MENTAL HOSPITAL PHONE MENU Hello

[manny15]

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> > Subject: Fw: MENTAL MENU Forthehelplesslysoftspoken
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> > MENTAL HOSPITAL PHONE MENUHello and thank you for
> > calling The State Mental Hospital.Please select from
> > the following options menu:If you are
> > obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.If you are
> > co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for
> > you.If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4,
> > 5 and 6.If you are paranoid, we know who you are and
> > what you want, stay on theLine so we can trace your
> > call.If you are delusional, press 7 and your call
> > will be forwarded to theMother Ship.If you are
> > schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice
> > will tellYou which number to press.If you are
> > manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you
> > press,Nothing will make you happy anyway.If you are
> > dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.If you are bipolar,
> > please leave a message after the beep or before
> > theBeep or after the beep. Please wait for the
> > beep.If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If
> > you have short-termMemory loss, press 9. If you have
> > short-term memory loss, press 9.If you have low
> > self-esteem, please hang up... Our operators are
> > tooBusy to talk with you.If you are menopausal, put
> > the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lieDown and
> > cry. You won't be crazy forever.If you are blonde,
> > don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.This
> > coming week is National Mental Health Care week. You
> > can do yourPart by remembering to contact at least
> > one unstable person to show youCare.I contacted YOU,
> > so my job is done