A REDNECK FROM GEORGIA DECIDES TO TRAVEL
ACROSS THE SOUTH TO VIRGINIA TO SEE GOD'S COUNTRY.
WHEN HE GETS TO FRANKLIN , HE LIKES THE
PLACE SO MUCH THAT HE DECIDES TO STAY. BUT FIRST HE MUST FIND A JOB!!!!
HE WALKS INTO THE INTERNATIONAL PAPER
COMPANY OFFICE AND FILLS OUT AN APPLICATION AS AN EXPERIENCED LOG INSPECTOR.
IT'S HIS LUCKY DAY!!! THEY JUST HAPPEN TO BE LOOKING FOR SOMEONE, BUT
FIRST, THE LOG FOREMAN TAKES HIM FOR A RIDE INTO THE FOREST IN THE COMPANY
PICKUP TRUCK TO SEE HOW MUCH HE KNOWS.
THE FOREMAN STOPS THE TRUCK ON THE SIDE OF
THE ROAD AND POINTS AT A TREE 'SEE THAT TREE OVER THERE? I WANT YOU TO TELL
ME WHAT SPECIES IT IS AND HOW MANY BOARD FEET OF LUMBER IT CONTAINS.'
THE REDNECK PROMPTLY ANSWERS, 'THAT THAR'S A
WHITEPINE, 383 BOARD FEET OF LUMBER IN 'ER.'
THE FOREMAN IS IMPRESSED!!! HE PUTS THE
TRUCK IN MOTION AND STOPS ABOUT A MILE DOWN THE ROAD. HE POINTS AT ANOTHER
TREE THROUGH THE PASSENGER WINDOW AND ASKS THE SAME QUESTION. THIS TIME,
IT'S A BIGGER TREE OF A DIFFERENT CLASS.
'THAT'S A LOBLOLLY PINE AND SHE'S GOT ABOUT
456 CLEAR BOARD FEET.'
THE FOREMAN IS REALLY IMPRESSED WITH THE
GOOD OL' BOY, HE HAS BEEN QUICK AND GOT THE ANSWERS RIGHT WITHOUT USING A
CALCULATOR!!!!
ONE MORE TEST. THEY DRIVE A LITTLE FURTHER
DOWN THE ROAD, AND THE FOREMAN STOPS AGAIN. THIS TIME, HE POINTS ACROSS THE
ROAD THROUGH HIS DRIVER SIDE WINDOW AND SAYS, 'AND WHAT ABOUT THAT ONE?'
BEFORE THE FOREMAN FINISHES POINTING, THE
REDNECK SAYS, 'WHITE OAK, 242 BOARD FEET AT BEST.'
THE FOREMAN SPINS THE TRUCK AROUND AND HEADS
BACK TO THE OFFICE A LITTLE TICKED OFF BECAUSE HE THINKS THE RED NECK IS
SMARTER THAN HE IS. AS THEY NEAR THE OFFICE, THE FOREMAN STOPS THE TRUCK AND
ASKS BUBBA TO STEP OUTSIDE.
HE HANDS HIM A PIECE OF CHALK AND TELLS HIM,
'SEE THAT TREE OVER THERE?' 'I WANT YOU TO MARK AN X ON THE FRONT OF THAT
TREE!!'
THE FOREMAN THINKS TO HIMSELF, 'IDIOT, HOW
WOULD HE KNOW WHICH IS THE FRONT OF THE TREE?'
WHEN BUBBA REACHES THE TREE, HE GOES AROUND
IT IN A CIRCLE WHILE LOOKING AT THE GROUND. HE THEN REACHES UP AND PLACES A
WHITE X ON THE TRUNK.
HE WALKS BACK TO THE FOREMAN AND HANDS HIM
THE CHALK. 'THAT THAR'S THE FRONT,' THE REDNECK SAYS.
THE FOREMAN LAUGHS TO HIMSELF AND ASKS
SARCASTICALLY, 'HOW IN THE HELL DO YOU KNOW THAT'S THE FRONT OF THE TREE?'
THE GOOD OL' BOY LOOKS DOWN AT HIS FEET,
WHILE RUBBING THE TOE OF HIS LEFT BOOT CLEANING IT IN THE GRAVEL AND
REPLIES, 'CUZ SOMEBODY TOOK A CRAP BEHIND IT!'
HE GOT THE JOB AND IS NOW THE FOREMAN!!!!!
ACROSS THE SOUTH TO VIRGINIA TO SEE GOD'S COUNTRY.
WHEN HE GETS TO FRANKLIN , HE LIKES THE
PLACE SO MUCH THAT HE DECIDES TO STAY. BUT FIRST HE MUST FIND A JOB!!!!
HE WALKS INTO THE INTERNATIONAL PAPER
COMPANY OFFICE AND FILLS OUT AN APPLICATION AS AN EXPERIENCED LOG INSPECTOR.
IT'S HIS LUCKY DAY!!! THEY JUST HAPPEN TO BE LOOKING FOR SOMEONE, BUT
FIRST, THE LOG FOREMAN TAKES HIM FOR A RIDE INTO THE FOREST IN THE COMPANY
PICKUP TRUCK TO SEE HOW MUCH HE KNOWS.
THE FOREMAN STOPS THE TRUCK ON THE SIDE OF
THE ROAD AND POINTS AT A TREE 'SEE THAT TREE OVER THERE? I WANT YOU TO TELL
ME WHAT SPECIES IT IS AND HOW MANY BOARD FEET OF LUMBER IT CONTAINS.'
THE REDNECK PROMPTLY ANSWERS, 'THAT THAR'S A
WHITEPINE, 383 BOARD FEET OF LUMBER IN 'ER.'
THE FOREMAN IS IMPRESSED!!! HE PUTS THE
TRUCK IN MOTION AND STOPS ABOUT A MILE DOWN THE ROAD. HE POINTS AT ANOTHER
TREE THROUGH THE PASSENGER WINDOW AND ASKS THE SAME QUESTION. THIS TIME,
IT'S A BIGGER TREE OF A DIFFERENT CLASS.
'THAT'S A LOBLOLLY PINE AND SHE'S GOT ABOUT
456 CLEAR BOARD FEET.'
THE FOREMAN IS REALLY IMPRESSED WITH THE
GOOD OL' BOY, HE HAS BEEN QUICK AND GOT THE ANSWERS RIGHT WITHOUT USING A
CALCULATOR!!!!
ONE MORE TEST. THEY DRIVE A LITTLE FURTHER
DOWN THE ROAD, AND THE FOREMAN STOPS AGAIN. THIS TIME, HE POINTS ACROSS THE
ROAD THROUGH HIS DRIVER SIDE WINDOW AND SAYS, 'AND WHAT ABOUT THAT ONE?'
BEFORE THE FOREMAN FINISHES POINTING, THE
REDNECK SAYS, 'WHITE OAK, 242 BOARD FEET AT BEST.'
THE FOREMAN SPINS THE TRUCK AROUND AND HEADS
BACK TO THE OFFICE A LITTLE TICKED OFF BECAUSE HE THINKS THE RED NECK IS
SMARTER THAN HE IS. AS THEY NEAR THE OFFICE, THE FOREMAN STOPS THE TRUCK AND
ASKS BUBBA TO STEP OUTSIDE.
HE HANDS HIM A PIECE OF CHALK AND TELLS HIM,
'SEE THAT TREE OVER THERE?' 'I WANT YOU TO MARK AN X ON THE FRONT OF THAT
TREE!!'
THE FOREMAN THINKS TO HIMSELF, 'IDIOT, HOW
WOULD HE KNOW WHICH IS THE FRONT OF THE TREE?'
WHEN BUBBA REACHES THE TREE, HE GOES AROUND
IT IN A CIRCLE WHILE LOOKING AT THE GROUND. HE THEN REACHES UP AND PLACES A
WHITE X ON THE TRUNK.
HE WALKS BACK TO THE FOREMAN AND HANDS HIM
THE CHALK. 'THAT THAR'S THE FRONT,' THE REDNECK SAYS.
THE FOREMAN LAUGHS TO HIMSELF AND ASKS
SARCASTICALLY, 'HOW IN THE HELL DO YOU KNOW THAT'S THE FRONT OF THE TREE?'
THE GOOD OL' BOY LOOKS DOWN AT HIS FEET,
WHILE RUBBING THE TOE OF HIS LEFT BOOT CLEANING IT IN THE GRAVEL AND
REPLIES, 'CUZ SOMEBODY TOOK A CRAP BEHIND IT!'
HE GOT THE JOB AND IS NOW THE FOREMAN!!!!!
