Blonde Joke

Wiszard · Mar 19, 2009

Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the
sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror
and says, 'Hmm, this person looks familiar.'

The second blonde says, 'Here, let me see!'

So, the first blonde hands her the compact.

The second blonde looks in the mirror and says, 'You dummy, it's me!'

bigandtasty · Mar 21, 2009

That's great! Anymore blonde jokes? I'm married to one. Thanks!

Packout · Mar 21, 2009

That was good. My wife is blonde also and she gets all kinds of blonde jokes told to her by strangers. The look on her face when some stranger tells her a joke is usually better than the joke.

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www.sagebasin.com
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bigandtasty · Mar 21, 2009

Blonde at Football Game
A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game.

She replies: "Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don't understand."

"What did you not understand ?"

And the blonde says: "Well, at the begginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it's just a quarter!"

madmoose · Mar 21, 2009

a blonde walks up to the bank of a river and sees another blonde on the opposite side playing at the waters edge. first blonde yells over " Hey... how did you get on the otherside?"

the other blonde lifts her head and yells her reply " YOUR ALREADY ON THE OTHERSIDE".

tageater · Mar 21, 2009

Two blondes walked into a building.........you'd think one of them would have seen it.

bigandtasty · Mar 21, 2009

Ventriloquist

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small town in Utah. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting: "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes.
What makes you think you can stereo-type women that way?
What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being?
It's guys like you who keeps women like me from being respected at work, and in the community, and from reaching our full potential as a person!
Because you and your kind, continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general, and all in the name of humor!!!"
The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize,
and the blonde yells, "You stay out of this, mister!
I'm talking to that little sh$t on your knee...."

antlerrick · Mar 22, 2009

You just gotta love blonde jokes!
But I don't dare use many at my house.....lol

bigandtasty · Mar 22, 2009

Blonde Painting the House

This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all
these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid,
so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are
smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is
going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.

The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets
down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and
smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living
room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat.
He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at
the same time.

He goes over and asks her if she is OK. She replies yes. He asks
what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him
that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by
painting the house. He then asks her why she has a ski jacket
over her fur coat. She replies that she was reading the
directions on the paint can and they said....

FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS.

sageadvice · Mar 22, 2009

"You stay out of this, mister!
I'm talking to that little sh$t on your knee...."

LOL!!! classic ;-)

the other Joey

archerelk · Mar 23, 2009

A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife died. The undertaker told the husband "you can ship her home and bury her for $5000, or bury her here in the holy land for $150."
The man thought about it and told him he would like to have her shipped home. The undertaker looking confused asked the man "why would you spend $5000 to ship her home when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would only have to spend $150?"
The man replied, "long ago a man died and was buried here, three days later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance."

TAGATTRACTER · Mar 23, 2009

3 Blondes went for a walk in the country when they come across some tracks. The first Blondes exclaims look at the Deer tracks. The second Blonde says I think they are Turkey tracks. The third Blond says no they are Moose tracks. The next mornings headline in the local paper reads 3 Blondes hit by train.

JakeH · Mar 23, 2009

Why was the Blond chicks belly button brused...
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.Because her boy friend was blond too.

Jake H. MM Member since 1999.

usahunter · Mar 23, 2009

Blonde and a redhead watching the news, a report of a woman on a bridge contemplating suicide comes on , the redhead says to the blonde " I'll bet you ten bucks she jumps " the blonde says OK I don't think so you're on , the woman jumps and the blonde tries to give the redhead 10 bucks, the redhead says I can't take your money I saw the news report earlier and I knew she jumped , the blonde says " so did I but I didn't think she would do it again ".

bigandtasty · Mar 23, 2009

You've got Blonde....

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox and again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, ?Is something wrong??

To which she replied, ?There certainly is!?

My stupid computer keeps saying, ?You?ve got mail!?