I woke up this morning

[cameraguy]

I woke up this morning to a tremendous racket coming from my roof. I stepped out in the front yard to see what was going and and there to my surprise was a full grown brown bear on the roof. I went back into the house and grabbed the yellow Pages. I was looking to see if there was such a thing as bear removal. Luckily I found a listing and called. He said that he would be right over. About 15 minutes later a beat up van with a rickety ladder tied on the top comes rolling up my drive. I watched from the window as the driver got out, untied the ladder, let a mean looking pit bull out of the back door, grabbed a baseball bat and a shotgun from the passenger side door. I went out to introduce myself and asked him what his game plan was. He said he would climb up the ladder to the roof and knock the bear off with the baseball bat. Then when the bear hit the ground, the pit bull was trained to latch onto the bears testicles. This would distract the bear so that he could get it into a cage that he had in the van. As he began to climb up the lader he handed me the shotgun. I said "what's this for?" He answered " If the bear knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog".

CameraGuy
A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend will be sitting next to you.