W
WildBob
Guest
Don't worry, it's a safe one; heard it in Church.
An atheist dude (he was probably a tree hugger anti too - sorry, I'll quit adding my own spin...) was hiking through a beautiful stretch of national park one fine day.
The weather was perfect, it wasn't too cool yet and everything was in full color...it was an absolutely gorgeous fall day.
As he walked slowly along the trail enjoying the atmosphere he couldn't help but notice all the minute details that he usually overlooked; the angle of the sun shinning through the trees, the gentle breeze making some aspen leaves dance, the smell of the forrest, the sound of a babbling brook...
All of a sudden he hears a deep grunt from behind him; he whirls around as a large grizzly is coming down off of his hind legs and lets out a woof as it starts off in the guys direction...
At this point instinct kicks in on the dude and his legs are carrying him as fast as they can before his brain registers 'Holy #####!' (Sorry - my bad on the term there) Anyway, he is running like the wind, and after moving down the trail a good piece he looks back to see how he's doing.
To his suprise and terror, the griz is bearing down on him by now; he can almost feel the bear's breath on his neck! He is scared crapless and realizes that he is big trouble now...
The dude closes his eyes for a nano-second and utters, "Please dear God!" At that point he stumbles over his own feet and crashes to the forrest floor...he has his eyes cinched shut as tight as he can and he listens...he can't hear a thing...and he realizes that even with his eyes shut it is bright all around him.
So he gently rolls over and opens his eyes; there looming above him is the bear with his arm cocked back, claws fully extended, just about to swipe the dude in the head. But - everything, the bear included, is frozen - locked in time, not even the air is moving. The sky has parted and bright light is radiating out; illuminating everything in sight. After a moment a great voice booms: "Why now only in your time of need do you call on me; why now when for all your time on earth you have denied my existence!!
-The dude stammers and still in denial his utters his lowly request, "God, you are right - But I did not call on you for my benefit, I called on you for sake of the bear, please make him a Christian!"
Having thought he out witted the situation the dude let out a big sigh of relief as the sky closed and things took on a normal look. At that point the breeze began to blow again and he could smell the foul odor of the big bear; he watched as he expected the bear to either disappear or drop down and run off...
Instead the bear lowered its arm and then knelt down before the guy and began to pray out loud, "Dear Lord, thank you for this meal you have placed before me..."
An atheist dude (he was probably a tree hugger anti too - sorry, I'll quit adding my own spin...) was hiking through a beautiful stretch of national park one fine day.
The weather was perfect, it wasn't too cool yet and everything was in full color...it was an absolutely gorgeous fall day.
As he walked slowly along the trail enjoying the atmosphere he couldn't help but notice all the minute details that he usually overlooked; the angle of the sun shinning through the trees, the gentle breeze making some aspen leaves dance, the smell of the forrest, the sound of a babbling brook...
All of a sudden he hears a deep grunt from behind him; he whirls around as a large grizzly is coming down off of his hind legs and lets out a woof as it starts off in the guys direction...
At this point instinct kicks in on the dude and his legs are carrying him as fast as they can before his brain registers 'Holy #####!' (Sorry - my bad on the term there) Anyway, he is running like the wind, and after moving down the trail a good piece he looks back to see how he's doing.
To his suprise and terror, the griz is bearing down on him by now; he can almost feel the bear's breath on his neck! He is scared crapless and realizes that he is big trouble now...
The dude closes his eyes for a nano-second and utters, "Please dear God!" At that point he stumbles over his own feet and crashes to the forrest floor...he has his eyes cinched shut as tight as he can and he listens...he can't hear a thing...and he realizes that even with his eyes shut it is bright all around him.
So he gently rolls over and opens his eyes; there looming above him is the bear with his arm cocked back, claws fully extended, just about to swipe the dude in the head. But - everything, the bear included, is frozen - locked in time, not even the air is moving. The sky has parted and bright light is radiating out; illuminating everything in sight. After a moment a great voice booms: "Why now only in your time of need do you call on me; why now when for all your time on earth you have denied my existence!!
-The dude stammers and still in denial his utters his lowly request, "God, you are right - But I did not call on you for my benefit, I called on you for sake of the bear, please make him a Christian!"
Having thought he out witted the situation the dude let out a big sigh of relief as the sky closed and things took on a normal look. At that point the breeze began to blow again and he could smell the foul odor of the big bear; he watched as he expected the bear to either disappear or drop down and run off...
Instead the bear lowered its arm and then knelt down before the guy and began to pray out loud, "Dear Lord, thank you for this meal you have placed before me..."
