I'm a failure!

eelgrass

Long Time Member
Messages
31,710
A complete and utter failure!

I've been taking care of my parents lawn for a couple years. About a year ago, what I thought was gophers took up residence in their back yard. I tried a few traps but drew a blank. I kind of forgot about them over the winter. Then, in February when I started mowing in ernest, I decide to get serious. I set my traps and got some gopher poison and baited the runways without traps. Everytime I went over to their house the traps would be empty and a bunch of fresh mounds show up. I kept setting traps and placing poison grain in every fresh dig. Nothing!

Then one evening I was there digging out for a trap and noticed some fresh dirt moving over in the corner of the yard! I grabbed the shovel and quietly sneaked over and in one quick scoop got the little bugger! Much to my surprise it wasn't a gopher at all. It was a MOLE!

No wonder I couldn't bait them. Moles don't eat grain. They eat grubs and worms. OK! At least now I know the enemy!

I got on the internet and looked up how to kill moles. Mole traps work best but only IF the runway is visible above ground. My moles are deep diggers which is why I thought they were gophers in the first place. I can't find a place to set the traps and the prongs aren't long enough to reach them if I could find a runway. I tried flooding them out (which very seldom works but is cheap and you might get lucky). I tried smoke bombs with the same result. I tried soaking the lawn with some bug killer thinking if you take away his food, he will have to go somewhere else. So far that hasn't worked.

I found some poison artificial worms (very expensive) and that gave me an idea! I dug into a mound and found three runways comming into it. I then dug down deeper and placed a coffee can level with the bottom of the runways, and back filled to the top of the can. Then I put a box of night crawlers from the bait shop in the can and covered the whole thing with a board. I figured a mole would come by, smell the worms and drop into the can. Once he's in there he couldn't jump out. Got him! I left it undisturbed for three days. I went back today only to find 6 new mounds all around my worm trap. I lifted the board and nothing! The worms were happy and safe and undisturbed.

I give up. I can't do it anymore. I'll just rake all the mounds and mow big clouds of dust into the air. I can't do it any more!

I'm a failure. My mom doesn't even come out and offer me lemonade any more. My self esteem is so low I may not even buy a deer tag this year. If I can't out smart a mole how can I kill a cagey blacktail?

Eel
 
eel, sometimes you try to picture what some of the people on the sight look like.

Now whenever I see your post I am going to picture you looking like Bill Murray in caddy shack.


How about those plug in high pitch noise makers. May make the dogs in the neighborhood howl. That would at least be funny.
 
I have never seen the movie Caddyshack! I may have to rent it now though.

TTK, it's too late for luck! I'm done!

Eel
 
Eelgrass,

Son why didn't you just ask me, I have the best method and it has kept my front lawn in shape.

Get a bottle of Tabasco Sauce, Chili Powder, Liquid dish soap and a gallon jug like a milk or water bottle.

1-1/2 tbsp. of Tabasco Sauce X 4
1 tbsp. of liquid dish soap X 4
1 tsp. of Chili Powder X 4
1 qt. of water X 4

Other words, make it for a gallon instead of a Quart.

DON'T GET THE CHILI POWDER ON YOUR FINGERS. MIX IT CAREFULLY AND THEN AFTER YOU POUR IT INTO THEIR RUNWAY OR HOLE WAIT A DAY OR TWO. THEN SPRAY "MOLE AWAY" AND COVER THE LAWN AREA REALLY GOOD. IT FITS, THE BOTTLE, TO THE END OF HOSE. BUY IT AT ANY GARDEN STORE.

Just call it Brian's Mole Chaser Tonic.....LOL
 
>I have never seen the movie
>Caddyshack! I may have to
>rent it now though.
>
>TTK, it's too late for luck!
>I'm done!
>
>Eel

YOU HAVE NEVER SEEN CADDYSHACK????

Hillarious movie....

horsepoop.gif
 
Eel,

If you want to try chemical warfare try to find someone with a Private Applicators pesticide license. Ask them to buy you some Aluminum Phosphide compound used to fumigate grain storage bins. It is also used, legally for the time being, maybe not in Kaifornia, to kill prairie dogs underground. If you do get some make darn sure you don't breath any of the gas that will come out when you open the container. They are half inch size pills whichyou would put in a burrow. Ambient mositure then causes them to gas off and kills the critters.

Bean
 
Honest, I have not seen Caddyshack! I keep hearing about it now though.

I may have to re-group and try again soon. I'm in such a funk that Viagra is not working! My wife is eyeing the UPS driver. It's BAD!

Eel
 
Eel,

My youngest brother worked for a farmer who had a terrible problem with gophers. Granted, you have a mole problem but the unit this old farmer used was hilarious. It was basically a unit that had a nozzle that went into the hole, a long set of hoses and a box that mixed propane and oxygen. You would find the hole, insert the nozzle, charge the tunnel for a while and push the igniter switch.......BOOM! The ground shook like crazy but I didn't ever see any burning gophers. It was fun as all get out to watch where those little buggers were tunneling and to see the earth shake when ignited.

I found a few spots on the net so check out the demo's. Good times!

http://channelslawncare.com/gophergetters.html

http://www.varmitgetter.com/TheVarmitGetter.aspx
 
wilecoyote76, now you're talking! At this point, any remedy that explodes and requires ear and eye protection gets my vote! Kind of spendy though.

The area I have with moles is about an acre in size. They have lots of room to run and hide.
 
Wile,
That's exactly how I get rid of em at the farm. Saw one for sell at a pecan show and they wanted too much for it so I just modifed my acetylene rig to include an ignitor.
What a blast! A little beer doesn't hurt either.

As a matter of fact beer always goes good with Caddy Shack!

"Cinderella story, out of no where...180 yards out hitting about an 8 iron..."


Take a kid hunting. You will enjoy it more than they do!
 
Eel

Try a small battlefield nuke. Make sure your grandkids are not visiting when you detonate it. Don't eat any of your home grown fruits and vegetables either for an extended period afterwards.
Only try this method if all other methods fail and you don't like your neighbors. Good luck.


Ransom
 
Eel - there is only one thing for sure that will evacuate moles from your yard and you and I both know what it is - yes it will scare them away completely - but the question is - will it scare you away too? Are you man enough? That's right - this kind of challenge to your manhood can mean only one thing - TURTLES! Yes - moles are deathly afraid of them and will vacate the area, but then afterward you have the turtles to deal with. So it may be a "Catch-22" solution. Do you want to have tunnels and mounds dug by moles or do you want dog, cat, bird, mole and human remains strewn about the yard like so much chattel. It is your choice though, but trust me, the turtles will work!

I am haunted by turtles.

UTROY
Proverbs 21:19 (why I hunt!)
 
EB, HAHAHAHA! Thanks for the link! I can identify with that poor guy!

Roy, turtles? Good grief man! You're asking me to burn down the house to get rid of the rats!:) I want to get rid of the moles but I would like my mom to be able to use the yard too!

Eel
 
Ransom, I just phoned in the GPS coordinates of my mom's back yard to the State Department. I told them Bin Ladin will be there tonight between 7-8:00 pm. I told them a cruise missile would be in order. Mom will be at our house for dinner.

That should do it!

Eel
 
Why wouldn't a plain old garden hose work? Just drown them out. I've done it and it works great. Plus it waters the lawn at the exact same time.:)
 
........it is all so clear now, I don't know why we just never picked up on it sooner. There were probably other "signs"....have to check the arcives.

Eelgrass IS Osama Bin Laden....has to be why he says he has never seen Caddyshack!
 
I sincerely appriciate all the wonderful advice and your attempt at humor to lift my spirits, but it came to me last night in a dream! Here is my next move. Use plenty of rebar, and add more sections as needed!

4830248678826daa.jpg
 
Ha! .....that there smoothin' macheen is reel hard to handle ifin it ain't on wet mud and it will tare up yer lawn way worser then gofers or molds....wut wuz you thinkin'?

Whin the suar bakked up in the traler, I tried to used it on the shagg carpte and it jus torn it all up and smeered poop cleer up to the to the top...workin'...TV set.

We wuz only able to live in that plase for anuthur 4 munths!

Don't tri it Eelgrassman!
 
>EB, HAHAHAHA! Thanks for the link!
>I can identify with that
>poor guy!
>
>Roy, turtles? Good grief man! You're
>asking me to burn down
>the house to get rid
>of the rats!:) I want
>to get rid of the
>moles but I would like
>my mom to be able
>to use the yard too!
>
>
>Eel

So, what you are saying is that you are not man enough!!?? That's what I thought you'd say. It's OK Eel. You are right, I did suggest some pretty strong medicine. Many people are too afraid of the cure to be healed - don't let it get you down!
I think the concrete will work. That or go gravel instead of grass. It can be pretty too and you don't have to water or mow. Not all that fun playing baseball or football though - slide at your own risk!


UTROY
Proverbs 21:19 (why I hunt!)
 
OK! I re-grouped and decided to give it one more try!

A certain moderator, whom we all admire and respect, gave me a tip to try. It involved tabasco sauce, chilie powder, and dish soap. Then some commercial mole repellent.

I made the proper applications, as per the label directions. I waited a week, then went back and took the following photographs.

4840a2a5556b1dbb.jpg



4840a2cd55fa0dfd.jpg


Boy, did I show them!

Brian, I DO NOT hold you responsible. You just underestimated these tough Redwood moles up North!LOL!

Now I'm done, until I retire in a couple years and can devote the time to wait 'em out with a shotgun.

Eel
 
Napalm! Just mix some styrofoam and diesel together until its jellied and dump it down the holes. Then light it! Or you could make a mini-flame-thrower. Wolves may also work too, though not as well as turtles, they will be easyier on the neighborhood pets.
ismth

45f82e4d30de4f30.jpg
 
Steve,

Save some money, just ask D-cup to send you his battery operated "toys" and stick them in the ground, them Moles don't like VIBRATORS AT ALL. LOL

Brian
 
Zigga, I tried the garden hose. I ran water down every hole. I even left it running for about half an hour. The water just disappeared, and no moles came up. I've done it on two seperate occassions. The soil must be too loose, or something.

My sister has tried those sonic repellers. She says don't waste your money. They didn't work for her anyway.

I'm thinking a box of rattlesnakes. Open a hole and send one down.....?
 

Click-a-Pic ... Details & Bigger Photos
Back
Top Bottom