The Pretzel Hold

E

ELKabong

Guest
A Russian and a Newfoundland wrestler were set to square off for the Olympic Gold medal.


Before the final match, the Newfie wrestler's trainer came to him and said, 'Now, don't forget all the research we've done on this Russian. He's never lost a match because of this pretzel hold he has. Whatever you do, do not let him get you in that hold! If he does, you're finished'; the Newfie nodded in acknowledgment.

As the match started, the Newfie and the Russian circled each other several times, looking for an opening. All of a sudden, the Russian lunged forward, grabbing the Newfie and wrapping him up in the dreaded pretzel hold. A sigh of disappointment arose from the crowd and the trainer buried his face in his hands, for he knew all was lost. He couldn't watch the inevitable happen.

Suddenly, there was a scream, then a cheer from the crowd and the trainer raised his eyes just in time to watch the Russian go flying up in the air. His back hit the mat with a thud and the Newfoundlander collapsed on top of him making the pin and winning the match.

The trainer was astounded. When he finally got his wrestler alone, He asked, 'How did you ever get out of that hold? No one has ever done it before!'

The wrestler answered 'Well, I was ready to give up when he got me in that hold but at the last moment, I opened my eyes and saw this pair of testicles right in front of my face. I had nothing to lose so with my last ounce strength I stretched out my neck and bit those babies just as hard as I could.'

So the trainer exclaimed, 'That's what finished him off!' 'Not really. You'd be amazed how strong you get when you bite your own nuts.'
 
I was being held captive by a herd of Amazonian women in a remote area of North-eastern Utah...
I was able to finally tunnel my way free using a discarded stiletto heel shoe 'an a butternife.
Man, was I bushed.
 
ELK-A-BONGER!!!

I GUESS YOU HAD TO MAKE A TRIP TO NE UTAH JUST TO LEARN THE REAL MEANING OF BUSHED HUH???

WHERE THE HELL YOU BEEN???

THIS IS MY NEW GUN,YOU MAY NOT LIKE IT,YOU'LL LIKE IT A HELL OF A LOT LESS WHEN IT HITS ITS DESTINATION!!!
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THE ONLY bobcat THAT KNOWS ALOT OF YOU HAVE HAD THIS IMAGE IN YOUR PEA BRAIN BUT DUE TO POOR SHOOTING TACTICS I'M STILL KICKIN!!!
 
Hey guys!
Jus' been laying low.

Nice to be missed... (glad yer scopes are all off!)
 

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