CAelknuts
Moderator
- Messages
- 3,833
This was sent to me by a friend, and is worth reading.
For Democrats and Republicans, alike....
Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists,
Marxists, Obama supporters, et al:
We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole of this
latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I
know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future
generations [like, the children], but sadly, this relationship has run its course.
Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile, chalk it up
to irreconcilable differences, and go on our own ways.
Here is a model dissolution agreement:
Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each
taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides
can come to a friendly agreement with a few trade-offs.
After that it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives
can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct
and disparate tastes. We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep
them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.
Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA
and the military. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore, and Rosie O'Donnell
(you are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big
enough to move them).
We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical
companies, Wal-Mart, and Wall Street. You can have your beloved
homeless, homeboys, hippies, and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot
Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's, and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles
and give you NBC and Hollywood.
You can make nice with Iran, Palestine, and France and we'll retain the
right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the
peaceniks and war protestors. When our allies or way of life are under
assault, we'll provide them job security.
We'll keep our Judeo-Christian Values. You are welcome to Islam,
Scientology, Humanism, and Shirley McClain. You can have the U.N. But we will no longer be paying the bill (particularly since the Headquarters is in a place not likely to be on our side of the fence).
We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks, and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.
You can give everyone managed/rationed healthcare, if you can find any practicing doctors
(that is practicing, Howard Dean) who will follow to your turf (sic).
We'll continue to believe healthcare is planned for and earned and not a right.
We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and The National Anthem. I'm
sure you'll be happy to substitute something like Imagine, I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing, Kum Ba Ya or We Are the World.
We'll practice trickle down economics and you can give trickle up
poverty its best shot.
Since they so often offend you we'll keep our History, our Constitution (as written), our Name, and our Flag and promise to see to their care and feeding.
Would you agree to this? If so please pass it along to other likeminded
patriots and if you do not agree just hit delete and hang on.
In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you ANWAR on who will need
whose help in 15 years.
Sincerely,
John J. Wall
Law Student and an American
P.S. Please take Barbra Streisand.
For Democrats and Republicans, alike....
Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists,
Marxists, Obama supporters, et al:
We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole of this
latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I
know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future
generations [like, the children], but sadly, this relationship has run its course.
Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile, chalk it up
to irreconcilable differences, and go on our own ways.
Here is a model dissolution agreement:
Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each
taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides
can come to a friendly agreement with a few trade-offs.
After that it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives
can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct
and disparate tastes. We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep
them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.
Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA
and the military. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore, and Rosie O'Donnell
(you are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big
enough to move them).
We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical
companies, Wal-Mart, and Wall Street. You can have your beloved
homeless, homeboys, hippies, and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot
Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's, and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles
and give you NBC and Hollywood.
You can make nice with Iran, Palestine, and France and we'll retain the
right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the
peaceniks and war protestors. When our allies or way of life are under
assault, we'll provide them job security.
We'll keep our Judeo-Christian Values. You are welcome to Islam,
Scientology, Humanism, and Shirley McClain. You can have the U.N. But we will no longer be paying the bill (particularly since the Headquarters is in a place not likely to be on our side of the fence).
We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks, and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.
You can give everyone managed/rationed healthcare, if you can find any practicing doctors
(that is practicing, Howard Dean) who will follow to your turf (sic).
We'll continue to believe healthcare is planned for and earned and not a right.
We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and The National Anthem. I'm
sure you'll be happy to substitute something like Imagine, I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing, Kum Ba Ya or We Are the World.
We'll practice trickle down economics and you can give trickle up
poverty its best shot.
Since they so often offend you we'll keep our History, our Constitution (as written), our Name, and our Flag and promise to see to their care and feeding.
Would you agree to this? If so please pass it along to other likeminded
patriots and if you do not agree just hit delete and hang on.
In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you ANWAR on who will need
whose help in 15 years.
Sincerely,
John J. Wall
Law Student and an American
P.S. Please take Barbra Streisand.
