Please read - Urgent

[archerelk]

Please read.... This is the most important post I will ever make.

Today I had something that hit closer to home than could ever be imagined. I know the response of most members here, please don't respond with hostility, or political positions. Your action is simple.

Today I had a member of my staff find out her son was molested. without going into details that will only inflame us, I want to focus on the important pieces.

I recently moved to a very religious community. While driving her to pick up her son she made a comment that all things happen for a reason. I did not comprehend this when she said it, and responded that sometimes bad people do bad things.

Tonight I came home and my wife and I talked with our children about what happened. It hit me that maybe all things do happen for a reason. Maybe what happened with her family is a wakeup call to all of us that feel invincable. We talked with our kids in detail and honesty that I have never done before. If we prevent this from happening to two kids, then it was for a reason.

Please talk with your children. It can, and does happen. If you have never been affected wake up and realize you could. Don't wait to be involved. Please take the time to talk with your children, grandchildren, or parents. Talk in a level of honesty you have never talked before.

Since I can find no good in what happened, please make something good come of it. Please protect your children. Email anyone in your list to talk with their kids. It can't prevent everything, but it can help. Turn a tragedy into to something with meaning.

Don't respond with hate, we all know how we would want to handle this. Please respond with support and action. I want to see 200 posts that I can show her letting her know there was a reason. We all think we know what we would do if this happened, but are all sheltered enough to keep arms length. Make a difference and talk to your kids in a way you never have.

Email everyone you know and ask them to do the same. Our goal is protecting two children. We all talk big, but it starts here. Anger is how we respond, compassion and honesty is how we prevent.

http://www.troymessenger.com/news/2010/may/14/man-charged-sodomy/

Archerelk

 

[eelgrass]

We have had that talk many times with our daughter and our grand children. Thanks for the reminder, and we will certainly remind everyone again.

Our prayers are sent to the victums and their families. You are not alone.

Eel

 

[feddoc]

My own personal story about molestaion.

My wife and I adopted a kid. He was 4 at the time (10 now) and had been in 12 foster homes between 2 and 4.

At some point during his therapy, his doc wanted to try showing him a series of pictures and asking his reaction. Austin was 7 at the time. The pictures began with innocent stuff..picnics, school yard fun, etc. They then began to progress to show things such as boys and girls together, moms and dads giving babies a bath, going to the doctor and so on. At one point in the pictures, they depicted a mom and dad talking with a young girl. The boy was in the background eating dinner. The next picture showed the mom and dad on their way out the door and in the foreground was the female babysitter with her hand in the little boys pants.

At that point, my son curled up in the fetal position and began crying. It was then that I realized that at some point in his life some female had molested him. Counseling will be a part of his life for a long time to come.


Do things really happen for a reason? Sometimes it seems that way. I do know that Austin began to improve after he and I had a simple talk. One day after we took him home he and I sat down and talked about simple things. Cars, dogs, baseball, etc. At some point in our converstation, I looked at him and told him that in many ways I was glad that those foster homes didn't keep him. He said 'daddy, why? they were mean to me.' I told him that if things weren't the way they were that I would have never had the chance to have such a wonderful son and that things do happen for a reason. In our case, that reason was that he could be my boy and I could be his dad.



Compromise, hell! ... If freedom is right and tyranny is wrong, why should those who believe in freedom treat it as if it were a roll of bologna to be bartered a slice at a time?

 

[cjboz]

My sympathy gos out to all victims including this little guy. People that sick and demented are not fit to live in society. Without going in to detail on how to dispose of these scumbag sobs I will refrain. God will take pleasure giving them to the devil!!

 

[troutsniffer]

My kids get the talk every year right before school starts. It's uncomfortable, but I think it is so important to talk in depth and openly to them. Some people never recover from when they were sexually abused, usually by someone they know and should be able to trust.

 

[slamdunk]

My sympathy goes out to any and all families faced with this type of situation, this hits very close to home for me as well.
But......when i hear that "things happen for a reason" especially from a religious aspect, it infuriates me.
Molestations don't happen as a sacrifice so it is a reminder for the rest of us to protect our children.
Please tell me your not blaming God.







http://i764.photobucket.com/albums/xx290/slamdunk_04/E1x1BWINV1-2.jpg[/IMG]

 

[Cali4x4]

Thanks for the reminder to talk with the kids about more than just the bucks and the does.

 

[archerelk]

As I said, I agree not all things happen for a reason, just want to give her something good from something so freaking tragic. Not blaming God, looking to God for strength.

 

[KBKILLER]

great post and a great reminder. hopefully something like this will AT LEAST get the same amount of replys as any other post on the campfire

 

[rugarm77]

It is very sad that these types of things happen. I hate to say it but this goes on a-lot more than you can imagine. For those of you who think it could not happen to your child don't be fooled IT CAN!!!

These type of sexual predators who prey on children are just sick period. I deal with a-lot of these types in jail. They come in all variations from parents, step parents, friends of the family, people in trusted positions, grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles, and foster parents.

The real slap in the face is the punishment does not fit the crime. Education and communication is the best way to prevent your child from becoming a victim.

 

[Buck]

We have talks with our girls on a regular basis. I pray nothing like this ever happens to them. I will have a very hard time not taking the law into my own hands if it does. I have seen too many of these s.o.b.'s get away with it.
4 cases of molestation have happened in a large family that I know, and ALL were Uncles molesting nieces. One of the nieces was molested by two different uncles. No charges were ever filed against any of them.

"The value of any trophy from the field depends not on its size but on the magnitude of the effort expended in its pursuit." ~ Aldo Leopold

 

[alp75]

Thanks for the post.

I think you are right. It is important to try and make something positive and constructive out of something so tragic and destructive. My prayers go out to the family.

It is important to revisit this topic with our boys. Thanks for the reminder.