Accurate?V-Day gift ideas 4 guys

TripleK

Long Time Member
Messages
3,658
So...would you say these ideas are pretty accurate or what?

10 Things a Guy Really Wants for Valentine's Day
You don't want roses; he doesn't want whatever it is you think he wants.

By Ky Henderson


Rock Band
Whether he fronted a band in college or can't even play the kazoo, every guy secretly dreams of being a rock star. Unfortunately, the pursuit of that dream would almost certainly result in financial ruin and total humiliation ? for both of you. So buy him the video game Rock Band, which lets him be a guitarist, singer, drummer, or -- if he has serious self-esteem issues -- bassist in his very own virtual band. And don't forget, he'll be looking for a groupie after he finishes the encore. ($170, rockbandstore.com)

Silence
Contrary to popular belief, the thing married men miss most about their bachelorhood isn't the opportunity to go out and chase women -- it's the opportunity to stay home and be alone. That's not to say they'd rather live in a cave; they just like to pretend they do now and again, even if they do it while wrapped up in your Laura Ashley comforter. So agree to schedule nights where he can rule the remote and eat chicken-fried bacon pizza while you go out with friends or work in your home office with the door closed. You'll be surprised how quickly it'll recharge his emotional batteries.

Get-Out-of-Jail-Free Card
Hey, we all make mistakes. And unless those mistakes involve illicitly procured human organs, Interpol, or a second familia in Honduras, there's no better gift you can bestow than unconditional amnesty. Simply tell him that he can redeem this card after a mild-to-moderate screw-up in the coming year. In return, you'll forget it ever happened -- no questions asked. He'll be grateful for your understanding, and you'll be assured that he didn't lie in order to escape your wrath.

An Outfit Worn for Him
Your guy knows that you usually dress to impress other women, not to attract him. So when you do wear something that's solely for his benefit, he's extremely appreciative -- and can't wait to tear it off you. It needn't be an over-the-top Catholic schoolgirl outfit or a black patent leather zipper-crotch bodysuit ? unless you're into that sort of thing. Instead, don a shirt with a plunging neckline, fishnets, or a skirt that's an inch shorter than anything else in your closet. Feel self-conscious? You won't once you see him ogling you.

Less Makeup
A little eyeliner and lipstick are great. But unless you're a newscaster or an octogenarian, there's no reason to cake your face with goopy foundation and -- sorry, but you're not really fooling anyone -- patchy zit-hider. Up close, subtle makeup is always more attractive. Besides, guys appreciate women who look good au naturel. Take racecar driver Danica Patrick; when all made up for talk shows, she's unremarkable. But when she's at the track in her jumpsuit with her hair tied up in a ponytail, she's the hottest thing on four wheels. He clearly thinks you're cute -- so why conceal it under a bunch of, er, concealer?

Gift Ideas -- For You
If you're reading this, you know how difficult it is to find the right present for your spouse. So what better way to say you love him than to spare him from aimlessly wandering around a crowded mall until he buys you a woefully ill-advised gift at Hot Topic? If catching on to subtle hints isn't his specialty, have a friend brief him on what you might like this year. He'll feel like a genius, you'll get exactly what you want, and you'll both eliminate awkward trips to the store to buy, and then secretly return, crappy presents.

Driving School
Most males love to drive. But unfortunately, the kind of driving your guy typically does -- commuting through rage-inducing traffic or weekend runs to Bed Bath & Beyond -- isn't enjoyable. So help remind him that he can have fun in a car by sending him to one of dozens of different driving schools held all over the country. Better yet, go with him to one like The Land Rover Experience at the Biltmore Estate in Asheville, NC. He can test the amazing SUV's off-roading limits on the 8,000-acre property; you can explore the 250-room mansion, winery, and four-star hotel. Everybody wins! ($200-$800, landrover.com)

Binoculars
The best gift is unexpected, something he wouldn't buy for himself, or is able to elicit an emotional response. Believe it or not, a pair of binoculars is all three: It's an unusual present, and unless he's a private detective, weird birdwatcher, or total pervert, chances are he doesn't own a pair. Plus, they'll remind him of the first time he was fascinated by binoculars as a little boy. (All boys are.) For maximum versatility, buy him a rugged pair of travel binoculars like Nikon's 8x42 Monarch ATBs, which are waterproof, shockproof, and, most importantly, cool lookin'.

Booze
Sure, his occasional intake of alcohol has indirectly led to an argument or two. But it's a gift you can be sure he'll use and enjoy. Rather than buying him a case of the beer he guzzles with buddies on Sundays, introduce him to something he may not have tried before. India Pale Ales (so named because the British sent the hoppier, more alcoholic beer to colonial soldiers in India), like Dogfish Head 90 Minute IPA, are becoming more and more popular. If he's a spirits man, buy him an Irish whiskey -- a subtler cousin of Scotch -- like Bushmills 16 Year Single Malt. It's so good, he'll gladly stay home to go drinking.

Fantasy Sex
Sure, it seems like a no-brainer, but first you have to do some detective work. Was he particularly attentive during the refrigerator scene when you rented 9 1/2 Weeks? Then bring some strawberries to bed. Have you ever caught him perusing an, ahem, erotic website? Well, take a look at what goes on there. Or, if all else fails, casually ask him outside the bedroom, then surprise him in it later. If you help make a fantasy of his come true, he'll remember it long after he loses that pair of Isotoners you bought him.


y8100.gif
 
Well now, let me think.

A pair of Swarovski's, some single malt, and a little fantasy sex.

those would work for me.

beanman
 
>Well now, let me think.
>
>A pair of Swarovski's, some single
>malt, and a little fantasy
>sex.
>
>those would work for me.
>
>beanman

Does the fanatasy sex include alot of make up though? That could be in conflict w/the less make-up idea. Oh...and definitely fantasy sex in an outfit bought just for you, right? lol


y8100.gif
 
Jenn,

I not much on makeup and neither is my Wife. The outfit would be just plain nothing, just a surprise in place and timing.
We spent our wedding night in a backpacking tent. And we were so damn tired from all the wedding fuss that we just went to sleep.

Beanman
 
""binoculars is all three: It's an unusual present, and unless he's a private detective, or total pervert, chances are he doesn't own a pair."""


Haha, Everyone on MonsterMuleys are perverts.:7

I know I am...}>




Jake H. MM Member since 1999.
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F the dozen roses, I want a dozen arrows!

Timberline
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"Live for somethin' or die for nothin'"
 
>""binoculars is all three: It's an
>unusual present, and unless he's
>a private detective, or total
>pervert, chances are he doesn't
>own a pair."""
>
>
>Haha, Everyone on MonsterMuleys are perverts.:7
>
>
>I know I am...}>
>
>
>
LOL Jake...that one is kinda dumb. ALL the guys I know have binos. I have my own pair in my truck as well. Never leave home w/out em'!
 
WELL???

WOULD A BOXED GIFT FROM THE OPPOSITE SE# BE POSSIBLE???

I THINK Beefy WAS WONDERING IF DD'S COULD BE BOXED AS A GIFT???

THIS IS MY NEW GUN,YOU MAY NOT LIKE IT,YOU'LL LIKE IT A HELL OF A LOT LESS WHEN IT HITS ITS DESTINATION!!!
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THE ONLY bobcat THAT KNOWS ALOT OF YOU HAVE HAD THIS IMAGE IN YOUR PEA BRAIN BUT DUE TO POOR SHOOTING TACTICS I'M STILL KICKIN!!!
 
I got a pair a leicas. How about a case a cutthroat pale ale's and a hum,hum,hummer. Better yet how about a hum,hum,hummer while I'm drinkin the beer you just bought me! WOW Last time that happened I ended up married. But hell we all know it won't last when a relationship is based on sex and booze.
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"I needed a cheesy signature saying like everyone else"
 
BUT NUNYA???

I THOUGHT YOU SAID IT WASN'T SO BAD???

YOU SAID WHEN YOU GET DONE WITH ONE HUM YOU MOVE ON TO THE NEXT HUM!!!

THATS THE PROBLEM WAYNE!!!

YOU CAN HANDLE BOTH AS LONG AS ITS ONE OR THE OTHER,WHEN YOU TANGLE WITH BOTH AT THE SAME TIME YOU END UP MARRIED THE NEXT MORNING!!!

BY THE WAY!!!

YOUR SIGN-OFF LINE SUCKS!!!

I'M SURE AFTER A FEW DRINKS & A COUPLE OF GALS YOU COULD COME UP WITH SOMETHING BETTER THAN THAT???



THIS IS MY NEW GUN,YOU MAY NOT LIKE IT,YOU'LL LIKE IT A HELL OF A LOT LESS WHEN IT HITS ITS DESTINATION!!!
47654abd5a8fd79a.jpg


469ff2b8110d7f4e.jpg


THE ONLY bobcat THAT KNOWS ALOT OF YOU HAVE HAD THIS IMAGE IN YOUR PEA BRAIN BUT DUE TO POOR SHOOTING TACTICS I'M STILL KICKIN!!!
 
My sign off ROCKS! All the other catchy little phrases everyone else has are pretty gay.
Bess I just sent you pics of my new love! She is tight, smokin hot and all any guy could ever want!!! Check her out but don't make a mess on yer keyboard!



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"I needed a cheesy signature saying like everyone else"
 
WELL WAYNE!!!

I WISH I COULD TAKE A PEAK AT HER!!!

BUT MY INBOX IS ALL MESSED UP & I CAN'T RECEIVE AND VIEW ANY OF MY INCOMMING MAIL AT THE PRESENT TIME!!!

I'LL BET SHE'S HOT THOUGH???

IS IT JAN???

TIGHT HUH???

DO WORRY WAYNE,IF I CAN'T SEE HER THE KEYBOARD WILL STAY CLEAN!!!

MAYBE YOU CAN CHIME IN TONIGHT ON THE CHAT & POST US A PICTURE???

MAYBE INCLUDE HER IN YOUR NEW SIGN-OFF???



THIS IS MY NEW GUN,YOU MAY NOT LIKE IT,YOU'LL LIKE IT A HELL OF A LOT LESS WHEN IT HITS ITS DESTINATION!!!
47654abd5a8fd79a.jpg


469ff2b8110d7f4e.jpg


THE ONLY bobcat THAT KNOWS ALOT OF YOU HAVE HAD THIS IMAGE IN YOUR PEA BRAIN BUT DUE TO POOR SHOOTING TACTICS I'M STILL KICKIN!!!
 
Fess up you morons .... you don't care what you get as long as she's naked when she gives it to you.

RUS
 
EASY RUS!!!

HILLARY AIN'T GONNA LOOK THAT GOOD WHEN SHE'S NAKED OR WHEN SHE TAKES ATHENA!!!



THIS IS MY NEW GUN,YOU MAY NOT LIKE IT,YOU'LL LIKE IT A HELL OF A LOT LESS WHEN IT HITS ITS DESTINATION!!!
47654abd5a8fd79a.jpg


469ff2b8110d7f4e.jpg


THE ONLY bobcat THAT KNOWS ALOT OF YOU HAVE HAD THIS IMAGE IN YOUR PEA BRAIN BUT DUE TO POOR SHOOTING TACTICS I'M STILL KICKIN!!!
 
That is a pretty good list Triple K, I'll have to forward it to my wife with some "not too subtle" hints.
 

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