T
tageater
Guest
don't fart in bed
a man and woman were happily married for many years. the only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke. the noise would wake his wife, and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off, because the smell was making her sick. he told her that he could'nt stop it, but that it was perfectly natural. she told him to see a doctor, concerned that one day he would blow his guts out. the years went by, and he continued to rip them out! then one thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner, and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had placed the turkey innards, and a malicious thought came to her. she took the bowl upstairs where her husband was sleeping, and gently emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts. some time later, she heard her husband with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream, and the sound of him running into the bathroom. the wife could hardly contain herself, as she rolled on the floor with tears in her eyes, figuring she had gotten him pretty good! about twenty minutes later, her husband came down wearing bloodstained shorts and a look of horror on his face. she bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. he said, "honey, you were right, all those years you warned me, but i did'nt listen." "what do you mean?" asked his wife. "well, you always said that one day i would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. but by the grace of God,some vaseline, and these two fingers, i think i got most of them back in."
a man and woman were happily married for many years. the only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke. the noise would wake his wife, and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off, because the smell was making her sick. he told her that he could'nt stop it, but that it was perfectly natural. she told him to see a doctor, concerned that one day he would blow his guts out. the years went by, and he continued to rip them out! then one thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner, and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had placed the turkey innards, and a malicious thought came to her. she took the bowl upstairs where her husband was sleeping, and gently emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts. some time later, she heard her husband with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream, and the sound of him running into the bathroom. the wife could hardly contain herself, as she rolled on the floor with tears in her eyes, figuring she had gotten him pretty good! about twenty minutes later, her husband came down wearing bloodstained shorts and a look of horror on his face. she bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. he said, "honey, you were right, all those years you warned me, but i did'nt listen." "what do you mean?" asked his wife. "well, you always said that one day i would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. but by the grace of God,some vaseline, and these two fingers, i think i got most of them back in."
