What would you do?

[Ungulate]

So I am sitting on my couch last night thinking about this 20 ounce steak that I have frozen in the freezer. I figure if I leave it out over night to thaw it would be ready to eat for lunch the next day. So I take it out and place it on the counter all covered with its little label and plastic wrap and dream all night of eating the steak with some lemon pepper.

When I wake up and walk into the kitchen I discover the wifes little black cat sitting on the counter top staring me in the eyes. As it stands up to stretch I notice the plastic wrap is gone from off of my steak. My reaction is to CLAP my hands to scold the cat, being that it is on a smoothe surfass he tries to run but instead runs in place like a sports car trying to get traction on ice. That's when I realize I made a mistake. In his effort to run he kicks my steak which he somehow managed to open and partially eat, onto the floor. As I watch it fall and land styro foam up I realize that my meal is ruined.

I peeled the steak off of the floor and it was covered in this cats black fur. I almost broke into tears. The wife just happens to be in Florida right now picking up a purebred Boston terrier puppy that she bought for $500.

What would you do?

 

[Chesterwyo]

Put the cat in a burlap sack with a couple rocks and throw it in the nearest lake.

 

[3blade]

LOL...yep

 

[bobcatbess]

I'D FEED THAT SOB ONE MORE AND LAST STEAK!!!

THE ONLY bobcat THAT KNOWS ALOT OF YOU HAVE HAD THIS IMAGE IN YOUR PEA BRAIN BUT DUE TO POOR SHOOTING TACTICS I'M STILL KICKIN!!!

 

[jodog]

Probably tell the wife, I don't know what happened to the cat, I haven't seen it in a few days.

 

[Roy]

LAST EDITED ON Aug-06-07 AT 10:01AM (MST)[p]well - I'd definitely be going solo to the nearest steak house and that cat would somehow mysteriously disappear - never to be seen again. When the wife asks about it and why you went out for steak, just tell her she better love her new little doggy and hope it is well behaved!

UTROY
Proverbs 21:19 (why I hunt!)

 

[kingfish]

I would put the steak in the fridge to thaw....

 

[larrbo]

Kat Kabobs

 

[sremim]

Take the cat for a ride down to the local chinese restaraunt and get a couple bucks for it!!!





It's Bush's fault!!!

 

[NMHUNTNUTT1]

LAMO !!! Kill that sumbich....

 

[Bambistew]

A cat AND a Boston Terrier? I'm surprised you even eat meat. It was really a tofu bugger wasn't it

 

[spitz]

I think that because you're asking us what should be done it's a lost cause. Cat or no cat, you're getting an azz beating when the wife comes home.

 

[B_F_E]

Like the dude on Family Feud use to say,

GOOD ANSWERS !!!!

 

[LESGO54]

i hate cats, so my answer would be to kill the sum beach

 

[browtine]

"I'm gonna miss that cat"

Later, Brandon

 

[coloradoelkhunter]

Well, let me tell you a story that my Dad told me about an old friend of his that had almost an identical experience. His buddy had just prepared a nice meal while his wife was away when the phone rang. He went into the other room to answer it and when he came back there sat the cat eating his meal. He walked over gently to the cat, tilted the cat's head just so, and then punched the cat as hard as he could. He got scared when he realized he had knocked the cat out cold. He spent the next few days nursing that cat back to good health and his wife was none the wiser when she got home. He later confessed how lucky he thought he was that he hadn't killed the cat. - Pretty funny.

 

[Chesterwyo]

If you don't want to kill it, hold it upside down and give it's ass a good scraping with a wire brush, then dump some gasoline on it, odds are that it will run far enough away that it won't be able to find it's way back home. You might want to wear a heavy duty leather glove.

 

[RELH]

All come on guys, the best decision would be to boot the cat out and the wife also when she came home with the rat dog. Then file for divorce and have everlasting peace.
Now you bums do not tell my wife I said that, or I will get my butt kicked big time and have to move in with Bess.

RELH

 

[BomberBlackies]

The only good cat is a flat cat. Rev the engine up!

 

[TK]

I like Cats, They taste like Chicken.

 

[ELKabong]

Now waite jus' one minute...
You threw the steak away???
WTF????
THAT is just goofy!
You wash the danged thing off, may-bee trim off where the puss ate, fry that big boy up!!
Cooking's gonna kill all the bad ju ju, I just don't see a problem!

I've seen the time I have eat'n steak out of a dirty hoof print, and bin damned glad to have it!!

 

[EdleBrock]

Dump the litter box and fill it with your wifes lingerie (no I don't know how to spell that I had to google it)...

Then, just before your wife returns put the soiled danties back in her dresser...

Your wife will take care of the discipline...

 

[EdleBrock]

Then take her out for a big steak dinner to "help her feel better"...

 

[drahthaar]

Go buy a drahthaar. Your cat problems will be taken care of, in your home and your neighborhood. And if the Boston Terrier steps out of line, it will be taken care of too.

If I had dollar for everytime I heard someone tell me they have a cat that could whip any dog.......

 

[Canoe]

If your wife was gone, what the heck was the cat doing in the house?

 

[jmcenulty]

Just like waterboys mom says, cats are of the devil.

 

[eelgrass]

Now waite jus' one minute...
You threw the steak away???
WTF????
THAT is just goofy!
You wash the danged thing off, may-bee trim off where the puss ate, fry that big boy up!!
Cooking's gonna kill all the bad ju ju, I just don't see a problem!
I've seen the time I have eat'n steak out of a dirty hoof print, and bin damned glad to have it!!

Elk-BONG, that's just the "munchies" talking!

Eel

 

[Ungulate]

Thanks for all the input... I have actually considered doing all of the above, with the exception of the wire brush and gasoline one. I will have to keep that one in mind though... Anyhow WHAT I DID... Put the cat in a cat kennel with everything that was in the litter box for a night while he meowed all night long. Putting him in the kennel was the hard part. He was scratching for dear life.

Anyhow with the Boston it's a whole new can of worms...

Did I mention we have a baby on the way too?

 

[B_F_E]

Yup, EEL, ditto,
I must say, Bonger provides me endless entertainment,
Like with general observations, most fellers, think up crazy stuff then say to themself, wow ....that was messed up, how the hell did that come to mind.... WTF
Not with Bonger, he types it up here
U da man, U might want to clean the resin out, occasionally.

 

[B_F_E]

Nice kitty.

 

[bigmoosie]

BFE your sick, all you big tough guys picking on a little #####. What if it was your ole dog different story huh?Years ago in Lake County Cal, some big tough guy shot an old ladies cat in her yard, she got her gun and killed him , law let her go when she told them her cat was all she had and that no good sob shot it. I say he got what he deserved.Let the s*** start I could care less about all you big tough guys that would pick on a 10 lb cat.

 

[Naildriver]

Cat in house and steak don't mix. Cat must stay outside where it belongs. The cat should pay with scotch tape on all 4 feet at all times when wife is not present.Its hilarious.

 

[ELKabong]

>Yup, EEL, ditto,
>I must say, Bonger provides me
>endless entertainment,
>Like with general observations, most fellers,
>think up crazy stuff then
>say to themself, wow ....that
>was messed up, how the
>hell did that come to
>mind.... WTF
>Not with Bonger, he types it
>up here
>U da man, U might want
>to clean the resin out,
>occasionally.


Wool... I hafta tell it like I see it.
Like this-here thread...
A little puss-spit isn't gonna stand in my way from a great chunk of dead cow!
Of coarse, some people say I have the digestive track of a great white shark...