The Worst Pick Up Lines

[KILLSHOT]

So last night at the bar while my girlfriend and I were playing our usual weds night poker game with friends she walks over to the bar to get us drinks and some 50 year old (no offense to the older guys out there but keep in mind my girl is 22) haggard looking guy says to her "what are you doing in a place like this sweetie? you should be out in hollywood" my girlfriend just smiles and thanks him for the complimant and turns to leave with our drinks and then he says "I don't want to seem forward but my wife just passed away three months ago and I would really like you to come over to my house sometime" and then he trys to hand her his card but of course she said no thanks and walked away. It gave us at the poker table a good round of jokes for a while when she came back. Just wondering whats the worst pick up lines you guys have used/ heard and how it turned out?

-KILLSHOT Productions Guides & Outfitters-

 

[B_BOP_A_LU_LU]

Did she tell you what else I gave her?
(Haggard looking guy huh?)
Ain't had a compliment like that since QTPie's!

Oh,by the way,nice signature pic!
I think justr is gonna try & make it bigger & clearer tonight!}>}>}>


I love not acting my age,
Damn I love my NASCAR race,
And Hell yes I love my Truck!

 

[KILLSHOT]

LOL.....she said you tried but it took too long for the little blue pills to kick in so she got bored and walked away.

J86 and I will try to get it a little bigger for ya here in a little bit so it's easier for you to see with those old haggard eyes



-KILLSHOT Productions Guides & Outfitters-

 

[feddoc]

My roommate in the Navy once asked a girl if she would like her belly button tickled from the inside. And it worked.

Compromise, hell! ... If freedom is right and tyranny is wrong, why should those who believe in freedom treat it as if it were a roll of bologna to be bartered a slice at a time?

 

[justr_86]

Lol.

This one really did work.

"It will make your hair shiny."

 

[Feleno]

"My pants would look great on your bedroom floor."
Actually its worked twice that I can recall so it can't be all that bad.

 

[IdahoSmitty]

Heres a few:

Do you want to go out for pizza and f&^K? what you don't like pizza?

How many beers is it going to take me to get you home? Or would you just like the money?

What screws like a tiger and winks? (she says what) then you wink at her.

 

[ELKHUNTER66]

LAST EDITED ON Aug-19-10 AT 10:25PM (MST)[p]you know what would look good on you? ME Nice Legs What Time Do they open? You Remind Me of My old chevy Frame Looks Good But box is Shot

 

[nickman]

"For a fat girl, you don't sweat much!"

 

[never_catch]

I lost my virginity years ago...can I have yours??

~Z~

 

[RV]

Does this smell like Chloroform to you?

 

[kawboy]

A guy I know would go talk to a woman at the bar, if she acted snotty he would just step back a few feet and use his loud voice and say TWENTY BUCKS ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?!

Its the most wonderful time of the year!

 

[whiskeybent]

I'm starting up a new t.v show it's called so you think you can f--k! Want to be my first contestant?

 

[TAGATTRACTER]

Here are a few more.

I'll give you a nickel to tickle my pickle.

Do you work at Subway ? Cause you gave me a footlong.

Nice Boobs , mind if I feel them?

Do you know how to use a Whip ?

 

[GotBowAz]

Do you have a mirror in your pants?? I can see myself in there!

That actually worked once!


GBA

 

[completesportsman]

You look finern' new set uh snow tires!

 

[slickrock]

LAST EDITED ON Aug-20-10 AT 08:01PM (MST)[p]My favorite:

He says " ya wanna f'?"

She says " ya anybody but you "

Honestly KILLSHOT I had no idea she was your girlfriend. I feel really bad about this. If she wants her panties back I could fed-ex them.

Dang this is embarrassing.

Slick

 

[TheFever]

LAST EDITED ON Aug-20-10 AT 11:26PM (MST)[p]2 co-workers and myself for lunch went to Jamba juice. 1 co-worker is a dude my age, and the other is a 23 year old 100 lb hottie who does figure competitions and has a rack. The guy and I had ordered and sat down all while she was asking the worker there about power booster this or that. So she gets her ace in line finally and is standing there when some doucher comes walking in and gets in line behind her, and follows with the mandatory looking her up and down. He tries to spark up a winning conversation with her because he somehow how has some reason to believe she'd care about anything he said. Anyway, when she sat back down by us she said that his opening line was "You have really nice veins." Supposedly he noticed this because he worked in a hospital, and wanted to throw that impressive fact in too. Swing batta batta swing.....and you're out.

>>>---->
For the love of the game

 

[nickman]

Here's one that will never work.

"Hi there, my name is HomerJ"....."No, I don't know why I stink"

 

[Zigga]

Trying to imagine how ugly these girls are that these lines work on. And you guys are admitting that these work? Hard to imagine who's more desparate.....or ugly. Let's see pics.

 

[slickrock]

Well this one worked... I said hi I'm a Zigga! She said your place or mine?

Slick

 

[polarbear]

LAST EDITED ON Aug-23-10 AT 00:55AM (MST)[p]"Get in the car and nobody gets hurt!"
"I bet you $100 that I can make you poop yourself"
"I bet you can really put it away, you hungry?"
Walk up to the ugliest girl at the table and tell her :I'm practicing to be a wing man, wanna hang out?"
Eric

Ultra liberal, wolf loving, illiterate, gay, hippie midgets on crack piss me off!!!!

 

[NVBighorn]

Sancho told me this one works every time.
"What time does your husband go to work?"

 

[Gator]

Hey I will take you to breakfast in the morning, should I call you or just tap you on the shoulder.


"I have found if you go the extra mile it's Never crowded".

 

[TripleK]

When I was a waitress in college some older, haggard dude said to me

"Ummm...there is a problem with my order. I said I wanted shrimp as my server and I wanted to eat Jennifer."

He almost got a drink poured on his head. He asked me to the movies all the time after that too. Good thing I had that imaginary boyfriend, huh? I always got hit on my older, haggard dudes!

 

[LongRangeBangin]

Honey, as long as I have a face, you have a place to sit................

 

[Longun]

A gal in college once told me this one....Nice Buns, do you serve a hot dog with that shake?.......it didn't work....

 

[OutdoorWriter]

Okay, so it wasn't actually a pick-up line, but it could be.

True story:

In the 1970s, my wife and I went on a Windjammer Cruise in the Bahamas. I knew beforehand that the infamous Marilyn Chambers would be on board. At the time, she was married to a guy that had been once married to Linda Lovelace of Deepthroat fame.

So before I left home, I had a t-shirt printed up with the slogan, "I choked Linda Lovelace."

At breakfast one morning, I wore the shirt. We were seated at a table next to Chambers and her husband, Chuck. When she saw my shirt, she immediately offered a trade for the shirt she had on. It had a pretty photo of the Grand Canyon and said, "I went down on a mule at the Grand Canyon."

So...right there over ham and eggs, she stripped off her shirt and now bare-breasted, handed it to me. I did the same with my shirt but for some reason, didn't get the same attention. :-(

I still have that shirt tucked away in a drawer somewhere.

TONY MANDILE

How To Hunt Coues Deer

 

[polarbear]

That's cool!
Eel once exchanged dolphin shorts with Richard Simmons.
Eric

Ultra liberal, wolf loving, illiterate, gay, hippie midgets on crack piss me off!!!!