Limerick time

F

Feleno

Long Time Member
Messages
4,034
Lets hear your catchy limericks. A limerick is a five-line poem written where the rhyme pattern is a a b b a with lines 1, 2 and 5 rhyming, and lines 3 and 4 rhyming. The last line is usually the punchline to the previous 4 lines. Often times limericks are vulgar in content but since this is MM we'll try to keep em clean.

There once was a man from Belaire
Who made love to his wife on the stair
The bannister broke
So he doubled his stroke
And finished her off in mid air.

Feleno was sitting on a stool
When he noticed a red ring on his tool
He went to a clinic
The doctor said you cynic
"Its just lipstick, you fool.?

A Wyoming cowboy named Bruno
Said love-making is one thing I do know
Women are fine
Cows are devine
But sheep are "Numero Uno"!

There once was a man from Moline
Who invented a love machine.
Concave and convex
It would fit either sex.
But, Oh! what a mess to clean!

There was a guy named bobcat
With the founder he had a big spat
Caplocks and anger brewed
Banishment quickly insued
Now B_BOP is back with new hat
 
You crack me up F'er!
LMMFAO!:D

God is Great!
Life is Good!
And People are Crazy!
I love not acting my age,
Damn I love my NASCAR race,
And Hell yes I love my Truck!
 
There once was a liberal named DUDE

Who made posts on MM that were rude

He claimed he was conservative, but hated Rush

Then he changed his name to 440sixpack in a hush

And now, because the membership of MM is mostly "right", he generally is in a bad mood.
 
LAST EDITED ON Oct-19-10 AT 09:57AM (MST)[p]On MM a man named Fdude.

Made posts the mods oft times found quite rude.

With a push of the finger.

They'd nuke his best zingers.

But Fdude never came unglued.





The one liner king named Jef.

Made posts on MM right and left.

Til one day a monkey.

And a girl lookin funky.

Got the attention of the head mod named "F"




10,000 posts he had created.

In all caps his opinions he stated.

Til one day he blundered.

And was set asunder.

Repentance again got him reinstated.


Terry
 
There once was a man from VanKlass,
Whose balls they were both made of brass,
When it rained stormy weather,
His balls clanged together,
And lightnin' shot out of his arse.
4abc76ff29b26fc1.jpg
 
He got mad and ran off to his granny,
Said all us heathens could kiss his fanny,
A newby started preachin',
Claimed he was teachin',
We instantly knew it was manny.
 
Old mother hubbard!
Went to the cubbard
To fetch poor rover a bone!
When she bent over!
Rover drover with a bone of his own.

Rutnbuck
 
There was a young elk hunter named stinky
His cute little wife was a winky;)
He shot a big gun
And man was it fun
But his d!ck was the size of his pinky!
 
>There was a young elk hunter
>named stinky
>His cute little wife was a
>winky;)
>He shot a big gun
>And man was it fun
>But his d!ck was the size
>of his pinky!


Winner!!!!!!!!!



mod2.jpg
 
Good one eel..


There was a young lady from weeling
she had a particular feeling
then she laid on her back
to tickle her crack
and came all over the ceiling..
 
MM use to be such a blast
damn dudes I miss the past
lately it's been pretty boring
often times I find myself snoring
All because Founder said NO MORE HOT ASS!!

~Z~
 
There once was a man from the Basin
A Pisccutter he went a chasin'
But to lighten his load
Took his bike off the road
A High country Tune-up he was a facin'.


------------------------------------------------------
"So... Now you got a little taste of what I do..."
 
Funny ICHABOD!

God is Great!
Life is Good!
And People are Crazy!
I love not acting my age,
Damn I love my NASCAR race,
And Hell yes I love my Truck!
 
A plick named Ransom to Kona went,

Had to fix some cracked cement,

Just one question he said,

As to which bullet makes methers dead,

Now Steve says; don't be so flippant.

4abc76ff29b26fc1.jpg
 
There once was a man named Eel,

Worked quite the nefarious deal,

Played with his neighbors wife Kim,

But now the jokes is on him,

Turns out four weeks she's been off of the pill.

4abc76ff29b26fc1.jpg
 
She does now!:D

God is Great!
Life is Good!
And People are Crazy!
I love not acting my age,
Damn I love my NASCAR race,
And Hell yes I love my Truck!
 
When the MM Mods are out
A hot little fanny makes 'em pout
But ~Z~ likes to walk the line
With Tag not far behind
Naked women are what it's all about!
 
You boys got some talent, some funny stuff there. Robert Frost is probably rolling in his grave though.
 
There once was a fellow named eel
His love for turtles and his family were real
The wife told him not to forget the Levitra
He said huh!, I thought you said pizza
At least they had a nice meal
 
There once was a guy called D13er
On the internet, no one was meaner
The Founder did nuke
But he took the rebuke
So now he just plays with his weiner.
 
>There once was a guy called
>D13er
>On the internet, no one was
>meaner
>The Founder did nuke
>But he took the rebuke
>So now he just plays with
>his weiner.

LMMFAO....so damn true it hurts



great post/pic, thanks for sharing

JB
497fc2397b939f19.jpg
 
>Nv is one of the funniest
>M.F.ers on this site but
>so far it's Eel 2,
>Nv 1

Don't tell them that. Just gives them big heads and a profile of NVB already looks like an orange on a toothpick.


4abc76ff29b26fc1.jpg
 
There was once a man they called Eel
Who finally gave in to the little blue pill
His wife was in shock
By the size of his ####
So he put her on her knees and fed her a meal

or...

So he bent her over and made her squeal

or...

There is no way in hell this story is real

~Z~
 
LMAO...good stuff ....

horsepoop.gif


Disclaimer:
The poster does not take any responsibility for any hurt or bad feelings. Reading threads poses inherent risks. The poster would like to remind readers to make sure they have a functional sense of humor before they visit any discussion board.
 
LAST EDITED ON Oct-21-10 AT 00:18AM (MST)[p]Wiz is well known as MM's biggest badass
The man has no fears not even of a rash
Daughters and mothers and grandmas he'd hit it
Everywhere he goes he knows just how to git it
For he is the one inspecting all t*ts n ass!!

~Z~
 
LAST EDITED ON Oct-21-10 AT 00:38AM (MST)[p]There lives a boy who thinks he's tough as a moose
Many a times he has tied his own noose
"I'm just trying to fit in" he's said in the past
Annoying at first has turned into a royal pain in our ass
I give you none other than lil KB-DOUCHE!!

~Z~
 
A hooved kick to the head
He could easily be dead
Karma sent from a boy
Robbed of his big buck joy
Founders choice that left his face red.
 
Now I'm off to Wyoming to kill a big buck
Will stop in Nevada for a good ####
My truck is all packed
And man am I jacked
So all my friends, please wih me luck!


I'm out of here!

Eel
 
Feleno's busting balls in the morn
Around here that's the norm
If you have thin skin
And your patience is wearing thin
Mouth off and feel the Campfire's scorn!
 
We offer our best wishes
And we won't be malicious
While you're off on the range
Don't get any strange
The jokes we'll tell about you will keep us in stitches

Good luck on your hunt Eel
 
>>Nv is one of the funniest
>>M.F.ers on this site but
>>so far it's Eel 2,
>>Nv 1
>
>Don't tell them that. Just
>gives them big heads and
>a profile of NVB already
>looks like an orange on
>a toothpick.
>

It's actually more like a child's arm holding an orange. Ohhhh... you weren't talking about that. :)

mod2.jpg
 
I'm having trouble with this one guys. Can anybody think of another word that rhymes with "rock"?


338 Lapuas we're told that they rock
But Stinky has no room to talk
He's not really hating
He's just compensating
Life's tough with a miniature _ _ _ _.


mod2.jpg
 
I don't know Feleno. Its just not working. I keep tring to make rooster fit but that just doesn't rhyme.

Hey! How about caulk?!?


mod2.jpg
 
LAST EDITED ON Oct-21-10 AT 03:54PM (MST)[p]Better tiptoe around muslims

Don't make them sad

Worse yet don't make them mad

If you do they will behave very bad

Juan Williams better hold on tight to his head
 
LAST EDITED ON Oct-21-10 AT 06:56PM (MST)[p]Better be careful of what you think you want
For surely things might come back to haunt
You bought lots of lead
Now a tweaker is dead
What's worse is you pissed off Steve Chevrvuarnt



JB
497fc2397b939f19.jpg
 
We all know Piper and Zigga are weird

They have a flock of sheep that need sheared

But they chased them around

With their trousers pulled down

And now we all think they're queers!

:)








Piper, how's your period?

Zigga, don't forget the knee pads!

Hdude, Lil' Jimmy wants his share!
 
A bear taking a dump asked a rabbit
"Does shyt stick to your fur as a habit?"
"Of course not," said the hare,
"It's really quite rare!"
So the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit.




:) Not mine but still funny

.



Piper, how's your period?

Zigga, don't forget the knee pads!

Hdude, Lil' Jimmy wants his share!
 
Man some of these limericks are funny.
I hope in the morning its sunny.
Now I'm off to bed
Thoughts of big bucks in my head.
Hopefully my aim is dead money!!


Good luck to all the "Pumpkins headed out this weekend" Hope I have a pic for you guys on monday.

}}-SLIVER-->
 
I'm going hunting, wish me good luck

I'm planning to kill a big buck

A "Utard" am I

And a big buck will die

And I wont even get out of my truck.

------------------------------------------------------
"So... Now you got a little taste of what I do..."
 
My attitude's become a bit chipper
They trick me by undoing my zipper
Since divorcing one I've dated a few more
They always act like sex is a chore
Never again will I marry a stripper!!

~Z~
 

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