Foot in Mouth

[Feleno]

Well I did it again. No, didn't leave the wife anywhere but I managed to embarrass my wife I guess. So last night we went to dinner with some old friends. Actually my wife's friends, I don't really care for the lady and her husband has no personality. I hadn't see them in 3+ years as they don't live nearby. So we meet at a restaurant and the small talk begins. Somehow, somewhere I was under the impression the lady friend was pregnant. I made the simple statement "boy or girl". I get a strange look from my wife and I got the "what the F are you talking about" stare from the lady. I thought she didn't hear me so I said it again. To me it was obvious she was pregnant. I guess not so obvious because she WASN'T pregnant, she just got FAT. Mind you I thought I heard she was pregnant so my question seemed to not be out of line. Anyway we all kind of chuckled over me being a dumbarse and the night ended up to be kind of fun. I KNOW some of you guys out there have said something similar. My wife is going to view this so please tell her its a common mistake or how you could understand it happening.

Regards
Feleno in da Doghouse

 

[cjboz]

LMAO F-er. It was not your fault she went back to the buffet 4 times...you just the she was eating for two right??

 

[beavis14]

yep done that one on accident and on purpose . great for those much needed below the knee shots ! and although i shouldn't admit i have been asked when my baby is due numerous times ! but have lost 22 lbs so far this year. hopefully that comment wont happen again.......

 

[knthartter]

Sorry Feleno, Can't say I ever did anything like that....hehe...Did one worse though. Was at the beach with my girlfriend, now my wife (had just divorced the girl I had been with for 15 years)when I made a BIG slip of the tunge. We were sitting there talking to some of her friends when I saw a volley ball flying towards her head, So I yelled look out Holli. One problem her name is Theresa, oh yes my exs name was Holli. I payed for that for a long time.

 

[never_catch]

Dear Mrs. F-dude,

We all know it's not your husbands fault that your friend got fat...please don't be mad at him for thinking she was pregnant as that's most likely not his fault either. Forgiveness is tough sometimes but I think if you have a big steak dinner hot n ready when your husband gets home tonight, all will be ok ;-)

~Z~

 

[Feleno]

Boz
She didn't hit the buffet line but she was the FIRST TO CHIME IN ABOUT GETTING DESSERT!!!

beav
I'm to old to say something like that on purpose. To afraid to.

 

[nickman]

F Dude, I had you on for a quicker thinker than that!

An honest mistake, but an opportunity lost.

At the point when she stated she was NOT pregnant, you should have instantly responded with,

"Well, get any fatter and you likely will NEVER get pregnant again!"

What the Hell, you were already in trouble....go deep, I always say!

"whackin' a surly bartender ain't much of a crime"

 

[Feleno]

Thanks for the support gentlemen.

nick you are a quicker thinker than I was and twice as bold . It was already well past my snooze time and my wife knows I don't like to go out late or on weekdays so I'm placing partial blame on her.

 

[rugarm77]

Sounds like you may be the one getting left at the next gas station stop?? LOL

To F-Dudes wife, this stuff happens more than you would think !!! I am sure of it, can't think of any examples right off hand but I know it happens almost everyday??? LMAO!!!!

 

[kingfish]

I did the same thing at a wedding reception in front of about 30 people!!! We were standing around in a big group and one of the gals I knew from high school was standing there holding her two year old.( She absolutly looked atleast 7 months pregnant ) So I casually said in my sexiest suave voice "So Sandy, that's pretty awesome having a two year old and one on the way" congrats.........gulp!

SILENCE............It's one of those moments one never forgets...

I FEEL YOUR PAIN FELENO.

 

[NVBighorn]

F'Dude, Can't say I ever did that although I've come close and even thought about it a time or two. I did however do something more like knthartter's faux pas.

Once at a party my wife and I were having, an old flame of mine and her husband were invited. I introduced my wife to the old flames husband and got totally turned around mid sentence. Intro'd MY wife to HER husband but used HER name. (names have been changed to protract the incident) Lets assume for illustration that HER husband's name is Bob, HER name is Betty and my wife's name is Jill.

What I was going to say was:
"Bob this is my wife, Jill. Jill, Bob is Betty's husband".

The words that came from my mouth (as I had an out of body experience and watched the train wreck in slo-mo) were:

"Hey Bob, this is my wife Betty".

Let's just say that Bob was taken aback, Jill was pissed beyond belief, and Betty had a damn good laugh. Oh yeah, and NVB slept on the couch.

Really Mrs F'Dude, it could be worse.

 

[driftersifter]

Dear Mrs. Feleno
This recurring neglectful behavior could be a symptom of something far more sinister. Judging from Feleno's posts he is far more clever than this. I'd keep carefull watch of that checkbook and credit cards, I smell an out of state hunt lurking in his future.
Yours in spirit.
Driftersifter

 

[B_BOP_A_LU_LU]

Well Ms Feleno!

Hope You're keeping an EYE on F'ers EYES?

He checks Em out,I mean from head to toe!

We are Men!

We are Crude,Rude,Dudes!(Sometimes,Not Always!)

Just wait till He pops off at the Dinner table on that other Friend that just got the New DD's!

I don't care if they're big or small!
If they throw lead I like em all!

 

[GotBowAz]

I have never done it but I sure witnessed my wife do it. We were in Jamaica on our honeymoon in an all inclusive Sandals resort for couples only. We had met several couples and were dining with one of them. The young lady got up from the table and my wife blurted out in a very serious tone, so when are you due? The lady really did look about 6 or 7 months pregnant but even at that I still wouldn't have asked that question. She said she wasn?t and I was so embarrassed for my wife and myself that I wanted to get up and leave. Talked to my wife later about it and she told me she swore she was pregnant. So Mrs. F?er, it really can happen to anyone?Just be glad it wasn?t you instead.

GBA

 

[Paul_Crawford]

Been there. Done that, but worse. My very first year of teaching school I had a very tall/thin gal as my boss. She was the principal. Later in the year it began to look like she'd swallowed a bowling ball. One day I asked her when the baby was due. Wrong question. It's a wonder I got to keep my job....pc

 

[mntman]

I have never said the pregnant one but at work once I had just got off the phone with Sam _____ from another shop. This guy was worthless as the represenative, every time I called him I got upset cause he didn't know crap. Well, that day I was already upset so I went off in my own little world. Talking all this crap about Sam for about 4 or 5 minutes. The second I got done, my boss 10' away says, Sam _____ he is my brother in law.
I tried crawling under the carpet but the lump was just to obvious... He walked out a couple minutes later and the entire office erupted in laughter. They all knew it was his brother in law but they failed to tell me.... Thought I was going to be looking for a new job that day....
Mntman

"Hunting is where you prove yourself"

 

[Wiszard]

You are a complete douche, Feleno! I have no idea what this post is about....I just have always wanted to say that.

Steve
Derkha derkha Muhammed jihad hakha sherpha sherpha abakhala- Gary of Team America World Police

 

[Gator]

I think he just wanted to go home early, kick his ass to the curb or leave him at the next gas station.

"I have found if you go the extra mile it's Never crowded".

 

[Feleno]

Thanks guys. There are some darn funny stories there far worse than what I did. And I thought I looked like a fool but feel much better now

Its just enivitable, we'll all stick our foot in our mouths at some point, I just seem to do it more than most. Maybe there really is something wrong with me as my wife swears to.

 

[grizzmoose]

Ill make a long story short. I went bowling with my wife and her brother, and his brand new wife. We went to the counter to get a lane and saw the ultimate mullet, wife beater wearin dude youve ever seen working the shoes. Just as a quick joke, I said to my bro-in-law, "Man, if ever quit, where would you find a replacement like that? Maybe put a help wanted sign in the local trailer park club house?" I thought it was funny. No one else did. Not a single peep. When the two of them went off to search out a bowling ball, my wife elbows me in the ribs and says, "Nice one, idiot! They just moved into a trailer park." Oops!

 

[Wiszard]

Trailer park jokes never get old!!

Steve
Derkha derkha Muhammed jihad hakha sherpha sherpha abakhala- Gary of Team America World Police

 

[B_BOP_A_LU_LU]

Up there on Post # 10!

Sure sounds like Sancho was slipping!

I don't care if they're big or small!
If they throw lead I like em all!

 

[zekers]

Normally I've got your back F-dude, but damn, that's one of those things you learn in grade school. NEVER mention that. My wife has a co-worker who is pregnant and she blows up daily on chicks mentioning it. Danged if you do...danged if you don't.
Mrs. F-dude
Please take it easy on him. His good points far outweigh is simpleton mistakes. Plus, he's not above leaving your butt at the gas station!
Hope that helps F-er!

 

[HorseCreek]

You'da been better off leaving your wife at the gas station again...No justifying that one!lmao


Traditional >>>------->

 

[Roy]

Dear Mrs. F,

Well you see, this sort of problem is um, well.

Well it's like this - we men just... well, we uhh...





Nope sorry buddy - looks like you are on your own on this one!


One time on the mission while learning to speak Spanish made two critical errors with the language and ended up asking a sister from Venezuela if I could wash her cooter instead of the dishes. Didn't go over to well but her gringo husband and my companion both got a heck of a laugh out of it!


UTROY
Proverbs 21:19 (why I hunt!)

 

[wvbowhunterinalaska]

While I was in college back in WV, first time I ever took my new girlfriend home to meet my parents, I screwed up her last name. I thought her name was Patterson, in actual fact it was Tatterson. She had told me this over the phone and as a youngster I had several bad ear infections that left me without a small percentage of my original hearing. Not only that but Patterson is a more common name than Tatterson, so I just ASSumed that her last name began with a P rather than a T. Yeah up until we split up she never let me live that one down. So I feel for you Feleno, hope the doghouse stay is a short one.
WVBOWAK

 

[nickman]

FireMarshmellowBill......you are getting close to being a seriously obnoxious "reproproductive organ".....in your case, a bathtub toy!

"whackin' a surly bartender ain't much of a crime"