tylercreek2
Very Active Member
- Messages
- 1,926
i thought these were pretty funny,,, 
>>>>
>
> Can you believe these true stories from our Congress/our
> representatives or their flunkies in Washington? Enjoy!
>>
>> Why our country is in trouble
>>
>> A DC airport ticket agent offers some examples of 'why' our country
> is in
> trouble!
>>
>> 1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman (Carol Shea-Porter) ask for
> an aisle
> seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the
> window. (On
> an airplane!)
>>
>> 2. I got a call from a Kansas Congressman's (Moore) staffer (Howard
> Bauleke), who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the
> length of
> the flight and the passport information, and then he interrupted me
> with,
> ''I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in
> Massachusetts
> .''
>>
>> Without trying to make him look stupid, I calmly explained, ''Cape
> Cod is
> in Massachusetts , Capetown is in Africa ''
>>
>> his response -- click.
>>
>> 3. A senior Vermont Congressman (Bernie Sanders) called, furious
> about a
> Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in
> Orlando
> . He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain
> that's not
> possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state.
>>
>> He replied, 'don't lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida is a
> very
> thin state!'' (OMG)
>>
>> 4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife (Landra Reid) who asked,
> ''Is it
> possible to see England from Canada ?''
>>
>> I said, ''No.''
>>
>> She said, ''But they look so close on the map.'' (OMG, again!)
>>
>> 5. An aide for a cabinet member (Janet Napolitano) once called and
> asked if he could rent a car in Dallas . I pulled up the reservation
> and noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas . When I asked him
> why he wanted to rent a car, he said, ''I heard Dallas was a big
> airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save
> time.'' (Aghhhh)
>>
>> 6. An Illinois Congresswoman (Jan Schakowsky) called last week.
> She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit
> left at 8:30 a.m., and got to Chicago at 8:33a.m.
>>
>> I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois , but she
> couldn't
> understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane
> went
> fast, and she bought that.
>>
>> 7. A New York lawmaker, (Jerrold Nadler) called and asked, ''Do
> airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose
> luggage belongs to whom?'' I said, 'No, why do you ask?' he replied,
> ''Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on
> my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that's very
> rude!''
>>
>> After putting him on hold for a minute, while I looked into it. (I
> was
> dying laughing). I came back and explained the city code for Fresno ,
> Ca. is (FAT - Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting
> a destination tag on his luggage..
>>
>>
>> 8. A Senator John Kerry aide (Lindsay Ross) called to inquire about
> a trip package to Hawaii . After going over all the cost info, she
> asked, ''Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the
> train to Hawaii ?''
>>
>> 9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman, Bobby
> Bright (D) from Ala who asked, ''How do I know which plane to get
> on?''
> I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, ''I was told
> my
> flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on
> them.''
>>
>> 10. Senator Dianne Feinstein (D) called and said, ''I need to fly to
> Pepsi-Cola , Florida . Do I have to get on one of those little
> computer
> planes?''
>>
>> I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola , FL on a commuter plane.
>>
>> She said, ''Yeah, whatever, smarty!''
>>
>> 11. Mary Landrieu (D) La. Senator called and had a question about
> the
> documents she needed in order to fly to China . After a lengthy
> discussion
> about passports, I reminded her that she needed a visa. 'Oh, no I
> don't.
> I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those.''
>>
>> I double checked and sure enough, her stay required a visa. When I
> told
> her this she said, ''Look, I've been to China four times and every
> time they
> have accepted my American Express!''
>>
>> 12. A New Jersey Congressman (John Adler) called to make
> reservations, ''I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York .''
>>
>> I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, ''Are you sure that's
> the name
> of the town?''
>>
>> 'Yes, what flights do you have?'' replied the man.
>>
>> After some searching, I came back with, ''I'm sorry, sir, I've
> looked up
> every airport code in the country and can't find a rhino anywhere."
>>
>> ''The man retorted, ''Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it
> is.
> Check your map!''
>>
>> So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered,
> ''You
> don't mean Buffalo , do you?''
>>
>> The reply? ''Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.''
>>>>
>
> Can you believe these true stories from our Congress/our
> representatives or their flunkies in Washington? Enjoy!
>>
>> Why our country is in trouble
>>
>> A DC airport ticket agent offers some examples of 'why' our country
> is in
> trouble!
>>
>> 1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman (Carol Shea-Porter) ask for
> an aisle
> seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the
> window. (On
> an airplane!)
>>
>> 2. I got a call from a Kansas Congressman's (Moore) staffer (Howard
> Bauleke), who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the
> length of
> the flight and the passport information, and then he interrupted me
> with,
> ''I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in
> Massachusetts
> .''
>>
>> Without trying to make him look stupid, I calmly explained, ''Cape
> Cod is
> in Massachusetts , Capetown is in Africa ''
>>
>> his response -- click.
>>
>> 3. A senior Vermont Congressman (Bernie Sanders) called, furious
> about a
> Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in
> Orlando
> . He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain
> that's not
> possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state.
>>
>> He replied, 'don't lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida is a
> very
> thin state!'' (OMG)
>>
>> 4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife (Landra Reid) who asked,
> ''Is it
> possible to see England from Canada ?''
>>
>> I said, ''No.''
>>
>> She said, ''But they look so close on the map.'' (OMG, again!)
>>
>> 5. An aide for a cabinet member (Janet Napolitano) once called and
> asked if he could rent a car in Dallas . I pulled up the reservation
> and noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas . When I asked him
> why he wanted to rent a car, he said, ''I heard Dallas was a big
> airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save
> time.'' (Aghhhh)
>>
>> 6. An Illinois Congresswoman (Jan Schakowsky) called last week.
> She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit
> left at 8:30 a.m., and got to Chicago at 8:33a.m.
>>
>> I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois , but she
> couldn't
> understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane
> went
> fast, and she bought that.
>>
>> 7. A New York lawmaker, (Jerrold Nadler) called and asked, ''Do
> airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose
> luggage belongs to whom?'' I said, 'No, why do you ask?' he replied,
> ''Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on
> my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that's very
> rude!''
>>
>> After putting him on hold for a minute, while I looked into it. (I
> was
> dying laughing). I came back and explained the city code for Fresno ,
> Ca. is (FAT - Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting
> a destination tag on his luggage..
>>
>>
>> 8. A Senator John Kerry aide (Lindsay Ross) called to inquire about
> a trip package to Hawaii . After going over all the cost info, she
> asked, ''Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the
> train to Hawaii ?''
>>
>> 9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman, Bobby
> Bright (D) from Ala who asked, ''How do I know which plane to get
> on?''
> I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, ''I was told
> my
> flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on
> them.''
>>
>> 10. Senator Dianne Feinstein (D) called and said, ''I need to fly to
> Pepsi-Cola , Florida . Do I have to get on one of those little
> computer
> planes?''
>>
>> I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola , FL on a commuter plane.
>>
>> She said, ''Yeah, whatever, smarty!''
>>
>> 11. Mary Landrieu (D) La. Senator called and had a question about
> the
> documents she needed in order to fly to China . After a lengthy
> discussion
> about passports, I reminded her that she needed a visa. 'Oh, no I
> don't.
> I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those.''
>>
>> I double checked and sure enough, her stay required a visa. When I
> told
> her this she said, ''Look, I've been to China four times and every
> time they
> have accepted my American Express!''
>>
>> 12. A New Jersey Congressman (John Adler) called to make
> reservations, ''I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York .''
>>
>> I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, ''Are you sure that's
> the name
> of the town?''
>>
>> 'Yes, what flights do you have?'' replied the man.
>>
>> After some searching, I came back with, ''I'm sorry, sir, I've
> looked up
> every airport code in the country and can't find a rhino anywhere."
>>
>> ''The man retorted, ''Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it
> is.
> Check your map!''
>>
>> So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered,
> ''You
> don't mean Buffalo , do you?''
>>
>> The reply? ''Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.''
