S
slickrock
Guest
Johnstown, PA: Local and state police scoured the hills outside rural
> Johnstown, Pennsylvania, after reports of three animal rights activists
> going missing after attempting to protest the wearing of leather at a
> large
> motorcycle gang rally this weekend. Two others, previously reported
> missing,
> were discovered by fast food workers "duct taped inside several fast food
>
> restaurant dumpsters," according to police officials.
>
> "Something just went wrong," said a still visibly shaken organizer of the
>
> protest. "Something just went horribly, horribly, wrong." The organizer
> said a
> group of concerned animal rights activist groups, "growing tired of
> throwing
> fake blood and shouting profanities at older women wearing leather or fur
> coats,"
> decided to protest the annual motorcycle club event "in a hope to show
> them our
> outrage at their wanton use of leather in their clothing and motor bike
> seats."
> "In fact," said the organizer. "Motorcycle gangs are one of the biggest
> abusers
> of wearing leather, and we decided it was high time that we let them know
> that
> we disagree with them using it... Ergo, they should stop."
>
> According to witnesses, protesters arrived at the event in a vintage
> 1960's
> era Volkswagen van and began to pelt the gang members with balloons
> filled
> with red colored water, simulating blood, and shouting "you're murderers"
> to
> passers by. This, evidently, is when the brouhaha began.
>
>
> "They peed on me!!!" charged one activist. "They grabbed me, said I
> looked
> like I was French, started calling me 'La Trene', and duct taped me to a
> tree so they could pee on me all day!"
>
>
> "I.. I was trying to show my outrage at a man with a heavy leather
> jacket.
> And, he... he didn't even care. I called him a murderer, and all he said
> was, 'You can't prove that.' Next thing I know is he forced me to ride on
>
> the back of his motorcycle all day, and not left me off, because his girl
>
> friend was out of town and I was almost a woman."
>
>
> Still others claimed they were forced to eat hamburgers and hot dogs
> under
> duress. Those who resisted were allegedly held down while several bikers
> "farted on their heads."
>
>
> Police officials declined comments on any leads or arrests due to the
> ongoing nature of the investigation, however, organizers for the
> motorcycle
> club rally expressed "surprise" at the allegations.
>
>
> "That's preposterous, " said on high ranking member of the biker
> organizing
> committee. "We were having a party, and these people showed up and were
> very
> rude to us. They threw things at us, called us names, and tried to ruin
> the
> entire event. So, what did we do? We invited them to the party! What
> could
> be more friendly than that? You know, just because we are all members of
> motorcycle clubs does not mean we do not care about inclusiveness.
> Personally, I think it shows a lack of character for them to be saying
> such
> nasty things about us after we bent over backwards to make them feel
> welcome."
>
>
> When confronted with the allegations of force feeding the activists meat,
>
> using them as ad hoc latrines, leaving them incapacitated in fast food
> restaurant dumpsters, and 'farting on their heads,' the organizer
> declined
> to comment in detail.
>
>
> "That's just our secret handshake," assured the organizer.
Slick
