caelkhnter
Very Active Member
- Messages
- 1,526
TFinal's Work Before wildlife photography
The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use asurrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father wasto arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, "Well, I'm offnow. The man should be here soon." Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographerhappened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning,Ma'am", he said, "I've come to..." "Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, "I've beenexpecting you." "Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well, that's good. Did youknow babies are my specialty?" "Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have aseat" After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?" "Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on thecouch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living roomfloor is fun You can really spread out there." "Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry andme!" "Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if wetry several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles,I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results." "My, that's a lot!", gasped Mrs. Smith. "Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be Inand out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that." "Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith quietly. The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of hisbaby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus," he said. "Oh, my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat. "And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider theirmother was so difficult to work with." "She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith. "Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get thejob done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get agood look" "Four and five deep?" said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement. "Yes", the photographer replied. "And for more than three hours, too.The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardlyconcentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots.Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just hadto pack it all in." Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they actually chewed on your,uh...equipment?" "It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripodand we can get to work right away." "Tripod?" "Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's muchtoo big to be held in the hand very long." Mrs. Smith fainted!!
The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use asurrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father wasto arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, "Well, I'm offnow. The man should be here soon." Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographerhappened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning,Ma'am", he said, "I've come to..." "Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, "I've beenexpecting you." "Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well, that's good. Did youknow babies are my specialty?" "Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have aseat" After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?" "Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on thecouch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living roomfloor is fun You can really spread out there." "Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry andme!" "Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if wetry several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles,I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results." "My, that's a lot!", gasped Mrs. Smith. "Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be Inand out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that." "Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith quietly. The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of hisbaby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus," he said. "Oh, my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat. "And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider theirmother was so difficult to work with." "She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith. "Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get thejob done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get agood look" "Four and five deep?" said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement. "Yes", the photographer replied. "And for more than three hours, too.The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardlyconcentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots.Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just hadto pack it all in." Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they actually chewed on your,uh...equipment?" "It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripodand we can get to work right away." "Tripod?" "Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's muchtoo big to be held in the hand very long." Mrs. Smith fainted!!
