The 4th Annual MM Christmas Party arrived without much fanfare in large part due to it being ?By Invitation Only?. That was necessary after events at last years party which included 4 felonies, 3 misdemeanors and 2 unwanted pregnancies.
Yet again I wasn?t invited but I knew there had to be a way to get my hands on an invite. I contacted one of the well known invitation brokers, Darth Garter, and inquired about availability. As luck would have it there were a few left and after paying an overinflated price I was very happy to be going. I was in a bit of a hurry and distracted leaving the house when I hit a fire hydrant, then a tree at the end of my driveway.
That didn't stop me from going though. This is when months of cross training would pay off and I was determined to get there as fast as I could.
I wasn?t allowed in to the compound.....err property, but eventually I found access under the electrified perimeter fence. The house was much smaller than I expected but someone obviously put a lot of time and thought into the decorations. Nice job Roy, I like your no-frills, penny-pinching style, good to see that higher education paying off. When does your new show come out on HGTV?
Guests were greeted by Wiszard?s wife. She's a real looker and you can see why Steve ?hits? it. She's not the brightest light in the ball park but she bakes a great meth cake. With Agassi attending it didnt last long.
In the backyard Billy Ocean?s ?Caribbean Queen? was blaring through the speakers and the crowd went crazy. When grizzlyplumber tried to grind against AZstickman and alp75 things got a bit out of hand. Luckily cooler heads prevailed and they were all seen later sipping egg nog through the same straw.
Slamdunk was there of course. He?d been working out for an upcoming show and was looking buff. The guy had more definition than Websters but had a package so small UPS wouldn't deliver it.
Dunk?s 1-year old son was there as well. After being on mother?s milk for the first month, baby Arnold was switched to Muscle Milk. The phenomenal growth speaks for itself and I can't foresee any adverse side affects (my eyes rolling), although he does go through diapers like Stinky goes through bullets on an elk hunt.
Not to be outdone, Kilowatt had secretly been working out and was taking massive amounts of Viagra to offset the effects of the roids. Seen here, Kilo musters all his energy to subdue his ever-growing holiday joy.
cjboz showed up trying to impress the ladies with his 6-pack abs. Looks like the type of muscle you get from sitting in to many ground blinds over a grain feeder.
Someone said OutdoorWriter was in the back room spooning with his big lens. I thought it was some kind of technical photography term but it turns out it is what it is.
Nickman and D13er rolled in on their new road hunting rig made by LazyFord. You should call Pimp My Ride, they might Scotchgard it and put a lift under it for you.
There was plenty of entertainment for all ages. Triple K and Qtip kissed and made up (in private) then surprised the crowd with a game of charades. Triple K couldn't live with herself in the morning so she slept till noon.
Later on Qtip bared her implants to a few of the curious onlookers. I wasnt sure if the doc did an udderly bad job but it does explain why Stinky loves Wyoming.
She had more hands on her then a bong at a Greatful Dead concert.
Yeah stinkystomper was there, craving attention like a 5 year old at his own birthday party. After wetting his undies and stripping down naked he pranced around the back yard for all to see.
1911 brought this corn-fed beauty who dressed with a lot of Christmas spirit... unfortunately she hit the buffet line early and people went home hungry that night.
I didn't see bobcatbess but there were signs he had been around. Catman, you may want to lay off the bran.
PleaseDear, having tired of pulling his goats around the hills, was seen showing off his new elk hauling invention.
cbeard was sitting in the corner by himself. I asked him ?Why the long face??. He mumbled something but I couldn't understand him, must have been lawyer talk. Based on his drunkeness I'd guess he's only passed one bar in his life. beard said he's rather be a drunk, alcoholics have to go to meetings and he doesnt have time for that.
never_catch made a brief appearance but went missing for a while until he was captured on the home security camera checking out Stanleys wife?s new car.
Manny?s 3 single daughters showed up. Rackmaster at first denied being the father but the events caught on the trail camera were undisputable. Of course many people, Manny included, were very upset about this... they contend the use of trail cameras are unethical.
After his shift at the mall was over, then a quick stop to the donut shop, Browtine arrived to provide security. Hey Brow, John Oates called, he wants his mustache back.
B_F_E (aka Begging For Estrogen) had a problem with the cranberry juice, or maybe it was the peach schnapps, and spent most of the night in the john. Sorry the party was such a drag for you Beefer.
BeanMan arrived dressed for the occasion but pretty much kept to himself. He?d grimace, get a smile on his face then go back to cowering against the wall. Judging by the smell and the burning in my eyes I'm guessing his new strain of jalapeno beans won't be a hit.
BuckSnort was there with his new wife. He obviously didnt want to be there but she made him go, saying ?I had to bring him, he was to ugly to kiss goodbye?.
No secret where Overton got his name. He was on display during feeding time... until he bit a hand off one of his trainers.
VelvetJones showed up with a case of malt liquor and some associates. Velvet, it was a business doing pleasure with you.
Hunt_Rez was there, brought his photo album with him. He had no RESERVATIONS showing off pictures of his biggest buck. No ground shrinkage there.
I caught NVBighorn trying to take a peak at my wifes panties. Carl you've been to the house enough to know she don't wear any.
In a rather chaotic scene TAGATTRACTER pulled down his pants and asked to be kissed below his ?Missile Toe?. I left the room when Rugarm77 started strumming the theme from Deliverance.
The Founder, who looked smaller in person, found me and wanted to kick my butt for posting offensive stuff on his site. After a young boy fired a few punches at me and missed, he seized the opportunity and flew through the air at me and connected with a lucky long shot. I gotta admit it hurt but probably not as bad as getting kicked by a horse.
Speaking of horses, BHWAR showed up looking for her saddle. Dressed like that I could tell ya 16 inches is wishful thinking. Giddyup cowgirl.
Completesportsman arrived with his youngest. Cute little guy but already had some bad habits.... the diaper digging and drooling should have been curtailed long ago.
Last person I met was Eel. He was supposed to play Santa for the kids a little later in the evening but this would prove to be the year that Santa came early.
All in good fun guys. I tried to humorously offend..ughhh honor as many as possible. Many of those I forgot I'm sure I'll catch up with at the MM New Years Eve party.
Yet again I wasn?t invited but I knew there had to be a way to get my hands on an invite. I contacted one of the well known invitation brokers, Darth Garter, and inquired about availability. As luck would have it there were a few left and after paying an overinflated price I was very happy to be going. I was in a bit of a hurry and distracted leaving the house when I hit a fire hydrant, then a tree at the end of my driveway.
That didn't stop me from going though. This is when months of cross training would pay off and I was determined to get there as fast as I could.
I wasn?t allowed in to the compound.....err property, but eventually I found access under the electrified perimeter fence. The house was much smaller than I expected but someone obviously put a lot of time and thought into the decorations. Nice job Roy, I like your no-frills, penny-pinching style, good to see that higher education paying off. When does your new show come out on HGTV?
Guests were greeted by Wiszard?s wife. She's a real looker and you can see why Steve ?hits? it. She's not the brightest light in the ball park but she bakes a great meth cake. With Agassi attending it didnt last long.
In the backyard Billy Ocean?s ?Caribbean Queen? was blaring through the speakers and the crowd went crazy. When grizzlyplumber tried to grind against AZstickman and alp75 things got a bit out of hand. Luckily cooler heads prevailed and they were all seen later sipping egg nog through the same straw.
Slamdunk was there of course. He?d been working out for an upcoming show and was looking buff. The guy had more definition than Websters but had a package so small UPS wouldn't deliver it.
Dunk?s 1-year old son was there as well. After being on mother?s milk for the first month, baby Arnold was switched to Muscle Milk. The phenomenal growth speaks for itself and I can't foresee any adverse side affects (my eyes rolling), although he does go through diapers like Stinky goes through bullets on an elk hunt.
Not to be outdone, Kilowatt had secretly been working out and was taking massive amounts of Viagra to offset the effects of the roids. Seen here, Kilo musters all his energy to subdue his ever-growing holiday joy.
cjboz showed up trying to impress the ladies with his 6-pack abs. Looks like the type of muscle you get from sitting in to many ground blinds over a grain feeder.
Someone said OutdoorWriter was in the back room spooning with his big lens. I thought it was some kind of technical photography term but it turns out it is what it is.
Nickman and D13er rolled in on their new road hunting rig made by LazyFord. You should call Pimp My Ride, they might Scotchgard it and put a lift under it for you.
There was plenty of entertainment for all ages. Triple K and Qtip kissed and made up (in private) then surprised the crowd with a game of charades. Triple K couldn't live with herself in the morning so she slept till noon.
Later on Qtip bared her implants to a few of the curious onlookers. I wasnt sure if the doc did an udderly bad job but it does explain why Stinky loves Wyoming.
She had more hands on her then a bong at a Greatful Dead concert.
Yeah stinkystomper was there, craving attention like a 5 year old at his own birthday party. After wetting his undies and stripping down naked he pranced around the back yard for all to see.
1911 brought this corn-fed beauty who dressed with a lot of Christmas spirit... unfortunately she hit the buffet line early and people went home hungry that night.
I didn't see bobcatbess but there were signs he had been around. Catman, you may want to lay off the bran.
PleaseDear, having tired of pulling his goats around the hills, was seen showing off his new elk hauling invention.
cbeard was sitting in the corner by himself. I asked him ?Why the long face??. He mumbled something but I couldn't understand him, must have been lawyer talk. Based on his drunkeness I'd guess he's only passed one bar in his life. beard said he's rather be a drunk, alcoholics have to go to meetings and he doesnt have time for that.
never_catch made a brief appearance but went missing for a while until he was captured on the home security camera checking out Stanleys wife?s new car.
Manny?s 3 single daughters showed up. Rackmaster at first denied being the father but the events caught on the trail camera were undisputable. Of course many people, Manny included, were very upset about this... they contend the use of trail cameras are unethical.
After his shift at the mall was over, then a quick stop to the donut shop, Browtine arrived to provide security. Hey Brow, John Oates called, he wants his mustache back.
B_F_E (aka Begging For Estrogen) had a problem with the cranberry juice, or maybe it was the peach schnapps, and spent most of the night in the john. Sorry the party was such a drag for you Beefer.
BeanMan arrived dressed for the occasion but pretty much kept to himself. He?d grimace, get a smile on his face then go back to cowering against the wall. Judging by the smell and the burning in my eyes I'm guessing his new strain of jalapeno beans won't be a hit.
BuckSnort was there with his new wife. He obviously didnt want to be there but she made him go, saying ?I had to bring him, he was to ugly to kiss goodbye?.
No secret where Overton got his name. He was on display during feeding time... until he bit a hand off one of his trainers.
VelvetJones showed up with a case of malt liquor and some associates. Velvet, it was a business doing pleasure with you.
Hunt_Rez was there, brought his photo album with him. He had no RESERVATIONS showing off pictures of his biggest buck. No ground shrinkage there.
I caught NVBighorn trying to take a peak at my wifes panties. Carl you've been to the house enough to know she don't wear any.
In a rather chaotic scene TAGATTRACTER pulled down his pants and asked to be kissed below his ?Missile Toe?. I left the room when Rugarm77 started strumming the theme from Deliverance.
The Founder, who looked smaller in person, found me and wanted to kick my butt for posting offensive stuff on his site. After a young boy fired a few punches at me and missed, he seized the opportunity and flew through the air at me and connected with a lucky long shot. I gotta admit it hurt but probably not as bad as getting kicked by a horse.
Speaking of horses, BHWAR showed up looking for her saddle. Dressed like that I could tell ya 16 inches is wishful thinking. Giddyup cowgirl.
Completesportsman arrived with his youngest. Cute little guy but already had some bad habits.... the diaper digging and drooling should have been curtailed long ago.
Last person I met was Eel. He was supposed to play Santa for the kids a little later in the evening but this would prove to be the year that Santa came early.
All in good fun guys. I tried to humorously offend..ughhh honor as many as possible. Many of those I forgot I'm sure I'll catch up with at the MM New Years Eve party.
