A businessman had arranged an important formal dinner party at his home where they were going to serve stuffed whole baked fish as the main course.
While the guests were eating the appetizer, the cook came to the host and whispered "Please come urgently to the kitchen."
The host went to the kitchen where the cook explained that while she was serving the starter, the cat ate a big chunk of the fish which they were going to serve.
The host said, "Just fill the hole with stuffing and turn the other side up, nobody will notice."
The fish was served and when they were nearly finished eating, the host was again called to the kitchen.
The cook said, "The cat is dead!"
The host rushed back to the dinner party and apologized, "Something was wrong with the fish and everyone must have their stomachs pumped out at the hospital."
When they came back everything was still fine and the host went to ask the cook, "Where is the cat?"
"Oh," said the chef, "The cat is still in the road where the truck ran it down!
***
The student chef was weeping at the bar, so the bartender gave him a free drink.
"What's the trouble?" asked the friendly bartender.
"I got expelled of chef school," he replied. "They said I gave them the oldest excuse in the book, and all I did was tell the truth."
"What did you say?" asked the bartender.
To which the chef student answered, "I told them my dog ate my homework."
***
One of the classes went on a field trip to the fire station. The firefighter giving the presentation held up a smoke detector and asked the class: "Does anyone know what this is?"
Johnny's hand shot up and the firefighter called on him.
Johnny replied: "That's how our school chef knows the lunch food is ready!"
TONY MANDILE
How To Hunt Coues Deer
