I can't wait to retire

eelgrass

Long Time Member
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31,713
Kilowatt sent me this. This is what he did yesterday. I can hardly wait to retire.



Eel, being retired is great! I keep really busy. Just yesterday

I decide to water my garden.
As I turn on the hose in the driveway,

I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.
As I start toward the garage,

I notice mail on the porch table that

I brought up from the mail box earlier.
I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.
I lay my car keys on the table,

put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table,

and notice that the can is full.
So, I decide to put the bills back

on the table and take out the garbage first.
But then I think,

Since I'm going to be near the mailbox

when I take out the garbage anyway,

I may as well pay the bills first.
I take my check book off the table,

and see that there is only one check left.
My extra checks are in my desk in the study,

so I go inside the house to my desk where

I find the can of Coke I'd been drinking.
I'm going to look for my checks,

but first I need to push the Coke aside

so that I don't accidentally knock it over.
The Coke is getting warm,

and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.
As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke,

a vase of flowers on the counter

catches my eye--they need water.
I put the Coke on the counter and

discover my reading glasses that

I've been searching for all morning.
I decide I better put them back on my desk,

but first I'm going to water the flowers.
I set the glasses back down on the counter,

fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote.

Someone left it on the kitchen table.
I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV,

I'll be looking for the remote,

but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table,

so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs,

but first I'll water the flowers.
I pour some water in the flowers,

but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.
So, I set the remote back on the table,

get some towels and wipe up the spill.
Then, I head down the hall trying to

remember what I was planning to do.
At the end of the day:
the car isn't washed
the bills aren't paid
there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter
the flowers don't have enough water,
there is still only 1 check in my check book,
I can't find the remote,
I can't find my glasses,
and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.
Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,

I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all damn day,

and I'm really tired.
I realize this is a serious problem,

and I'll try to get some help for it,

but first I'll check my e-mail....
 
That is funny, I read it to my wife and we both laughed.
I can relate I go through that every weekend.
Only 8 more years to retire.....



Tom
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
 
I hope he is enjoying his retirement and I wish him many years of retirement. The rest of us won't see ours!
 
LAST EDITED ON Feb-01-09 AT 03:53PM (MST)[p]EELGRASS,

YOUR ASS IN GRASS, BETTER RUN AND HIDE "BUDDY"..........my wife is still laughing and I got tears running down my face.

Time for the SUPERBOWL.

Brian
 
Brian, I'm glad you could laugh about it! I like to tease you about being retired. Jealousy I suppose.:)

Eel
 
Kilo are you and I the only old farts on here that can tell these whipper snappers just how great it is being retired?
10-1-2003 was the date for me and I have not looked back.

RELH
 
Robert,

Yes it is great and my retirement date was 11-01-2001. When someone asks to borrow money, my come back is: "Sorry, I am retired and living on a fixed income". LOL

Brian
 
CRAP!!! My wife tells me that everytime I want a allowance. My youngest son one time told me that he thought I was getting an allowance from his mom just like he and his brother did for doing their weekly chores. What I get for marry a farmer's daughter that was also a book keeper.
Best thing she did was make sure that we had no outstanding debts when I retired. I will not mention the many "honey do's" I have done since retirement, you already know about that.

RELH
 
Yeah! you do not count. You fail to meet the requirements of
"old Fart". Have to be 60 to meet that requirement. You whipper snapper.

RELH
 
Official on 12-30-00, but last day of work was 9-9-00, had lots of unused vacation to burn. You Kali guys keep working cuz you are paying for it...LOL.

from the "Heartland of Wyoming"
 
Now that is goood...truth is I do it all the time. My buddies told me I hit the Oregon Lottery with a lot of pain....haven't had to work since 96. I hate fixed incomes gotta have lots of PLAY MONEY!!
 

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