ONE DAY LONG LONG AGO MRS EEL SAID TO EEL YOU MUST FIND A JOB!!!!
SO HE WALKS INTO THE LOCAL MILL OFFICE AND FILLS OUT AN
APPLICATION AS AN EXPERIENCED LOG INSPECTOR. IT'S HIS LUCKY DAY!!! THEY JUST
HAPPEN TO BE LOOKING FOR SOMEONE, BUT FIRST, THE LOG FOREMAN TAKES HIM FOR A
RIDE INTO THE FOREST IN THE COMPANY PICKUP TRUCK TO SEE HOW MUCH HE KNOWS.
THE FOREMAN STOPS THE TRUCK ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD AND POINTS AT A TREE
"SEE THAT TREE OVER THERE? I WANT YOU TO TELL ME WHAT SPECIES IT IS AND HOW
MANY BOARD FEET OF LUMBER IT CONTAINS."
EEL PROMPTLY ANSWERS, "THAT THAR'S A WHITEPINE, 383 BOARD FEET OF
LUMBER IN 'ER."
THE FOREMAN IS IMPRESSED!!! HE PUTS THE TRUCK IN MOTION AND STOPS ABOUT A
MILE DOWN THE ROAD. HE POINTS AT ANOTHER TREE THROUGH THE PASSENGER WINDOW
AND ASKS THE SAME QUESTION. THIS TIME, IT'S A BIGGER TREE OF A DIFFERENT
CLASS.
"THAT'S A LOBLOLLY PINE AND SHE'S GOT ABOUT 456 CLEAR BOARD FEET."
THE FOREMAN IS REALLY IMPRESSED WITH THE GOOD OL' BOY, HE HAS BEEN QUICK
AND GOT THE ANSWERS RIGHT WITHOUT USING A CALCULATOR!!!!
ONE MORE TEST. THEY DRIVE A LITTLE FURTHER DOWN THE ROAD, AND THE FOREMAN
STOPS AGAIN.. THIS TIME, HE POINTS ACROSS THE ROAD THROUGH HIS DRIVER SIDE
WINDOW AND SAYS, "AND WHAT ABOUT THAT ONE?"
BEFORE THE FOREMAN FINISHES POINTING, EEL SAYS, "WHITE OAK, 242
BOARD FEET AT BEST."
THE FOREMAN SPINS THE TRUCK AROUND AND HEADS BACK TO THE OFFICE A LITTLE
TICKED OFF BECAUSE HE THINKS EEL IS SMARTER THAN HE IS. AS THEY
NEAR THE OFFICE, ANOTHER FOREMAN STOPS THE TRUCK AND ASKS EEL TO STEP
OUTSIDE.
HE HANDS HIM A PIECE OF CHALK AND TELLS HIM, "SEE THAT TREE OVER THERE?"
"I WANT YOU TO MARK AN X ON THE FRONT OF THAT TREE!!"
THE FOREMAN THINKS TO HIMSELF, "IDIOT, HOW WOULD HE KNOW WHICH IS THE
FRONT OF THE TREE?"
WHEN EEL REACHES THE TREE, HE GOES AROUND IT IN A CIRCLE WHILE LOOKING
AT THE GROUND. HE THEN REACHES UP AND PLACES A WHITE X ON THE TRUNK.
HE WALKS BACK TO THE FOREMAN AND HANDS HIM THE CHALK. "THAT THAR'S THE
FRONT," EEL SAYS.
THE FOREMAN LAUGHS TO HIMSELF AND ASKS SARCASTICALLY, "HOW IN THE HELL DO
YOU KNOW THAT'S THE FRONT OF THE TREE?"
EEL LOOKS DOWN AT HIS FEET, WHILE RUBBING THE TOE OF HIS LEFT
BOOT CLEANING IT IN THE GRAVEL AND REPLIES, "CUZ SOMEBODY TOOK A #####
BEHIND IT!"
HE GOT THE JOB.
TRUE STORY!
SO HE WALKS INTO THE LOCAL MILL OFFICE AND FILLS OUT AN
APPLICATION AS AN EXPERIENCED LOG INSPECTOR. IT'S HIS LUCKY DAY!!! THEY JUST
HAPPEN TO BE LOOKING FOR SOMEONE, BUT FIRST, THE LOG FOREMAN TAKES HIM FOR A
RIDE INTO THE FOREST IN THE COMPANY PICKUP TRUCK TO SEE HOW MUCH HE KNOWS.
THE FOREMAN STOPS THE TRUCK ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD AND POINTS AT A TREE
"SEE THAT TREE OVER THERE? I WANT YOU TO TELL ME WHAT SPECIES IT IS AND HOW
MANY BOARD FEET OF LUMBER IT CONTAINS."
EEL PROMPTLY ANSWERS, "THAT THAR'S A WHITEPINE, 383 BOARD FEET OF
LUMBER IN 'ER."
THE FOREMAN IS IMPRESSED!!! HE PUTS THE TRUCK IN MOTION AND STOPS ABOUT A
MILE DOWN THE ROAD. HE POINTS AT ANOTHER TREE THROUGH THE PASSENGER WINDOW
AND ASKS THE SAME QUESTION. THIS TIME, IT'S A BIGGER TREE OF A DIFFERENT
CLASS.
"THAT'S A LOBLOLLY PINE AND SHE'S GOT ABOUT 456 CLEAR BOARD FEET."
THE FOREMAN IS REALLY IMPRESSED WITH THE GOOD OL' BOY, HE HAS BEEN QUICK
AND GOT THE ANSWERS RIGHT WITHOUT USING A CALCULATOR!!!!
ONE MORE TEST. THEY DRIVE A LITTLE FURTHER DOWN THE ROAD, AND THE FOREMAN
STOPS AGAIN.. THIS TIME, HE POINTS ACROSS THE ROAD THROUGH HIS DRIVER SIDE
WINDOW AND SAYS, "AND WHAT ABOUT THAT ONE?"
BEFORE THE FOREMAN FINISHES POINTING, EEL SAYS, "WHITE OAK, 242
BOARD FEET AT BEST."
THE FOREMAN SPINS THE TRUCK AROUND AND HEADS BACK TO THE OFFICE A LITTLE
TICKED OFF BECAUSE HE THINKS EEL IS SMARTER THAN HE IS. AS THEY
NEAR THE OFFICE, ANOTHER FOREMAN STOPS THE TRUCK AND ASKS EEL TO STEP
OUTSIDE.
HE HANDS HIM A PIECE OF CHALK AND TELLS HIM, "SEE THAT TREE OVER THERE?"
"I WANT YOU TO MARK AN X ON THE FRONT OF THAT TREE!!"
THE FOREMAN THINKS TO HIMSELF, "IDIOT, HOW WOULD HE KNOW WHICH IS THE
FRONT OF THE TREE?"
WHEN EEL REACHES THE TREE, HE GOES AROUND IT IN A CIRCLE WHILE LOOKING
AT THE GROUND. HE THEN REACHES UP AND PLACES A WHITE X ON THE TRUNK.
HE WALKS BACK TO THE FOREMAN AND HANDS HIM THE CHALK. "THAT THAR'S THE
FRONT," EEL SAYS.
THE FOREMAN LAUGHS TO HIMSELF AND ASKS SARCASTICALLY, "HOW IN THE HELL DO
YOU KNOW THAT'S THE FRONT OF THE TREE?"
EEL LOOKS DOWN AT HIS FEET, WHILE RUBBING THE TOE OF HIS LEFT
BOOT CLEANING IT IN THE GRAVEL AND REPLIES, "CUZ SOMEBODY TOOK A #####
BEHIND IT!"
HE GOT THE JOB.
TRUE STORY!
