OutdoorWriter
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LAST EDITED ON Sep-13-09 AT 09:46AM (MST)[p] A New Direction for any War: Send Service Vets over 60!
I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to
track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to
join the military.
They've got the whole thing
ass-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to
fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be
able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.
For starters: Researchers say 18-year-olds think about
sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a
couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000
additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.
Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a
cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts!
I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry' We are impatient
and maybe letting us kill some a-hole that desperately
deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for
a while.
An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10
a.m. Old guys always get up early to pee so what the
hell.. Besides, like I said, 'I'm tired and can't sleep
and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing
some fanatical sob....
If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd
forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and
serial number would be a real brainteaser.
Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to
getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft
food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns.
We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out
of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.
They could lighten up on the obstacle course however.
I've been in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall
with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any
push ups after completing basic training.
Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy,
too. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.
An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's
still learning to shave, to start up a conversation with
a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a
baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back
of his head.
These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to
learn a little more about life before sending them off
into harm's way.
Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward
terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is
a couple of million pissed off old farts with attitudes
and automatic weapons who know that their best years are
already behind them.
***How about recruiting Women over 50 ...with PMS !!!
You think Men have attitudes !!! Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!!
If nothing else, put us on border patrol......we will
have it secured the first night!
TONY MANDILE
How To Hunt Coues Deer
I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to
track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to
join the military.
They've got the whole thing
ass-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to
fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be
able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.
For starters: Researchers say 18-year-olds think about
sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a
couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000
additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.
Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a
cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts!
I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry' We are impatient
and maybe letting us kill some a-hole that desperately
deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for
a while.
An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10
a.m. Old guys always get up early to pee so what the
hell.. Besides, like I said, 'I'm tired and can't sleep
and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing
some fanatical sob....
If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd
forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and
serial number would be a real brainteaser.
Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to
getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft
food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns.
We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out
of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.
They could lighten up on the obstacle course however.
I've been in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall
with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any
push ups after completing basic training.
Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy,
too. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.
An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's
still learning to shave, to start up a conversation with
a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a
baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back
of his head.
These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to
learn a little more about life before sending them off
into harm's way.
Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward
terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is
a couple of million pissed off old farts with attitudes
and automatic weapons who know that their best years are
already behind them.
***How about recruiting Women over 50 ...with PMS !!!
You think Men have attitudes !!! Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!!
If nothing else, put us on border patrol......we will
have it secured the first night!
TONY MANDILE
How To Hunt Coues Deer
