SureShot's 2008 Annual Report

SureShot

SureShot

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As we are all painfully aware, some major milestones have been reached at MonsterMuleys.com this year. I noticed I was also creeping up on the significant milestone of 400 posts, so when I got to 399 I decided to lay low for a little while and wait for just the right opportunity to hit you with big 4-0-0.

Everything was going great until one day I absentmindedly congratulated somebody on their post/photo and wasted my big opportunity. I vowed to never let that happen again, so, from now on, every post will be significant for me.
 
So, to celebrate my 401st--wait, now it's my 402nd?post, and since it's getting close to the end of the year, I thought I would share my annual report with you. As most of you know, I'm a pretty big deal in the hunting world. I'm not here to brag about all of the huge bucks and bulls I've killed or the tons of money I make off of my hunting videos, guiding services, public appearance fees and endorsement contracts, but it is important to establish my credibility before I share some of my favorite hunting tips and tricks with you. Because, really, that's what it's all about: helping complete strangers on the Internet become better hunters and raising the level of competition in my favorite hunting spots so I don't get so bored with hunting these mossy old monsters all by myself. And the children, it's also all about the children. They are the future of our sport. And good looking women riding horses on saddles that are a little bit too small for them. It's all about them too.
 
A lot of people have asked me how old that buck was. It's obvious that he's a majestic old monarch, but some people have mistakenly guessed he was a 4-year-old buck because he had 4 points per side. I just want to dispel that myth right now. You can't judge a buck?s age by the number of points it has. I watched one buck over several years go from
- 14? 60-class 2-point as a yearling
- 26? 180-class 4-point as a 2-year-old
- 32? 200-class 5x6 as a 3-year-old
- 34? 160-class 3-point as a 4-year-old
- 33? 240-class 8x10 as a 5-year-old
- 38? 235-class 8x9 as a 6-year old

I could tell he had probably reached his peak and was on the downhill side, plus he had a limp, so I decided to put him out of his misery that year and save him from a long life of disappointment and pain as the more dominant bucks in the herd started to whoop on him.
 
As another example of how you can't rely on points to determine age, I once found a 26? 4-point buck on a scouting trip during the summer months. I returned to that same hill later in the year during the rifle hunt and saw that same deer. He had shed his velvet and was now a 34? 5-point. It all depends on the water and feed conditions. And habitat. And whether or not there are wolves in the area. That's a big factor, too.
 
Speaking of wolves, I saw more wolves this year than I ever have. They?re getting to be a real problem and I was very excited when they were taken off the endangered species list earlier this year. I spent the next 96 days straight in Wyoming implementing my own wolf-control program. I killed over 200 wolves during that time?wolves that will never kill another deer or elk again, may their souls rest in peace?but I didn't bother reporting any of them because I didn't want to cause any backlash from the greenies. But, I did use their pelts to carpet my entire house from wall to wall. It looks pretty cool.
 
Anyway, what else did I do this year? Oh yeah, I found a pretty nice bull while scouting on the Monroe this year.

spidey.jpg


I made the mistake of sending his pics to a few friends and, before you knew it, the mountain had turned into a complete zoo.

spideyzoo.jpg


I hate hunting with crowds, so I changed my plans and bought a spike tag instead.
 
The elk hunt turned out pretty good. I discovered that if you hunt during the spike-only season, you don't have nearly as much competition for the really big bulls. I ended up taking a 440-class 5-point at 80 yards with a traditional recurve bow. I would have shared pictures, but he was so big that the photos ended up being too large to upload. It was the hunt of a lifetime that I was fortunate enough to share with all of my closest friends and family. And let's face it, that's really what hunting is all about. And the children. Never forget the children. They are our future.
 
My only complaint about my elk hunt was that I inadvertently ruined my best buddy?s hunt. While I was on my hunt in Utah, he was hunting elk up on Pat Whitworth?s place in area 71 in Idaho. He was sneaking in on a huge herd bull and was just about in position to make a shot. At the same time, I happened to be doing some calling to locate a bull for me and the whole herd?including his prize bull?took off running towards my call. Sorry, bud. There?s always next year.
 
Well, I better get back to work. It's never right to steal from your employer, but especially in these tough economic times, it's important to do everything we can to get our country back on track so we can continue to enjoy this passion we call hunting. Merry Christmas or Happy Hanukkah or Happy Festivus or whatever it is you happen to be celebrating this year.

May all of your wildest dreams come true!
 
SureShot- you have done it again. Again- I had to step away from my office to avoid being busted for laughing to hard. Good stuff.
 
Thanks for the report! It's just good to know there are great hunters around here. The post total isn't really that important.

A mutual friend told me about your Idaho elk hunt. He said the hunt was a thing of beauty.

You're my idol!

Eel

President Obama and Congress should leave gun rights alone. It's above their pay grade.
 
As always, nicely done!

I look forward to the SS posts. You do have a nack for the tongue-in-cheek commentary. Only thing that would make it better is the dudes who take you for real!
 

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