Buddy hunt ethics help.

J

JB148

Guest
Last year a friend drew a good Nevada antelope tag. He was going to get an outfitter, decided no to as a mutual friend had bow hunted the unit the prior year and killed a 77" inch buck. He decided to have the two of us help. Buddy Carl offered to take his truck and trailer, for the friend with the tag. I am still steamed about the hunt. In the end I paid over $500 dollars for gas and food, buddy Carl put about $300 plus in gas to help the friend with the tag. Friend with the tag is doing well financially money no issue. Am I just being a jackass for helping to pay for his hunt. He killed an 80 plus inch buck. I need some guidance here still bugs me.
 
I suppose that if you guys didn't discuss it up front there are no obligations. Did he look at it as a mutually beneficial time for all three of you or did he give the impression that you two were going as guides as a favor? Did he solicit your help or did you freely offer?

Regardless, if it is going to be the undoing of a friendship and you value the friendship, then you best address it with him. If your going to stew on it, in time it will cost the friendship so you either let it go and move on or you address it with him.
 
Don't get Pissed about helping a friend out.
Don't ever do the Math.
Or You'll be mad the rest of your life.
Hunt,Hunt with Friends,take the money out of the Picture & enjoy Life,you're only gonna live once,might as well have a little fun while doing it.


Hot Dog,Hot Damn,I love this Ameri-can
 
I believe the previous post was wisdom.

In MY world, the guy who comes along to help carry, would not have bought gas in the first place; I don't understand your method of operations.

BUT...either forget it, go talk to him or your friendship will be over.


Within the shadows, go quietly.
 
+1 STTM

You can't put a price on friendship. I hunt with friends on their tags quite often. Sometimes they buy fuel, sometimes food, sometimes neither. I never expect them to. I go because I enjoy it and I always go expecting to foot my own bill.
 
Thanks for the input. My last help trip a few weeks ago, I helped a friend and expect to foot my own gas. Year before on anothe elk trip helping payed my own gas, food provided by the hunter. I guess because the buddy with the tag has less experience we should have been more upfront about expenses.He asked for our help to guide him. The three of us have been life long friends, no worth stewing over.
 
When my buddy went a week early last year to moose hunt with me I paid for everything,then when we started the part of our elk hunt we split everything
 
Forget about the $$$. A friendship is far more important.

The next time you hunt with him, just ask him up front (if the cost really bothers you) if its ok to share gas and fuel costs. I'll bet he will be glad to do it.

Good hunting partners are hard to come by!!!
 
Happens all the time around here.

You need to forget it and go on, otherwise you will let it interfere with the rest of your hunting experiences.

Some people just don't have a clue as to what is right or fair and by now, it is probably too late for them to learn.

Hopefully, they have other qualities that can override this.

Help when you can and keep the high ground.

"If God did not intend for man to hunt animals, he would have made broccoli more fun to shoot"
 
>Don't get Pissed about helping a
>friend out.
>Don't ever do the Math.
>Or You'll be mad the rest
>of your life.
>Hunt,Hunt with Friends,take the money out
>of the Picture & enjoy
>Life,you're only gonna live once,might
>as well have a little
>fun while doing it.
>
>
>Hot Dog,Hot Damn,I love this Ameri-can
>

This is some of the best advice that has been given lately here on MM...


horsepoop.gif


Disclaimer:
The poster does not take any responsibility for any hurt or bad feelings. Reading threads poses inherent risks. The poster would like to remind readers to make sure they have a functional sense of humor before they visit any discussion board.
 
Yeah I am getting it water under the bridge. The person doing the math for me at the time was my wife, wanting to know how I burned through over $500 bucks and didn't have a tag. I agree with Nickman as well. Friend had no clue. Thnaks for the input. JB
 
Well my friend, there in lies the problem! Never, and mean NEVER, let your wife know what you spend on hunting. Get yourself a little rathole of money and use it for your hunts. Believe me, she is more than likely making up her "equal" share at the mall. :)
 
LAST EDITED ON Nov-13-11 AT 10:59PM (MST)[p]Just tell the wife the 500 bucks was spent at the Moonlite Ranch and you enjoyed every dollar of it.

RELH
 
>>Don't get Pissed about helping a
>>friend out.
>>Don't ever do the Math.
>>Or You'll be mad the rest
>>of your life.
>>Hunt,Hunt with Friends,take the money out
>>of the Picture & enjoy
>>Life,you're only gonna live once,might
>>as well have a little
>>fun while doing it.
>>
>>
>>Hot Dog,Hot Damn,I love this Ameri-can
>>
>
>This is some of the best
>advice that has been given
>lately here on MM...



2nd to eating raw bear meat!!!
>
>
>
horsepoop.gif

>
>Disclaimer:
>The poster does not take any
>responsibility for any hurt or
>bad feelings. Reading threads poses
>inherent risks. The poster would
>like to remind readers to
>make sure they have a
>functional sense of humor before
>they visit any discussion board.
>
 
LOL

horsepoop.gif


Disclaimer:
The poster does not take any responsibility for any hurt or bad feelings. Reading threads poses inherent risks. The poster would like to remind readers to make sure they have a functional sense of humor before they visit any discussion board.
 
I figured there was another problem that was not brought up in the original post. You better forget about the money, and explain the value of friendship to your wife.
 
Myself, anybody that has helped me in my hunts at least has been offered expense money. It's not cheap to travel, getting there, or keep a rig going out on the backroads. Though some turn it down, i'll at least offer.

When it's the other way around, sure, i might accept a tank of gas or some meals but i won't go unless i could afford to on my own or have my cash flow situation/needs well understood up front.

I agree that with good friends, it's never a good practice to, "keep score"!

Joey


"It's all about knowing what your firearms practical limitations are and combining that with your own personal limitations!"
 
Discussion BEFORE the hunt.

Dude, I would love to come help you on that antelope hunt, but if my wife finds out that I am spending 500 bones on gas, with NO tag she will kill me.

Friend, Well I understand that, my wife is still pissed about the rifle I bought, and I do have a tag...so let me give you 300 for gas, or never mind I cannot afford any more than I am spending, but thanks!

How does that sound, BEFORE THE HUNT :)
 
No offense man, but I don't understand why in the hell your complaining about having to spend money for your own pleasure? I understand it WASN'T your hunt, and your buddy talked you into going, but if your like any of us avid outdoorsman, we would volunteer to help a buddy out knowing we would have just as much fun, if not more than your buddy who has the tag. It was said earlier, but you can't pay enough for experiences in the outdoors with good friends and family.
 
Maybe I don't get the situation, but I would never have expected the buddy to pay my expenses. If I want to help, I cover my own costs, and help as my schedule and willingness allows. I'm not there to do all the chores and act like a guide, but for my own enjoyment and the satisfaction of helping a friend.
In fact, if you accept much in the way of compensation from your friend, many states consider this "guiding", and you can get into big trouble if not licensed. Sounds to me like you were hoping for a windfall (tip?), and were disappointed to foot your own bill. I'm not so sure you were there to help, but actually expecting to be paid as an unlicensed guide. Maybe I am reading too much into your post, but agree you need to move on.
Bill
 
This season, my dad asked me if I would like to tag along on his deer and antelope hunt to Montana. We hunted there together back in the early 80's. Dad is now 83 and I would have loved to go but, I haven't worked in 18 months and every dollar is saved to pay the bills. What dad and his buddy really needed was another guy to go along to split the driving time(his hunting buddy is mid 50's). He said if I wanted to come along he would pay for my gas. As much as I would have liked to go and spend the week with my dad, I just looked at him in disbelief and said, "you will be paying for YOUR gas whether I go or not". I explained(he knew anyways) my financial situation and said that if he paid for my meals, the lodging was free, that I would love to go. He told me, "if paying for the gas wasn't enough I could just stay home" OUCH!!
 
you deffinatly have a "buddy hunt ethics" problem. YOUR the buddy, and YOU have the ethics problem.

if you agreed to go "help" him, than you foot your own bill, unless otherwise stated UP FRONT.

typical oregon hunter mentality. bet you didn't pay for all the "help" you had in utah.....
 
LAST EDITED ON Nov-14-11 AT 11:47PM (MST)[p]I have asked a friend if he would like to tag along on three of my last four out out state hunts, 2 in nm and one in Or. He mentioned he probably couldn't afford it. My reply was " I'm going whether you're in the seat or not. You can toss in a few dollars for groceries and Golden Corral but other than that, it's a free trip."

It All depends on your relationship.
 
Well nice to see all of the opinions, and I agree friendship first.

300Wby I did pay HorneyMan whom I had never met, he came down to help for a few days on my elk hunt. I provided gas money for him. He didnt want it but made him take it. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Regarding the wife, have to run it by her she is the one giving me the time off, and pretty much just lets me go. Last year she let me bow hunt Oregon, hunt Utah, and go to Kansas to deer hunt. No complaints from her. As far as the moonlight ranch that would have been nice.
 
Little standard I live by that I learned a long time ago regarding money.

If someone i know needs money, I will never saddle them with the obligation of a loan. If I have it to lend them, I need to be willing to just give it to them. I don't want anyone being a "slave" to me. Same goes for your situation, if that money leaves you wallet, you need to be willing to give it and give it freely. Now, that doesn't mean you don't live and learn by this and have a plan set up prior so everyone knows they are splitting the bill. But once that money leaves your wallet, have the mindset that its gone and you'll never see it again. It actually does more for you than the person you're doing it for. Its freeing not to have to worry about it. Now I read your posts and I know you've let it go which is very cool and wise of you. You can also explain it this way to your wife. Wives have a way of putting pressure on you about money and friends.

Not trying to stir the pot but my woman doesn't "let" me do sh!t. She also doesn't "give" me time off. We discuss things of course but that crap don't fly with me! I work damn hard for the money I make and 90% of the year I'm home with the kids and if I'm going hunting, she can come or she can stay but I'm going hunting.

Now my ex-wife, that was a different story and thats why she's my ex wife.

"The deadliest weapon in the world is a Marine and his rifle." General John J. "Black Jack" Pershing, US Army
"Most men go through life wondering if they made a difference, Marines don't have that problem." President Ronald Regan
 
When a friend accompanies me I like to give them something in return. Like maybe a worn out piece of crap hunting item like a "free" pair of binoculars


;-)

.
 
When several guys are traveling together you should get X (depends on how far your trip is) amount of money from each guy and put in a envelope"marked gas"
Then use it for gas at each fillup, that way you don't have one guy putting in $80 at a stop and another putting in $60 at his stop. Now if there is any money left over it should be split up equal between the guys. Sure keeps friends and it easy as pie.

"I have found if you go the extra mile it's Never crowded".
>[Font][Font color = "green"]Life member of
>the MM green signature club.[font/]
 
always discuss finances up front or let it go. NEVER tell the wife how much money is spent on hunting--NEVER. Unless money isn't an issue, that's unlikely for most of us.
 
LAST EDITED ON Nov-15-11 AT 10:48AM (MST)[p]>This season, my dad asked me
>if I would like to
>tag along on his deer
>and antelope hunt to Montana.
>We hunted there together back
>in the early 80's. Dad
>is now 83 and I
>would have loved to go
>but, I haven't worked in
>18 months and every dollar
>is saved to pay the
>bills. What dad and his
>buddy really needed was another
>guy to go along to
>split the driving time(his hunting
>buddy is mid 50's). He
>said if I wanted to
>come along he would pay
>for my gas. As much
>as I would have liked
>to go and spend the
>week with my dad, I
>just looked at him in
>disbelief and said, "you will
>be paying for YOUR gas
>whether I go or not".
>I explained(he knew anyways) my
>financial situation and said that
>if he paid for my
>meals, the lodging was free,
>that I would love to
>go. He told me, "if
>paying for the gas wasn't
>enough I could just stay
>home" OUCH!!

I would've found a way to go, no matter the cost. Some things in life are simply too great to miss, and a hunting trip with your 83-year-old dad may just be the very last opportuinity you'd ever get. Would sure as hell hate to think I missed an opportunity to spend time with my dad, all over a few hundred bucks, but that's just me. Hell, collect alumunim cans, donate plasma, something.
 
>Little standard I live by that
>I learned a long time
>ago regarding money.
>
>If someone i know needs money,
>I will never saddle them
>with the obligation of a
>loan. If I have it
>to lend them, I need
>to be willing to just
>give it to them. I
>don't want anyone being a
>"slave" to me. Same goes
>for your situation, if that
>money leaves you wallet, you
>need to be willing to
>give it and give it
>freely. Now, that doesn't mean
>you don't live and learn
>by this and have a
>plan set up prior so
>everyone knows they are splitting
>the bill. But once that
>money leaves your wallet, have
>the mindset that its gone
>and you'll never see it
>again. It actually does more
>for you than the person
>you're doing it for. Its
>freeing not to have to
>worry about it. Now I
>read your posts and I
>know you've let it go
>which is very cool and
>wise of you. You can
>also explain it this way
>to your wife. Wives have
>a way of putting pressure
>on you about money and
>friends.
>
>Not trying to stir the pot
>but my woman doesn't "let"
>me do sh!t. She also
>doesn't "give" me time off.
>We discuss things of course
>but that crap don't fly
>with me! I work damn
>hard for the money I
>make and 90% of the
>year I'm home with the
>kids and if I'm going
>hunting, she can come or
>she can stay but I'm
>going hunting.
>
>Now my ex-wife, that was a
>different story and thats why
>she's my ex wife.
>

Well said....On both accounts


horsepoop.gif


Disclaimer:
The poster does not take any responsibility for any hurt or bad feelings. Reading threads poses inherent risks. The poster would like to remind readers to make sure they have a functional sense of humor before they visit any discussion board.
 
Interesting point Zigga, I'll take the bait. That friend has been on guided antelope hunts. The buck he shot with his 2 buddies is the biggest antelope he has killed. JB
 
AHH so half way through reading all the posts we find out that really THE WIFE is pissed that you spent $500 on gas etc.

THAT is the real problem. You had no problem with your buddy until your wife did the math with you and asked why. Well my friend in the future you need to talk to your wife before committing to go help a buddy out. Tell her that you will probably spend $300 - $500 going on the trip, and that you would really like to go and help your friend.

You should also talk to the friend and say that your wife will freak out if you spend $500 on the trip and not even have the tag, can he help out etc. etc.

Either way you better not keep a running tally on how much you spend, and how much your buddy spends back and forth or you will lose the friendship.
 
Good advice,except on the wife thing maybe. What works for one couple may not for another. My wife and I decided years ago not to hide purchases and spending from each other. Had some pretty good blowouts over a few things either way, but we learned to work things out, respect our different priorities. She doesn't hunt with me, but doesn't begrudge me what I spend. I don't mind dropping a few hundred bucks at the mall on her after buying a new spotting scope or something for myself either. This won't work for all couples, but consider it.

A good woman is like a financial portfolio. The more you wisely invest, the better your returns. Some portfolios take a little longer than others to get the best returns, but are still worth the investment. The key is to know what and how to invest.
 
Believe me, if I could have made it work, I would have done it. Without going into too many details, even though he introduced me to hunting as a kid, dad was a selfish SOB, treated(and still does) my mom like sheet. So it just kind of rubbed me the wrong way that he asked me to come along just to drive the truck and he would pay for MY gas. Guess my point of responding to the OP was to point out that I knew the motive behind the invite and I politely passed as I knew I was going to be used and it was gonna cost me financially.
 

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