Mother-in-law Madness...Help!

Forthewall · Sep 6, 2016

So I'm at the time of life when the youngest ones will soon be off to college. I've waited 20+ years to return to normal sex life, no more quiet quickies, no more "are they in the shower", nope those days are soon to be over I am less than a yard away from the proverbial empty nest finish line.

Came home early the other day to find my Mother-in-law at the house. After pulling into the garage I sat in my car for a minute wondering what in the hell was she doing here, at this time on a weekday?

After a few deep breaths I came inside and was greeted with the following words from my Mother-in-law. "Well, I've decided to that I am going to move in with you, isn't that great?

Before I could choke up an answer all I could see was that finish line tape slowly moving backwards until it completely vanished from my mind's eye. I hesitantly looked at my wife and with every fiber of my being utter the words, "That's great news".

I just instructed my 2 youngest unwed adult children to not make the same mistake I did. Do not marry an only child, instead marry the youngest of 3 or 4 children to avoid this situation. Ugh!

elkassassin · Sep 6, 2016

Serves You Right FTW!

Just don't Tell Ms FTW why you're Hiding your MIL's Hearing Aids!

Besides!

I Heard Your Youngest Daughter Braggin to one of Her Friends the other day:

The Ole Man Must be getting Old!

Said She'd held a Glass up to the Bedroom Door & Figured you didn't Last 5 Minutes!

LMAO!

[font color="blue"]She put a Big F.U. in My Future,Ya She's got a
way with Words[/font]

RELH · Sep 6, 2016

Just grin, bear it, and figure out that the wife was in on the decision long before the mother in law arrived. If you do not grin and bear it, divorces are not cheap.
karma paying you back maybe?

RELH

PleaseDear · Sep 6, 2016

'The Kiss of Death' for sure!

Robb

DeerMadness · Sep 6, 2016

LAST EDITED ON Sep-07-16 AT 04:52AM (MST)[p]And you are going to let it happen?

DW · Sep 6, 2016

There's a reason FTW wears tennis shoes.

hhunter23 · Sep 7, 2016

to not let it happen will equal to a no sex life, because a woman and their mother is a bond that you don't try to separate. like it was said grin and bare it. good luck with that.... im not envious of your situation with the MIL.

"Shoot Straight"

Gator · Sep 7, 2016

You can grin BUT I doubt if you will get to bare it much.
Put her in the farthest bedroom from your's.

"I have found if you go the extra mile it's Never crowded".
>[Font][Font color = "green"]Life member of
>the MM green signature club.[font/]

Jagerdad · Sep 7, 2016

It could be...far worse.

Enjoy Family Life

Homer · Sep 7, 2016

lol....pretend she's not there....hell...work on a mother and daughter tag team.

eelgrass · Sep 7, 2016

Is she a Democrat? Or a Republican? Is she going to put a Trump sign on the lawn? I hope you like watching Fox News.

I see many more sculling/hunting/fishing trips in your future.

Mbogo · Sep 7, 2016

Just walk around the house naked the first week.
That should solve the problem.

264mag · Sep 7, 2016

Does she like monster muleys ?

eelgrass · Sep 7, 2016

"lol....pretend she's not there....hell...work on a mother and daughter tag team."

Score some "Pink Panty Dropper" weed to aid in that pursuit.

Forthewall · Sep 7, 2016

LAST EDITED ON Sep-07-16 AT 01:23PM (MST)[p]You may have something on the whole karma thing there RELH.

My MIL is from Chattanooga, she is a 4'11" 73 year old female version of RELH. Needless to say I had Direct TV out this morning to wire her room.

I've known this day was going to come for the last 20 years which is fine. I was just kinda hoping at the very least I could get a year or two of just me and my wife.

My wife's cool, we have agreed to give it a go with one caveat. At 6 months if things don't work out for either us or her we will move her into an apartment in a Senior Living Community.

Given all the ridiculous names on strains of weed Eel, there probably real is something called Pink Panty Dropper. As for tag teaming, if my MIL looked like Raquel Welch maybe. However my MIL looks more like a less attractive version of a 90 year Don Rickles, but not quite in as good of shape.

Homer · Sep 7, 2016

A man in his 20's and a few of his friend were at a bar for drinks. A lady in her mid-late 40's sent him a drink, and introduced herself.
Never hit on by a cougar before, our guy in his 20s let her buy him a few more drinks throughout the night as he was enjoying her company. She made it clear that she thought they should go back to her place which was just around the corner.
At first the man was reluctant, but his friends kept encouraging him to do it. In a final attempt to lure him back, the lady offered him some mother daughter action if he would join her.
Excited, he relents and follows the lady's lead back to her house. Once they get home, she lights some candles, puts some sensual music on and starts passionately kissing him
Looking around for the daughter and not seeing anyone, the man asks "aren't you forgetting someone?"
The lady apologizes, and walks over to the stairs and yells up "hey mom I've got one!"

elkassassin · Sep 7, 2016

>A man in his 20's and
>a few of his friend
>were at a bar for
>drinks. A lady in her
>mid-late 40's sent him a
>drink, and introduced herself.
>Never hit on by a cougar
>before, our guy in his
>20s let her buy him
>a few more drinks throughout
>the night as he was
>enjoying her company. She made
>it clear that she thought
>they should go back to
>her place which was just
>around the corner.
>At first the man was reluctant,
>but his friends kept encouraging
>him to do it. In
>a final attempt to lure
>him back, the lady offered
>him some mother daughter action
>if he would join her.
>
>Excited, he relents and follows the
>lady's lead back to her
>house. Once they get home,
>she lights some candles, puts
>some sensual music on and
>starts passionately kissing him
>Looking around for the daughter and
>not seeing anyone, the man
>asks "aren't you forgetting someone?"
>
>The lady apologizes, and walks over
>to the stairs and yells
>up "hey mom I've got
>one!"

Thanks Manny!

But I Like it!

LMMFAO!

[font color="blue"]She put a Big F.U. in My Future,Ya She's got a
way with Words[/font]

RELH · Sep 7, 2016

FW, if she is that conservative, she might convert you from being too darn liberal. Now that would be some big karma!!!
Good luck, you may need it and hope your wife does not back out if things do not go right and the senior home gets nixed. If your property is large enough, you might have to build a small mother in law house just to get some peace and quite in your own home.

RELH

BIGJOHNT · Sep 7, 2016

Do you know the difference between a outlaw and a mother in law ? Outlaws are wanted ! ?

eelgrass · Sep 7, 2016

73 years old from Chattanooga? Maybe she can teach you how to make moonshine?

Seriously though, good luck. It's noble of you. My Mom lives at an Assisted Living Home. They have lots of activities....live music (my sister and I play piano and harmonica duets once or twice a week), outings almost every day, 24 hour care. She has her own "apartment"

Forthewall · Sep 7, 2016

@ Eel I got this, all you have to do is tell me "Take Em". I already have every Senior Apartment Center in my area of the state sending me information.

Thing is she may have kind of a short fuse. Stage 1.75 fatty liver due to poor eating habits and a sedentary lifestyle. You know the only thing better than bacon is more bacon along with a side of biscuits/gravy. What are you gonna do? One thing I've learned after being an active SIL for 25+ years of marriage to an only child is you don't rock the boat.

If we can change her eating habits and introduce some sort of physical regimen she could live another 20 years. An evil SIL would just buy more bacon.

DW · Sep 7, 2016

An
>evil SIL would just buy
>more bacon.

So did you get a discount buying it in bulk like that?

Jagerdad · Sep 8, 2016

Along such lines; Go to the SOY section and in a cooler you'll maybe find: "GIMME-LEAN" Breakfast Sausage. It is amazingly good. The name is a run-off from Jimmy-Dean.

All other Soy products are up to an individuals taste or dedication to nutrition. But the Breakfast sausage will fool everyone. Not ONE person will suspect it is SOY.

Jagerdad

NVBighorn · Sep 8, 2016

Find yourself a younger, married woman with her own MIL problems and an inattentive husband. Then the two of you split the rent on an apartment so you can meet up for sex. Your wife will be too busy entertaining her meddling mother to even notice.

Jagerdad · Sep 8, 2016

Can FOUNDER SCOUT for such a Package

mntman · Sep 8, 2016

Have no yes or no answer for you but you DO need to communicate your concerns and desires to your wife. You two are together and both need to compromise.
Her making this decision without talking to your is bad on her! Do not make same mistake and do something without talking to her first.
Good luck.

Mntman

"Hunting is where you prove yourself"

Homer · Sep 8, 2016

...and for desert...

1911 · Sep 8, 2016

Two words. F that. I'd take divorced and broke in a heartbeat. Now if she has a significant net worth that is a horse of a different color, assuming you are on the short list for the windfall.

tvbrewster · Sep 9, 2016

I was standing at the bar one night minding my own business.

This FAT ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind and said, "You're kinda cute. You gotta phone number?"
I said, "Yeah, you gotta pen?"
She said, "Yeah, I got a pen".
I said, "You better get back in it before the farmer misses you."
Cost me 6 stitches...but,
When your are seventy +...............who cares?

Forthewall · Sep 9, 2016

LAST EDITED ON Sep-09-16 AT 08:26PM (MST)[p]@tvbrewster

Here in lies the rub 1911, my MIL was one of my golf buddies who I knew 2 years before I ever met her daughter. The wife and I have been together for close to 28 years.

30 years ago my MIL was working in a known attorney firm, driving a Vette and doing her thing. A single life which consisted of gambling, golfing, going to concerts and basically having a good time. I don't think she has paid for a hotel room in Reno ever since I have known her. We would head up for a golf weekends/concerts and all the rooms were always comped.

So...this sucks. Lots of head-shaking, mumbling, Fs, MFs, GDMFs, because there are no 2 ways around this one. Some folks just are not the same after 70+ years on this earth. At our ages most of us have seen this declining transition before.

If she was the out of state or better yet an out of my life except holidays MIL moving in would not be an option. RELH is right, this is simple, it really is karma. I have to take excellent care of her now because I value loyalty in friendship. F! Sigh

@NVBighorn Your replies are truly wise you good sir have a gift.

Homer · Sep 9, 2016

>I was standing at the bar
>one night minding my own
>business.
>
>This FAT ugly chick came up
>behind me, grabbed my behind
>and said, "You're kinda cute.
>You gotta phone number?"
>I said, "Yeah, you gotta pen?"
>
>She said, "Yeah, I got a
>pen".
>I said, "You better get back
>in it before the farmer
>misses you."
>Cost me 6 stitches...but,
>When your are seventy +...............who cares?
>

Lmmfao....good one.

Homer · Sep 9, 2016

OMG....you were banging her first....you devil....lmao

elkassassin · Sep 9, 2016

So FTW?

Does Ms FTW know You've Banged them Both?

[font color="blue"]She put a Big F.U. in My Future,Ya She's got a
way with Words[/font]

Forthewall · Sep 10, 2016

I think you boyz are confusing putting one in a hole and attempting to get a hole in one with the other.

elkassassin · Sep 10, 2016

>I think you boyz are confusing
>putting one in a hole
>and attempting to get a
>hole in one with the
>other.

Would that be known as a 'One for Two'?

Or a 'Two for One'?

[font color="blue"]She put a Big F.U. in My Future,Ya She's got a
way with Words[/font]