Think about this:

[slamdunk]

1. Cows
2. The Constitution
3. The Ten Commandments


COWS
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the state of Washington? And, they tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow..


THE CONSTITUTION
They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq .. why don't we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it has worked for over 200 years, and we're not using it anymore.


THE 10 COMMANDMENTS
The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse is this -- you cannot post 'Thou Shalt Not Steal' 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery' and 'Thou Shall Not Lie' in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians ... it creates a hostile work environment.

 

[overton]

Ain't that the truth.

 

[BoneJunkie]

AMEN to that. Thanks, that is right on the money!!!

 

[rugarm77]

LOL,,,,, cows,,, LOL

 

[Longun]

good one!!!!....I mean 3!!!

 

[cbeard]

Being a lawyer I get a little tired of the lawyer jokes but I usually blow them off. And I share alot of your sentiments.But the irony of talking about our wonderful Constiution and the "really smart guys" who drafted it while in the very next paragraph dissing lawyers and judges is a little much.

Most of those "really smart guys" were lawyers and what goes on down at the courthouse every day is that Constituion and your freedom (paid for in blood) in action.I'm sworn to uphold that Consttution that protects your right to speak (whether you have a clue what you are talking about or not).

Anyway, have fun but if your a$$ ever gets in a crack you might view your lawyer and a fair judge in a little different light...

 

[stinkystomper]

You know, I've had a lawyer on retainer all year, and last year, and..... hey I can't remember the year I didn't need a lawyer. You know, every time I get around two lawyers and you can't talk to one cuz noone trusts noone else I get a little sick. I wouldn't do that job for all the money in the world. I guess I just like the old fashioned system of your word is gold. You know what really sucks about lawyers? I've told my lawyers more than enough times I can't stand them. You know what they do? Nothing! All they do is keep taking my money and do what I pay them to do. Kinda like a prostitue! Please enlighten me and let me know how you are different. But only do so knowing this isn't work related and you don't get paid $300/hr for answering my question!



He who stomps the greatest stinky wins!

 

[ClorideRUS]

cbeard! I'll bet it's making you nuts trying to figure out who to bill for your post.

RUS

 

[cbeard]

Stinky & RUS-

You both show your true character in trying to insult mine when you don't know the first thing about me.BTW Stinky I don't have the time or the inclination to compare cojones or pocketbooks (or anything else for that matter) with you but suffice it to say I wouldn't work for you at any price my friend.And you're right, any lawyer that would probably is a whore...

It's too bad you guys are so quick with the BS because if you took a little time to know me you would probably find we've got a lot more in common than we have differences.

 

[elkantlers]

>Being a lawyer I get a
>little tired of the lawyer
>jokes but I usually blow
>them off. And I share
>alot of your sentiments.But the
>irony of talking about our
>wonderful Constiution and the "really
>smart guys" who drafted it
>while in the very next
>paragraph dissing lawyers and judges
>is a little much.
>
>Most of those "really smart guys"
>were lawyers and what goes
>on down at the courthouse
>every day is that Constituion
>and your freedom (paid for
>in blood) in action.I'm sworn
>to uphold that Consttution that
>protects your right to speak
>(whether you have a clue
>what you are talking about
>or not).
>
>Anyway, have fun but if your
>a$$ ever gets in a
>crack you might view your
>lawyer and a fair judge
>in a little different light...
>

Lawyers aren't what they used to be.

 

[slamdunk]

cbeard-
Lighten up for heavens sake, it's not directed at YOU personally in anyway shape or form!

My goodness, if i took all the jokes about guides and my other passion of competitive bodybuilding seriously, i'd not have a friend in the world!

And your quote here-
"It's too bad you guys are so quick with the BS because if you took a little time to know me you would probably find we've got a lot more in common than we have differences."

That can easily be flipped the other way....RUS and Stinky are characters with great senses of humor, time should be taken to know them as well, prior to being judged

 

[Roy]

Not all lawyers are bad people but it sure the hell is fun to laugh at them!

Lighten up dude - don't take it so seriously.


UTROY
Proverbs 21:19 (why I hunt!)

 

[nickman]

Hey!!!!!!!!Easy boys, it's only 98% of lawyers that give the rest a bad name....

 

[1911]

Cbeard, Lighten up a little bit man. Sheesh.. Do what I did...get a job where everyone loves to see you.

 

[D13er]

>Hey!!!!!!!!Easy boys, it's only 98% of
>lawyers that give the rest
>a bad name....

ain't that truth Nick.....cbeard might be the nicest most honest SOB on the planet.....you know what happens to a lawyer when he takes viagra??....



he gets taller



great post/pic, thanks for sharing

JB

 

[mozey]

ROTHFLMAO...d13er. Oh man, my sides are hurting...

 

[stinkystomper]

Don't worry mr lawyer you can always repent and ask god for forgiveness. Heck, Some of the best known prophets in the bible were murderers and god forgave them. But then again I don't remember hearing of any forgiven lawyers in the bible.

He who stomps the greatest stinky wins!

 

[D13er]

They are all azzholes....till you need one



great post/pic, thanks for sharing

JB

 

[cbeard]

Look guys I'm as easygoing as they come and I understand the lawyer jokes come with the territory and that it's mostly all in good fun.I could tell you some that would probably have you peein' your pants.

But, as always, some cross the line-and Stinky saying lawyers are prostitutes and a few other comments on here cross my personal line. Just fill in the blank with your chosen profession,have somebody come on here and insult it by calling you a whore who eats other peoples' $hit for money, and maybe,just maybe you can see a little bit of where I'm coming from.

Just defending my profession which is a noble one whether you think so or not.That's all.....

Over and out and back to other topics for me.

 

[slamdunk]

Not to personally knock lawyers, i have used one and got great rusults, but all these posts to my thread made me think about one of my all time favotite movies...."The Devils Advocate".

How ironic that the best lawyer in the country that had never lost a case in his career ended up being Satan.....}>

 

[BuckSnort]

Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
A: Professional courtesy.

Q: What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
A: Not enough sand.

If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save one of them, would you go to lunch or read the paper?

Disclaimer:
The poster does not take any responsibility for any hurt or bad feelings. Reading threads poses inherent risks. The poster would like to remind readers to make sure they have a functional sense of humor before they visit any discussion board.

 

[completesportsman]

Hey BuckSnort,
Stinky and RUS should have a disclaimer like yours! LOL!

____________________________________________________________________
"You can recover from a tough hunt, you can't recover from quitting" - Cameron R. Hanes