LAST EDITED ON Dec-15-08 AT 05:10AM (MST)[p]The Annual MM Christmas Party was a bit more interesting than I thought it would be. For the 3rd year in a row I wasn?t invited and had no clue where it was being held so I was forced to pay a finders fee. Team Mossback was looking for some offseason work so it turned out great for both of us and they had me there in no time.
This time around it was held at this well-to-do MMers house
Once inside a quick look around at the deep fried Twinkies and smothered nachos should have been a clue this wasn?t going to be your average Christmas party. Someone mentioned the tree farm growing in the back forty and it started to make sense why the get-together was kept secret.
The party gave me a chance to put some names with faces. They say sometimes things are better left alone and this would have been one of them times.
BFE was the first person I met. He seemed to be a little awestruck by all the celebrities but did his best to fit in, posing for pictures at every opportunity. Later in the evening he pulled me aside and told me his MM name was an acronym for Begging For Estrogren. I wouldn't have guessed. Funny thing was for the past several months I thought he was a male but I left the party more uncertain than ever.
I hadn't a clue what Slamdunk looked like but I heard he was ripped. When I saw this drunk guy working the crowd I could see he really was ripped. Slam, I don't think Beckinsale could pick you out of a lineup of 10 year old boys. You may want to follow up that Muscle Milk with some Dianabol shooters and chase it with some Turnibol. dry_boob still tipped him a few dollars then Slam offered him a $20.00 private lap dance with his camo undies and I never saw either of them the rest of the night.
I met some guy named Awholelottabull. After seeing pictures of his trophy room I realized he knows nothing about elk. Turns out he is a bad speller and his game room was full of rounded, concaved dishes, hence his real name Awholelottabowls.
Model_70 brought his new gun and seemed to be very proud of it and the gay turkey tail feather mount he did himself. Really nice fella, thats fabulous.
NVbighorn showed up with his trusty old gun, said he was hunting bobcat. Oddly enough he looked like the love child of Matt Damon and Julie Andrews. A bit burlier than I expected but for a guy that size he could sure belt out the show tunes.
Speaking of entertainment, 1911 was there with his Banjo Hero game. Looked like he was strung out on booger sugar but the guy has some serious talent and didn't miss a chord.
Browtine was there, he had security duty, keeping the unruly in line. Unfortunately he had to leave abruptly when he got a call over the radio about a taser party happening up on US 40 outside Vernal.
Even met the iron fisted MM moderator Nochawk He didn't stay long either, said he was off to a BBQ. He introduced his lovely wife Eva then left. Still can't place that face but he looked very familar.
I've see AndyMan at the gym from time to time and recognized him right away still looking very buff. Nice delts ladykiller, they'll all want to get you under the mistletoe.
BeanMan, known for his world famous BBQ, toted over his newest and greatest creation. I guess sometimes being a Walmart Greeter does have its perks huh?
Tageater was there dressed as Santa to entertain the kids. Turns out he wasn?t feeling real well for some reason and spent most of the night resting quietly in the back yard.
Then there was Berrysblaster. I was under the impression he got his name from some place he worked. Turns out it had a whole lot more to do with how he looked... kind of like a walking infommercial for Viagra. When they do another remake of Willie Wonka I think you'll have work.
Got to meet the famous Bobcat the cyber kitty. He holds a grudge like Khomeini and still hadn't forgiven me for taking a jab at his wife and told me to get ready for a ?holiday tune-up?. He struck his Karate Kid pose, leaped and hung in the air like Jordan then fell to the ground. He did land on all four feet though, then scampered off. Way to cowboy up!
Eel and Kilo arrived together, seemed like real nice guys. Was obvious they weren't getting any younger though. Eel (on left) couldn't remember where he was and Kilo thought KKK was hitting on him until he realized the hand on his knee was his own. No one told me they'd be showing up with Abe Vigoda which was a nice surprise.
I met D13er and Ransom hangin out in the backyard tossing vomit. I'm not sure if they had to much of Chef?s cooking or they caught a glimps of the ?girl? FamilyMan bought for.... errrr brought to the party, but neither one of em seemed like real chatty fellas.
Apparently Stanley?s wife had to much to drink. Passed out on the ground and didn't look all that comfortable so Rackmaster, being the gentleman he is, put her on the table so she wouldn't get dirt in her Busch. Good thing she wasn?t a redhead or things could have got messier than they did once the cameras stopped rolling.
Biggest surprise at the party was when Fugitive was caught in a back room spooning with a sheep after a few rounds of eggnog. The look on both their faces was priceless. This photo is all I can post at this time but don't be surprised if you see the video show up on EweTube.
They even had a wrestling ring set up in the back yard where MM members took there off-season frustrations out on each other. Seen here is Roy subduing Manny with a move he called the Fruit of the Loom Tomb of Doom. I'm not sure who suffered more.
All in all it was a lot like a carnival freakshow minus the midget tossing and cotton candy but you can bet i?ll find a way to make it back next year.
Merry Christmas boys!
This time around it was held at this well-to-do MMers house
Once inside a quick look around at the deep fried Twinkies and smothered nachos should have been a clue this wasn?t going to be your average Christmas party. Someone mentioned the tree farm growing in the back forty and it started to make sense why the get-together was kept secret.
The party gave me a chance to put some names with faces. They say sometimes things are better left alone and this would have been one of them times.
BFE was the first person I met. He seemed to be a little awestruck by all the celebrities but did his best to fit in, posing for pictures at every opportunity. Later in the evening he pulled me aside and told me his MM name was an acronym for Begging For Estrogren. I wouldn't have guessed. Funny thing was for the past several months I thought he was a male but I left the party more uncertain than ever.
I hadn't a clue what Slamdunk looked like but I heard he was ripped. When I saw this drunk guy working the crowd I could see he really was ripped. Slam, I don't think Beckinsale could pick you out of a lineup of 10 year old boys. You may want to follow up that Muscle Milk with some Dianabol shooters and chase it with some Turnibol. dry_boob still tipped him a few dollars then Slam offered him a $20.00 private lap dance with his camo undies and I never saw either of them the rest of the night.
I met some guy named Awholelottabull. After seeing pictures of his trophy room I realized he knows nothing about elk. Turns out he is a bad speller and his game room was full of rounded, concaved dishes, hence his real name Awholelottabowls.
Model_70 brought his new gun and seemed to be very proud of it and the gay turkey tail feather mount he did himself. Really nice fella, thats fabulous.
NVbighorn showed up with his trusty old gun, said he was hunting bobcat. Oddly enough he looked like the love child of Matt Damon and Julie Andrews. A bit burlier than I expected but for a guy that size he could sure belt out the show tunes.
Speaking of entertainment, 1911 was there with his Banjo Hero game. Looked like he was strung out on booger sugar but the guy has some serious talent and didn't miss a chord.
Browtine was there, he had security duty, keeping the unruly in line. Unfortunately he had to leave abruptly when he got a call over the radio about a taser party happening up on US 40 outside Vernal.
Even met the iron fisted MM moderator Nochawk He didn't stay long either, said he was off to a BBQ. He introduced his lovely wife Eva then left. Still can't place that face but he looked very familar.
I've see AndyMan at the gym from time to time and recognized him right away still looking very buff. Nice delts ladykiller, they'll all want to get you under the mistletoe.
BeanMan, known for his world famous BBQ, toted over his newest and greatest creation. I guess sometimes being a Walmart Greeter does have its perks huh?
Tageater was there dressed as Santa to entertain the kids. Turns out he wasn?t feeling real well for some reason and spent most of the night resting quietly in the back yard.
Then there was Berrysblaster. I was under the impression he got his name from some place he worked. Turns out it had a whole lot more to do with how he looked... kind of like a walking infommercial for Viagra. When they do another remake of Willie Wonka I think you'll have work.
Got to meet the famous Bobcat the cyber kitty. He holds a grudge like Khomeini and still hadn't forgiven me for taking a jab at his wife and told me to get ready for a ?holiday tune-up?. He struck his Karate Kid pose, leaped and hung in the air like Jordan then fell to the ground. He did land on all four feet though, then scampered off. Way to cowboy up!
Eel and Kilo arrived together, seemed like real nice guys. Was obvious they weren't getting any younger though. Eel (on left) couldn't remember where he was and Kilo thought KKK was hitting on him until he realized the hand on his knee was his own. No one told me they'd be showing up with Abe Vigoda which was a nice surprise.
I met D13er and Ransom hangin out in the backyard tossing vomit. I'm not sure if they had to much of Chef?s cooking or they caught a glimps of the ?girl? FamilyMan bought for.... errrr brought to the party, but neither one of em seemed like real chatty fellas.
Apparently Stanley?s wife had to much to drink. Passed out on the ground and didn't look all that comfortable so Rackmaster, being the gentleman he is, put her on the table so she wouldn't get dirt in her Busch. Good thing she wasn?t a redhead or things could have got messier than they did once the cameras stopped rolling.
Biggest surprise at the party was when Fugitive was caught in a back room spooning with a sheep after a few rounds of eggnog. The look on both their faces was priceless. This photo is all I can post at this time but don't be surprised if you see the video show up on EweTube.
They even had a wrestling ring set up in the back yard where MM members took there off-season frustrations out on each other. Seen here is Roy subduing Manny with a move he called the Fruit of the Loom Tomb of Doom. I'm not sure who suffered more.
All in all it was a lot like a carnival freakshow minus the midget tossing and cotton candy but you can bet i?ll find a way to make it back next year.
Merry Christmas boys!
Bravo bravo well done Feleno. 
