a bunch of morons... you think that little gal is just sitting at home watching the babies while you are hunting 60 days a year. LMAO... that rosey glow in her cheeks when you get home ain't 'cause she's pissed.

Slick
 
+1 slickrock.

Its hard to believe that some of these guys actually believe their women are totally ok with them loving to leave them for weeks on end and are still faithful.

I was just wondering how many men would love for their women to take several two week, very expensive, out of town shopping sprees with the girls every year? I think you'd be hittin the neighbor on the side eh?



ego participate in Monasteriense muleys proinde ego sum bardus (I participate on monstermuleys therefore I am stupid)
 
I'd be happy with her spending the same as or less than I do hunting and going away for two weeks. The most expensive part of my trips is the extra shopping, eating out and whatever she does when I'm gone. Guess that's fair:)
 
Told my wife when I married her that vacations would be hunting.

I would love for her to join me.

She married me anyhow, and goes hunting with me quite often. She experiences the same rush and scenery that I do hunting.

I also know there is a time to go hunting and there is a time to be earning a living and taking care of kids and family matters. As it is, since I work out of the house mostly I am with my family and kids more than most. I have been lucky that way.


BTW, THE ONLY REASON STINKY SAID ALL THAT MUSHY STUFF IS BECAUSE QTPIE READS MM ALSO. :)
 
I killed my first turkey on her b day,which I foreget half the time,got married in the middle of turkey season, so I could get extra time off to hunt. Deer hunt from oct to jan, with dove season,goose,duck,mixed in, out of state deer and antelope every other year. THATS THE BEST SPOUSE ANY ONE CAN HAVE.

PS I hung all my deer heads in the front room of our first home on the way sign the closeing papers and they are still there.She just laughed!!!!!!Lifes to short to put up with
BOVINE CATABOLISM. You have to find middle ground or neither of you will be happy.
 
Wow My wife is not from a hunting family and she supports me by letting me go a few months of the year. Missed our 1st and 2nd anniversary. my girls birthday until she was 4. I needed to work out the kids being born around hunting next time. She picked up hunting 4 years ago. She has killed a couple of deer with her bow and a speed goat. She now spends a month out there chasing and scouting the game. For advice I give you none. I was lucky to find a wife that is understanding. I work 48 hours staight then have 96 off is my schedule and we love it. I did tone down the waterfowl to twice a week the last couple of years to save on money. Out of state hunts doubled in the cost 4 years ago. Double edge sword on wife hunting. I am always straight up with her on letting her know what time and what day to expect me. Like I said I have been lucky and I have to have many hunting freinds to keep my needs happy.

P.S. a range finder for 10 year anniversary is not a good Idea!
 
My wife loves to hunt, not as much as me though. We fight over who gets to go and who stays home with the kids (3 and 1). Money keeps me from going as much as I would like to. She went into it knowing full well from august to february I'm going to be ancy and looking for a chance to go. Summertime we spend time doing stuff she likes to do and during the hunts I try to be considerate, just take it one fight at a time I guess.

4b1db2ac644136c4.jpg
 
My wife and I just had our 25th anniversary. I don't know why we get along so well. I am not going to pretend that I know all the answers because I don't. We had our first child three years after we got married. We didn't do much or spend a lot of money. We stayed out of debt as much as we could. Six years later we had our second, and three years later we had our third and last. Times were tough like everyone has. Still we lived as frugal as we could. When we got married I already owned reloading stuff for rifles, pistols, and shotguns. Most of my hunting gear was hand me down stuff. I didn't ever let my hunting hurt us as far as money goes. I spent too much time away but I was NEVER told NO. When I wanted to go I told her in advance. If something was going on we worked it out. I don't drink alcohol at all. I just don't like it. I also think it is a waste of money. She likes to drink beer when no one is watching.
I don't go to bars, I don't watch sports on TV. I think it is a waste of time.
I have taken her out on Friday night dates for about 20 of those 25 years. I ask her to go out every week. I call her from work and we make plans. She makes plans to go with the kids places and asks if it is ok. I make plans to do things and ask if it is ok. We talk about problems and fix what ever it is immediately. We plan a few weekends a year for us to get away together out of town. Not big stuff just go somewhere and get a room and do something for us.
She has bought me fishing stuff and hunting stuff for presents. One year she got me a SxS Browning 20ga BSS shotgun. She does NOT like to hunt and she would fish if I made her. I don't. A couple of years ago she went chukar hunting with me. She wanted to watch my GSP put the ?smooth? on the chukars. She liked watching but that is it.
She likes to run. She does 3 K?s and 5 K?s just for fun. I go with her and help her any way I can.
I don't understand it when people can't work it out. I am sure that the root of all evil is MONEY! Money is the number 1 issue that couples have to hurdle. If money is not a problem then infidelity is. I am lucky to have a wonderful wife.
Good luck with yours. Ron
 
Idahoron said:

"My wife and I just had our 25th anniversary. I don't know why we get along so well"

Oh I think you do understand. You expalained it in detail. I think those on here who are struggling with their "family issues" should just read your post.

I would dare to say that of all the good advice given, yours should be at the top!
 
For those that are not already there, I think the best advice would be DO NOT GET MARRIED!

I am not sure of the exact % of divorce, but it is close to 1:2.

If you knew you had a 50% chance of getting hit by a bus walking across the street, would you do it?
 
I have been married 21 years now. Over the years I have learned that family always comes first. That means I put my wife and daughters first in all things. It works out because they don't mind me hunting as much as I do. I include them as much as possible. My wife and I made a pact when we first got married to not buy any major purchases/toys that the whole family couldn't enjoy, and to this day we haven't. We make an effort to spend as much time together as possible. We support each other in everything we do whether we agree with it or not. All the macho talk is BS. I don't do very much without consulting my wife first. I don't consider it asking permission, I consider it communicating. For those of you who don't feel the need to run things by your woman first, you're either single and never been married, divorced, or stupid and soon to be divorced. I feel sorry for those that have wives that don't support the things you like to do. In reality it's your own damn fault. You should have figured out this difference before you said "I Do". Now that you're married, sounds to me like you need to man up and honor your vows. As for hunting and being unemployed, I think that's just common sense. If you can't figure that one out, there's nobody on this site that can help you out.


It's always an adventure!!!
 
Don't give in! Stand your ground, cause once you give up and let her win once, you will be hunting every season through MM's :-(
Mntman

"Hunting is where you prove yourself"
 
Let me ask you this question. Does your wife work? I can promise you, if she works and you don't and you are out hunting and unemployed, she's gonna be pissed. Simple logic would dictate that. I would be pissed and I'm not your wife. It's a simple matter of priorities. Either it's a priority to find a job and keep your marriage together so you can hunt in the future or it's a priority to hunt, stay unemployed and have a miserable marriage that will more than likely end in divorce. Then, once you get a job (assuming you have kids) you will be paying child support and alimony which will definately dip into your hunting funds.


It's always an adventure!!!
 
WOW! Way to bust his balls AWHOLELOTTABULL! Marriage is about love, support, compromise, and alot more. I have alot of give and take about hunting, but family is first. TINEBROTHER, what is your opinion now? Just curious!
 
Here is a wife's prospective.......

Is she a part of your hunting experience?? My guess is that with your lay off, the hunting seems more of an excuse than anything.....(no offense.) There is a lot of stress associated with that. AND she might have saw your free time as another opportunity to spend time together. . . . . . . . Incorporate her, and make sure you aren't living to hunt....Take Stinky's advice.

But more importantly, just ask her.
 
I have come to realize its all about money... I have very little. She doesnt work. I have offered to sell all my sheds I found to give her some spending money to use... A month before the season I sold my wheeler, boat, and all my toys to pay for the hunt. The only thing left I could possibly sell would be my guns.. Thats a no no. I ended up spending most of the money on Rent and other bills... I was left with not much to hunt on. I was laid off for 5 weeks and spent one in the uintas which basically cost gas to get there. I lived off of peanut butter and honey sandwhiches. I came home and she has been on edge and likes to get after me every chance I give her. I have planned this hunt since last year and she knew all about it. Every year is getting worse. I drew the line before we got married. I have cut back ALOT of hunting and other things since getting married. I think maybe I have just spent too much time at home and we are driving each other crazy! I went out this weekend for a day and half. Every year I shoot a 2x2 mulie and a cow elk just to get it over with... This year... I am holding out, I'm standing my ground! :)
BLTSO... I DO LIVE TO HUNT!(why change who I am?) :)
 
"For those that are not already there, I think the best advice would be DO NOT GET MARRIED! I am not sure of the exact % of divorce, but it is close to 1:2. If you knew you had a 50% chance of getting hit by a bus walking across the street, would you do it?"

I think I'd prefer getting hit by the bus than going through my divorce. Lazy ex was coddled and rewarded by a liberal legal system only interested in it's own finances, not equity.

I am happily single again and eagerly looking forward to the upcoming hunting season for which I worked hard and earned, unlike the ex. Nobody is telling me what to do.
 
No prob Tine.....but from personal experience....if you prioritize hunting over your family you will end up a lonely guy. I'm sure your wife wouldn't have a problem finding some other guy to take your kids hunting who would include the whole family.

You reap what you sew.
 

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