O
OldRookie
Guest
oldies but goodies
LH
A farmer got in his pickup and drove to a neighboring farm and knocked
at the door. A young boy, about 9, opened the door.
'Is yer Dad home?' the rancher asked.
'No sir, he ain't,' the boy replied. 'He went into town.'
'Well,' said the rancher, 'is yer Mom here?'
'No, sir, she ain't here neither. She went into town with Dad.'
'How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?'
'He went with Mom and Dad.'
The rancher stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the
other and mumbling to himself.
'Is there anything I can do fer ya?' the boy asked politely. 'I know
where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one. Or maybe I could
take a message fer Dad.'
'Well,' said the farmer uncomfortably, 'I really wanted to talk to yer
Dad.
It's about your brother Howard getting my daughter pregnant.'
The boy considered for a moment. 'You would have to talk to Pa about
that'
he finally conceded. 'If it helps you any, I know that Pa charges $500
for the bull and $50 for the hog, but, I really don't know how much he
gets fer Howard.'
_______
COWBOY CHILI!!
A young cowboy walks into a seedy cafe in Albany, Texas. He sits at the counter and notices an old cowboy with his arms folded staring blankly
at a full bowl of chili.
After fifteen minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the young
cowboy bravely asks the old cowpoke, 'If you ain't gonna eat that, mind if I do?'
The older cowboy slowly turns his head toward the young wrangler and in
his best cowboy manner says, 'Nah, you go ahead.'
Eagerly, the young cowboy reaches over and slides the bowl over to his
place and starts spooning it in with delight. He gets nearly down to the
bottom and notices a dead mouse in the chili. The sight was shocking and he immediately barfs up the chili into the bowl.
The old cowboy quietly says, 'Yep, that's as far as I got, too.'
LH
A farmer got in his pickup and drove to a neighboring farm and knocked
at the door. A young boy, about 9, opened the door.
'Is yer Dad home?' the rancher asked.
'No sir, he ain't,' the boy replied. 'He went into town.'
'Well,' said the rancher, 'is yer Mom here?'
'No, sir, she ain't here neither. She went into town with Dad.'
'How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?'
'He went with Mom and Dad.'
The rancher stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the
other and mumbling to himself.
'Is there anything I can do fer ya?' the boy asked politely. 'I know
where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one. Or maybe I could
take a message fer Dad.'
'Well,' said the farmer uncomfortably, 'I really wanted to talk to yer
Dad.
It's about your brother Howard getting my daughter pregnant.'
The boy considered for a moment. 'You would have to talk to Pa about
that'
he finally conceded. 'If it helps you any, I know that Pa charges $500
for the bull and $50 for the hog, but, I really don't know how much he
gets fer Howard.'
_______
COWBOY CHILI!!
A young cowboy walks into a seedy cafe in Albany, Texas. He sits at the counter and notices an old cowboy with his arms folded staring blankly
at a full bowl of chili.
After fifteen minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the young
cowboy bravely asks the old cowpoke, 'If you ain't gonna eat that, mind if I do?'
The older cowboy slowly turns his head toward the young wrangler and in
his best cowboy manner says, 'Nah, you go ahead.'
Eagerly, the young cowboy reaches over and slides the bowl over to his
place and starts spooning it in with delight. He gets nearly down to the
bottom and notices a dead mouse in the chili. The sight was shocking and he immediately barfs up the chili into the bowl.
The old cowboy quietly says, 'Yep, that's as far as I got, too.'
