I've got a problem!!!!

M

mesquitehunter

Guest
OK Guys,
I've been divorced for a few years now and have recently got back into the dating world.

I've being dating two differnt chics that are night and day differnt.

Chic #1 23 years old, she has smooth silky skin,long blonde hair, 34 dd chest, 5'5", wears a size one and a butt that will stop a train in its tracks and she loves to dress sexy. She want's to get nasty in places I've never thought of. BUT she's a animal lover, a vegatarian, and a hard core PETA member.

Chic #2 35 years old, dry scaley skin, short black hair, A cup chest, 5"10, and a big ass with thunder thigh's to boot. BUT she loves to hunt and has shot several deer & elk. She cuts wood, she can overhaul an engine and can cook a grand meal. She even wears a wallet with a chain. She looks like a redneck version of Janet Napalatano.

Guy's I need help here, who do I chose? A PETA loving swimsuit model or an outdoor loving butch?
 
I think you and Chick#2 should share joint custody of Chick#1

horsepoop.gif


Disclaimer:
The poster does not take any responsibility for any hurt or bad feelings. Reading threads poses inherent risks. The poster would like to remind readers to make sure they have a functional sense of humor before they visit any discussion board.
 
I was out with Chick #1 earlier this evening and as we were walking in the parking lot to watch a movie she lifted her skirt up and said "OOP'S I FORGOT TO WEAR MY THONG" and as the movie was playing she kept my hand busy. All the while Chic #2 sent me a text message letting me know she just reloaded a hundred rounds of ammo and changed a fuel injector on her Powerstroke.
 
I forgot to mention last night me and Chic#2 went out for a beer. This dude started talking crap to me and before I know it she has the dude in a Full Nelson saying "MIND YOUR F---ING BUSINESS A--HOLE". Then she made him buy us both a beer.
 
OK, so why screw this up by choosing? I say keep 'em both on the line. It's working so far, right? Who says you can't have your cake and eat it too?
 
(A) Explain to both women that you have a job that takes you out of town, and out of cell phone range for 3-4 days a week.

(B) Determine with one has the most money, and has the potential to make the most money in the long term. ( marry that one )

( C ) Spend your 3-4 days a week alternating between hunting and palling around with #2, and banging #1 like a screen door in a hurricane.
 
You guy's are never gonna believe what happend this morning.

Chic #1 was talking to me on her cell phone while she was driving and rammed the back end of a pickup at a stop sign. The ball and hitch got stuck in the radiator of her car. I told her I would be right there to help... As I'm driving to the accident Chic #2 called me on my cell and say's "SOME STUPID LITTLE BLONDE B--CH JUST RAN INTO THE BACK OF ME". So I had to do some quik thinking. I called Chic #1 back and told her I blew a tire and the spare was flat.
 
Don't believe I'd ever get married again?
A gal that can repair a stroker & make it run after it sshits the bed huh?That's a plus,but what about the choke hold you might someday get?
Trash can both beaches,after the 2 collided you're gonna get the choke hold if you keep screwing around



we are YoungCountry, we like all kinds
of music and people, 'cause we do draw some lines'
no our hair is not orange,we don't wear chains and spikes
but we know how to have fun come Saturday night
 
Well Chic #1 got a rental car and nothing happend to the truck.

I just don't know what to do. Since I don't have to work tomorrow Chic #2 invited me to go flathead catfishing on her pontoon boat tonight. I haven't been fishing in over a year and she has been catching flatheads in the 30lb range and an occasional 50+ pounders. Last weekend she caught a 62lb flathead. She also has a BBque on the boat and she said she had elk backstraps marinating. I really wanna go.........

Chic #1 invited me to have a little party with two other girlfriends at her house tonight. She promised me things will get very hot and steamy. Her friends are extremely wild and hot. No Viagra needed there.
 
Holy Moses. And now on top of everything else its a fishing story. Wait a minute before posting again...it will take me a while to dig my hip waders out of the basement.
 
Dear Pentouse Forums...

This was believable in the beginning but getting to far fetched even for me to believe. funny stuff though, keep it rolling
 
I certainly hope my comments wont slow ya down.

In the above scenario - I like to fish and love elk steaks as much as the next guy...but come on. No straight man would have a problem making that decision...
 
Girl #1 is your left hand and Girl #2 is your right hand

Your left hand woke you up last night wearing a sexy little nighty and rocked your world. The next day your right hand made you elk steak and eggs for breakfast and cracked you open a cold one. Lol
 
This ones a no brainer if your a true outdoorsman. As soon as you go hunting, #1 will cut you off quicker than s__t. Then your stuck with a smoking hot chick that will not have sex, or even let you go hunting again. #2 is the obvious choice. Take her out in the woods and make her hike her butt off. Plus I have never seen a chick with a big ass and thunder thighs that didn't have a big chest. #1 might be more fun, but everyone is pretty when the lights are off.
 
ahhhh NO!! they are not all pretty when the lights go off.... there is not a night dark enough for some of them!!!! Im sorry here...but i truely love my hunting, can't imagine what all those PETA people are thinking....but #1 would make me into a lettuce eating, tofu loving man in a second!!
 
> come on.
> No straight man would
>have a problem making that
>decision...

+1


I had the choice made on who I would pick in the first post, sounds to me the second chic (if she is real) is more like a dude than you might be.....


scrat.jpg
 
If #2 is the hunter she says she is why does she have a fat ass? Shouldn't she be slim and trim if she was a "real Huntress" like KTCs Barbee? I would not get too involved with 1 or 2. You will find some major flaws soon enough. Trust me I have fell in love with girls that had the same interest as me and quickly figured that was not a wise choice. Dont take me wrong on same interest. For example my wife like to go riding around, scouting and occasionally hunting, but if she pushed me off the deer and said I am gutting it and packing it out you go get the pickup I would have some concern:)
 
LAST EDITED ON Sep-14-09 AT 04:06PM (MST)[p]Well I wound up going fishing with #2 because #1's grandma fell and broke her hip. We caught several flatheads the biggest being 42 lbs.

As we were fishing on the boat we got to talking about tattoo's. She said she has one on her right shoulder of a rose....She then told me she had a tattoo in a very private place. OK are ready for this? It's a COYOTE HOWLING AT THE MOON WITH A SAGAURO CACTUS IN THE BACK GROUND between the waist and the crotch. She offered to show it to me but she said it might be hard to see because she hadn't shaved or trimmed up down there in a while. I declined the offer.
 
This is getting better by the post! LMAO keep it going!! I am waiting for the two of them to meet each other and fall in love. Pictures would be very helpfull.
 
She then
>told me she had a
>tattoo in a very private
>place. OK are ready for
>this? It's a COYOTE HOWLING
>AT THE MOON WITH A
>SAGAURO CACTUS IN THE BACK
>GROUND between the waist and
>the crotch. She offered to
>show it to me but
>she said it might be
>hard to see because she
>hadn't shaved or trimmed up
>down there in a while.
>I declined the offer.



Who the hell declines the sight of a half naked woman. Any time you can get a womans pants off to show off the meat curtains... YOU DO IT...

are you sure your not gay..

scrat.jpg
 
LAST EDITED ON Sep-14-09 AT 05:34PM (MST)[p]This reminds me of Jack Tripper on Tree's Company. LOL

I wish I was in your shoes,,,,,,,,,,,,,
 
LAST EDITED ON Sep-14-09 AT 09:30PM (MST)[p]Well I met Chic #1's family this evening.........I don't know what to think at this point.

OK here goes...... When we arrived Mom is in the back yard doing this weird meditation stuff. I'm not sure what it was but it was like slow motion karate moves mixed with dancing.

I met her brother and his boyfriend. He's wearing a yellow spaghetti top shirt that's about three sizes to small and Daisy Duke shorts. He reminded me of that queer at the beach on the Reno 911 movie.

Then I was introduced to all the dogs. The one that struck me the most was the standard poodle that was wearing a pink skirt and a pink tank top. I ask " Is that dog a girl or boy" because I saw a set of nuts hanging down I was told "That's not a dog, his name is Casey" "We refer to our family members by their names". Honestly I've never seen a transgender dog in my life.

So as we were eating our veggie dinners each dog had it's own seat at the table and they ate vegitarian dog food.

I'm goinna get drunk tonight and forget about everything.
 
Oh, I forgot Dad.... He gets out of the pool wearing speedos swiming trunks. And then he show me his art gallery and all his paintings. Honestly it just looked like a splatterd and smeared paint on a canvas. He shows me his latest painting and ask "how do you like this one?" I said "nice, what's it a picture of?"
 

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